Monday, December 1, 2008

Masturbation techniques for her

Mission Briefing

Ok ladies, here’s the situation. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to increase your confidence and pleasure through a revolutionary new technique called "masturbation"

Know the Enemy

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed that guys tend to joke about male masturbation a lot. Women rarely if ever joke about female masturbation. I don’t believe that I’ve ever made a comment similar to "Why’s Jane taking so long? Oh she must be off in the corner pumping her pussy!" although many of my male friends would say something like that about a pokey male comrade.

There has been a longstanding reign of taboos surrounding masturbation and many women still, if they do it, won’t admit it to anyone, even their lovers. Whether or not you choose to admit that you do it, there are benefits to taking matters into your own hands, so to speak.

I believe that people who are in touch with their own sexuality have more confidence and are better lovers. They know their body and how they like to be touched. This can increase the pleasure of a sexual situation for both you and your lover. As well, being able to depend on yourself for sexual satisfaction can take a lot of pressure off of your partner who will not be totally reliant on that part of your life.

I’m not saying that masturbation is better then a lover. There is nothing comparable to the excitement and rush of having a real human being with you, but masturbation can have its own applications.


Its important to know "what’s down there" and much of that can be discovered by exploration. Using your fingers is probably the best as it gives the best feedback as to how you feel. However, if you are squeamish about using your fingers, then using the smooth head of a dildo or wearing latex gloves will also work.

Take the time to explore the folds and creases of the vagina and surrounding area. There should be some natural lubricant, but there may be different amounts for different women. I’d suggest using a water based lubricant like K-Y Jelly for comfort. The vaginal folds can be very sensitive, especially if they get dry, so you don’t want to rub yourself to discomfort.

Strategic Planning

Most of the time, masturbation is done spontaneously when the timing is good and the need is there. For this reason most masturbation for women happens at bedtime, waking up, or in the shower. Sometimes if they are alone, women may also masturbate when reading, watching television, ect. As long as there is some time and privacy it will usually work.

Masturbation can be extremely pleasant after a nice long bath when you feel nice and relaxed or first thing in the morning when you are first waking up.

The most important aspect of masturbation, in my opinion, is the mental. The best way to masturbate is while fantasizing. You can fantasize about a lover, a scene from a book or a movie or whatever or whomever is going on in your head. Remember, this is private, and in many ways, anything goes.

This is your time. I don’t believe that you need to feel guilty fantasizing about people other then your current lover, as long as it stays in your head. The more that you enjoy your fantasy, the better your masturbation will be. Your fantasy could be anything from the concept that its someone else’s hands touching you to the idea that you are a beautiful fantasy slave girl being brought before the sexy and good-looking prince. Its definitely individual and private.

Hand to Hand Combat

A women can massage their genitals without achieving an orgasm. While this still causes pleasant feelings, there are times when a woman wants to have an orgasm. The real difference between just massaging and working towards an orgasm is intent and focus. Just massaging is like scratching an itch, going for orgasm is like working very hard for a goal.

When a woman touches herself sexually, she is looking for spots that cause a twinge of excitement. As she finds them, they start to grow until she comes to the plateau for orgasm. The amount of time and playing that takes depends on the women and situation.

Let's assume that you are comfortable with yourself and you have your fantasy…

Now comes the time to actually bring yourself to orgasm. By touching and rubbing your vagina and clitoris, many women can achieve sexual pleasure. Take your well lubricated fingers and trace the folds and area surrounding the vagina. Pay attention to the sensitive inner folds called the labia minor and the clitoris. Some women like pressure directly on the clitoris while some prefer to stroke the sides of the clitoris for a more indirect approach.

Feel free to let your fingers move in and out of your vagina, as per what feels pleasurable and continues the build up. This is once again, very individual and so you will have to try it out to find out what feels good to you.

Bringing in the heavy artillery

Once you are comfortable with the basics, there are plenty of sexual toys or "aids" that can be pleasurable such as dildos, vibrators and a wide variety of strap-on clitoral stimulators and other assorted adult toys.

Dildos are sex toys that have a phallic shape (look like a penis).

Vibrators, well they vibrate, and can cause pleasure in genital areas.

These toys will come with instructions. I would strongly recommend cleaning the toys before and after use and putting a fresh condom on your dildos or vibrators for each use. Lubrication for your toys is a must. Water based lubricants like K-Y Jelly and Astroglide are effective for vaginal lubrication.

If you are interested in toys, we have an on-line store (the link will open in a new window so that you do not lose your place here) with a huge variety of sex toys in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Special Assignments

Here are some other interesting ways to masturbate:

  • Lie on a bed and put a pillow or towel between your legs. Slowly move it back and forth so that the material rubs against your vaginal area
  • This one was recommended: Use a stream of water from your showerhead to massage your vaginal area
  • Another recommendation: Use a peeled cucumber to massage your clitoris
  • Masturbate while stretching. A great way to get some excise too. Move into a fairly comfortable stretch position and play around. For some reason the slight discomfort seems to be very focusing and lead to good orgasms
  • Play around while watching porno movie or with a good erotic novel or magazine. Act out some of the scenes with your fingers or a favorite toy
  • If you aren’t shy, masturbating in front of a partner can be interesting
  • Leaving your underwear on and playing with yourself through the fabric causes interesting sensations, especially if you start to get wet
Final Briefing

If this is the mission for you, then good luck soldier (and most of all have fun!).

Even if it isn’t for you, I hope that piece was interesting and informative. Views of women and sexuality are slowly changing and there is more openess about the exchanges of ideas. I hope that we continue down that path.

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