Friday, October 10, 2008

Q & A: How do you get a man to perform oral sex?

Q. Here's what I really need advice for. I've been dating one woman for about five months now, and she really means a lot to me. Our sex life is great, and I normally feel confident when we're together in this manner, all except for one thing. She often gives me oral sex, but as of now I've only gone down on her twice. This is the first relationship in which I've done this, and so I'm very inexperienced and unconfident. I just don't know quite what to do down there, and I don't think it's near as exciting for her as it is for me when she goes down on me. Could you possibly give me some "technical advice?" I really want to please her with this, and I just feel like don't have the knowledge or skills yet. Thanks for your time.

Dear Anxious,
Take some time and check her out down there. Be familiar with her genitals and where and what all her parts are. Most importantly, know where her clitoris is. You need to suck and lick on the clitoris (of course, fingering the vagina adds extra stimulation...). And don't be shy!! Ask her what feels good and what doesn't. You'll never master cunnilingus on your girlfriend unless you get her feedback.

Q. How do you get a man to perform oral sex? I really love my boyfriend and enjoy having sex with him. Unfortunately, he's not as experienced as I am and, I think, he may be a little uncomfortable with anything other than the man on top/woman on top positions. He enjoys it when I give him blowjobs (as do I) but he has yet to return the favor. I think he feels a little lost "down there". But I don't mind "playing doctor" and letting him take his time learning his way around. So how do I turn him on to the idea of "eating out" and assure him that what he doesn't know he can learn? Oh, and it's okay to post this for other readers to answer as well.
Kiss Me Down There

Dear Kiss Me,
Some men believe or are afraid that a woman will be "dirty" down there. To avoid this, bathe with your boyfriend and have him wash your genitals. Afterwards, lie down and ask him to just look at your genitals. Prior to this, be certain you know your genitals well, so you may answer any questions he may have. You're probably right, though, about him feeling uncomfortable about what he may not know. Hopefully, he'll be more willing to perform cunnilingus on you once he "knows his way around".

Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to perform oral sex on me because of the following problem that I have: My penis leaks white fluid which she says is not normal, because it leaks a great amount. When I even touch her body in a movie theatre, my underwear get wet and it is just uncomfortable with me! What is my problem? Sometimes even when we talk about sex on the phone my penis leaks. Sometimes, when I think about having sex, the white fluid starts going out of the head of my penis. And even, after a shower, I feel sometimes when I think of it, it leaks a bit. Why is my penis leaking like that? Can you please help me? And I am really feeling bad about not getting oral sex. She just doesn't like to do it on me because it leaks! HELP ME PLEASE!

Dear Leaky,
Sounds like you've just got a large amount of pre-ejaculatory fluid. Use a non-lubricated condom for oral sex. If you're still really bothered by this, talk to your doctor or a urologist.

Q. I've been dating a girl for about five months now and we have a great relationship. We get along well, and rarely have any serious disagreements. We sleep in the same bed every night and have a physical relationship and she has told me that she plans to see a doctor soon so that she can get on the pill and we'll start having sex, but in the meantime I'm not pressuring her into it and I'm making sure she knows it's her decision and that I'm with her for other reasons. We're both virgins and we're fine with staying that way until everything's right. She's given me oral sex and she said she liked it, and I've brought her to orgasm many times, but here's the problem - she won't let me perform oral sex on her. I've only been in one serious relationship before and that girl let me perform oral sex on her and we both loved it. I'd love to try it on my current girlfriend because I think it's something I'm good at and I think she'll enjoy it. I've dropped some hints that I'd like to try it, but she hasn't let me yet. By all indications from our conversations, she hasn't ever had it, so it's not like she has had bad experiences with it. Since she has given me oral sex, I can't imagine it's because she thinks it's disgusting. I'm confused about why she won't let me, and I really want to try it, how do you think I should approach the situation?
Willing to please my woman...

Dear Willing,
Your girlfriend may be self-conscious about how clean she is down there. Start out with a bath or shower together. Help her wash her genitals. Afterward, have her lie on the bed while you open her labia (lips) and explore her. Tell her it looks very clean and smells good (compliments will help her feel better about it). While you're doing this, touch her in a way that you know feels good for her. When you sense that she is relaxed, try licking her clitoris. If she doesn't stop you, start sucking on her clitoris. By this time, you shouldn't have a problem. If this whole "routine" doesn't work the first time, keep trying it, over and over. She'll "come" around soon enough..

Q. I'm a 17 year old male, dating a 16 year old female... A couple of weeks ago, we were home alone at her house, and I went down on her. She said she loved it, and more or less craves it now... However, she still hasn't gone down on me. I'm dying for her to, but she just hasn't. How can I get her to do this?

Dear Chris,
Have you asked her yet? If you have, and she still hasn't done it, she may be afraid of doing it "wrong". Let her know that whatever she does will feel great. If she's worried about catching a disease, or she just plain thinks it's gross, she can use a non-lubricated condom. You could also try the 69 position. She may feel more comfortable with both of you performing oral sex at the same time.

Q. I have tried going down on my girlfriend, but have not made her have an orgasm I would like some advice without all the technical terms, please.

Dear r.l.,
Suck on her clitoris and finger her vagina at the same time. And don't stare at her while you're doing it. If you don't know what these terms are, you need to look them up and find out where they are located on your girlfriend.

Q. My wife enjoys oral sex but will not let me perform it on her. One of her girlfriends keeps hinting that she would like me to eat her pussy. What should I do?

If you can't get your wife to let you perform cunnilingus on her, don't do it. To anyone.

Q. How do i give my girlfriend a perfect session of oral sex?

You communicate with her and ask her if she likes what you are doing. You won't do it perfectly the first few times... you see, you have to evolve to that.

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