Sunday, December 2, 2007

Body Shapes and Feelings Of Inadequacy

Often a first sexual encounter with a new partner, causes feelings of inadequacy. As you take off your clothing, you suddenly wish that your thighs were thinner, your stomach flatter, your penis or breasts bigger. You worry that your partner won't like your body and it is often hard to come to terms with the way we look. Here are some concepts to remember.

1) No one is perfect. This should be an easy one, but media and culture today make it difficult to believe. Both males and females are attacked by advertisers looking to make money. I can't count the number of commercials about everything from clothing to hair loss solutions that try to sell the idea that without their product, you will not be as attractive.

Here's a wake-up call, though. Even supermodels, models and porn stars aren't perfect. Even they must wake up, look in the mirror and be dissatisfied, or why would they get all the plastic surgery?


They have simply learned the art of showing their best side and/or have been lucky enough to be born in a generation where their body form is considered ideal.

2) Deny the Negative. I remember the story of a group of girls who were at a sleepover. As part of a "truth or dare" game they had to point out their worst physical feature. As the girls named the body part that they hated the most, the other girls were surprised as they hadn't even noticed the problem. By the end of it, the girls couldn't stop staring at everyone else's "big nose" "high forehead" ect.

There is a good lesson in this. If you do have small breasts, lumpy penis or any other physical problem, don't draw attention to it. Going around complaining about it, will only draw attention away from your good points.

3) Trade-Off. Sometimes its hard not to notice the things that you hate about yourself. For every thing you don't like about your body, find one thing that's amazing. For example, if you think that you have an ugly vagina, tell yourself that you have amazingly perky breasts. If you have a bad complexion, counter that with your incredible teeth. Start re-building your confidence by recognizing your positive points.

4) Focus on the Positive. Realize that your good points are better then your bad points. Show off your good points by choosing clothing and lingerie that show off your positive parts. Take a positive attitude and help boost your confidence with an occasional comment like, "Wow, I can't believe how hard my cock is!" that invites your partner to agree with you.

Its very important to focus on your partner's good points as well. Take opportunities to point out their feature that you find pleasing. If your partner has great feeling testicles or beautiful labia, tell them so. They will appreciate the boost. Just remember to be honest and sincere. Telling a man with an obviously small penis that it is "such a monster" will simply make the situation awkward. Instead focus on something like "The way your muscles feel under my hands.

4) Be good to yourself. In truth, the things that you don't like about your body are not that bad. Keeping a positive attitude in life will make you attractive. Get involved in some sort of physical activity and some social activities. Take up some hobbies. Dress well. If you are feeling good mentally, it will make you attractive to other people.

They will be impressed with you, regardless of your shape and size and will want to get to know you because of your grace, intelligence and confidence. And once they get to know you, they will suddenly realize that you have the most incredible eyes....

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