Sexual Techniques & Advice

Blowjob (Fellatio) Tutorial: Lessons 9-14

2009-10-29T13:42:00.001-07:00

LESSON NINE

Now lets turn to another portion of your partner's anatomy which should
not be ignored-the family jewels. Here are two objects which can enhance
your partner's feelings more than any other. Many people do not think
of the balls as primary sexual objects. Many men are extremely sensitive
and just as in lesson eight there must be a certain amount of trust
built up between the two of you before he will willingly let you have
undisputed use of these two pearls of delight!

For today's lesson begin by gently licking his balls with your tongue.
As your partner becomes more trusting you may begin to play with his
nipples with your fingers gradually increasing or decreasing the
intensity as you gauge how he is responding. You may want to gently
caress his cock with your hand while you are bathing his balls with your
tongue.

Remember that the balls are extremely sensitive to pain and he will lose
his trust in you if you do not respect any limits he places on them just
as you have the right to place limits on the back of your throat until
you are completely ready to receive him.

It is possible once you have built up this trust to take both his balls
in your mouth. He will be more receptive to this if you thoroughly wet
them with your tongue prior to taking them into your mouth. Unless your
partner is into the new fad of complete body shaving he will have tiny
hairs on his testicles. By giving the balls a complete tongue bath prior
to taking them into your mouth, you will have pressed these hairs down
along the surface of the sac and will not inadvertently cause pain by
pulling on them.

This may seem a small lesson but you will discover an entirely new world
of sensations for your partner when you take the time to get to know his
testicles!

LESSON TEN

I hesitated to include this into your lesson plan but finally I decided
that if you are aware of the most safe way to do this technique that my
responsibility for giving you the tools to be the best cocksucker you
can be will be satisfied.

Analingus. Putting your tongue to his anal opening. Ass sucking.

Before you even consider doing this, make certain that your partner is
clean. Immediately out of the shower. Place a piece of Saran wrap over
the butt. At no time should your tongue come into contact with the anal
surface itself.

For this lesson place your partner on his back with his legs in the air
and his knees close to his shoulders. This spreads his buttocks apart
and allows you access to his butthole.

You are probably under the impression that actual penetration of the
asshole itself is necessary for your partner to receive the most
complete enjoyment of this technique. Not so mojo! The nerve endings
around the anus itself have no discrimination and you will get him off
just as well and as thoroughly by licking around the area as if you
stick your tongue up his butt!

As with some of your other lessons this technique will not usually be
enough to get him to cum, but I feel that it is important to know all
aspects of your partner's body in order to give him the most complete
pleasure you can. You may find that after many hours of oral pleasure
you need to have other areas to concentrate on in order to give him the
satisfaction he deserves.

Analingus is a powerful stimulant and when combined with other
activities such as vigorous hand stimulation on his cock will cause a
rapid and powerful cum!

LESSON ELEVEN

For most of our lessons the only thing required is yourself, your
partner, and a condom. Maybe some Saran wrap. A plastic glove or two.
Well, another toy that will enhance your pleasure is a mini-vibrator.
For this lesson you may want to start with your finger. Then as you and
your partner become more accustomed to each other you may find him a
little intrigued about the vibrator and what it can do for him.

As you are giving head begin a slow playful search around his ass. Many
men are particularly sensitive in this area and it will enhance the
sensations that your mouth and tongue and throat are giving his cock to
feel a finger playing with his butt. As your partner relaxes and
allows you access, gently insert your gloved finger into his butt. Go
slowly exploring the velvety sensations along the sides of his opening.

When your finger is inside his asshole completely you will be at the
area of the prostate gland. Massage of this gland by your finger will
produce some of the most delightful sensations your partner has yet to
experience. I remember going to the doctor for a physical the first
time I felt this sensation. I could hardly wait to get home and have my
partner try it out on me again. While it was a bit embarrassing to cum
in the doctor's office, the feelings that the doctor inadvertently
produced were so strong that I wanted to experience them again and
again!

A gloved finger is really all that is required for this lesson. However
some members of the Cocksuckers Club of America report to me that a
mini-vibrator works exceptionally well for this type of stimulus. It is
just the same length as the average finger and due to the vibrations
that it produces the sensations against the prostate gland are even more
enhanced!

If your partner likes this stimulation you must then discover which
method he likes best. Some men prefer an in an out movement with the
finger or the vibrator while others do not. I personally find this
painful--too much like a stab in the dark. I prefer the finger or
vibrator to be placed against the prostate gland and left there to do
its most. Whichever method your partner prefers is the one you should
use.

One other point. When your partner cums there will be a natural tendency
for him to push the finger or vibrator out of his asshole. The asshole
muscles are spasming and anything in the way will be forced out. But to
maximize his pleasure you must not let this happen. Hold your finger or
the vibrator firmly in place-- this will help to stimulate the sperm
production to its maximum.

Many people have questioned me about a vibrator around the cock itself.
Does it add to the sensation or not?

It does for my partner, it does not for me. That seems to be the
consensus of opinion of other readers of FRENCH CUISINE MAGAZINE as
well. I suggest as long as you have the vibrator handy anyway, try it
around the penis. When you are licking his balls. When you are licking
his asshole. If he gets off on it, then feel free to use the vibrator
around his dick and balls. If he hates the sensation obviously don't
try it again.

LESSON TWELVE

There are times when you will want to get him off in a hurry! I always
say that Southern boys learn this one first and then expand their
repertory from that point. But because I want you to become an expert at
all aspects of oral lovemaking I deliberately waited until now to
introduce this technique. It differs from lesson four in that you are a
more consummate cocksucker now. He will love it all the more if he
realizes that this is not the only trick you have down your mouth!

It is a very simple technique and if you understand your partner's basic
cock anatomy you will grasp this one easily. Place your lips around the
head of your partner's cock and twirl your lips wetly and gently around
the coronal ridge at the back of the head of his penis. This does not
require any great cocksucking skill and it works simply because this is
the area that is most sensitive on your partner's cock.

It is not necessary to be a skillful cocksucker. All that is necessary
is for you to find the most sensitive area around the coronal area. By
sucking on this area of his cock continuously you will produce a quick
powerful cum. It is not necessary to bob your head up and down on his
cock to get him off. One other use of this technique is to get him hard
again after he cums and you will soon find him rip roaring to go again.

LESSON THIRTEEN

Don't be surprised if you find yourself going back to this lesson for
seconds. We discussed briefly at the end of lesson 12 a technique to get
him going again if he has recently cum. Today after you have gotten
your man off, lets concentrate on some techniques to get him back on
again. Not just to get him hard but to keep him hard. Hard enough to
want to cum again!

After he has cum you may need other techniques to keep him hard and to
keep him interested. Many men (not all but a good portion of us) are
exhausted by a single cum and while it is possible to get your partner
up again you have a long way to go before you get him to cum again.

Cocksucking alone at this time is usually not enough to get him off.
You will need to combine some of the techniques you have learned earlier
with your basic cocksucking technique to stimulate the juices for a
second and third go around. Don't hesitate in your exploration of his
body at this time. His nipples, his balls, his asshole. His armpits.
His earlobes.

For the second cum you are free to really get into his body and explore
all those erotic areas that you missed when you were concentrating on
his cock exclusively. His navel. His toes.

One of the things I find most exciting about the second cum is the lack
of expectation that you must get him to climax within a certain time
frame. You have all the time in the world to really give his total body
a complete tongue bath. You can explore his body safely and completely
and really get to know the total body as well as you know his delightful
dick! This is merely a sign that you are becoming a true connoisseur of
cockflesh. A title I am proud to hold.

LESSON FOURTEEN

Soixante-Neuf Sixty Nine

Sixty nine is not always the perfect way to provide your partner oral
satisfaction. Inadvertently one of you will "let up" your end of the
cocksucking in order to experience the subtle pleasures the other
partner is giving you. For this reason I have included it as the final
lesson. Many people think that the deep throat technique is the ultimate
pleasure you can give your partner. Actually I believe that sixty-nine
is the ultimate pleasure.

Done correctly and unselfishly when both of you are completely in tune
with each others innermost desires, the sixty nine is the ultimate. But
because of the problem mentioned earlier in this lesson, most people
practice it too early and it becomes an intensely satisfying experience
for one partner at the expense of the other. When you are completely on
each other's wavelength you will discover that this is the most
effective way of giving as well as receiving pleasure.

The element that must be in place is simple: Both of you must be
consummate cocksuckers! If you have a partner who is not in the least
interested in giving head and only likes to receive it then to attempt
sixty-nine is to ask for unhappiness in your relationship.

TECHNIQUES

As editor of FRENCH CUISINE MAGAZINE I sometimes send out questionnaires
to our members to find out more. I question them about their desires,
and their favorite ways to practice safe and sane oral sex Here are some
of the most popular variations on cocksucking.

THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER

The best position for this very sensuous cocksucking movement is
kneeling over your partner. If he is on his back kneel between his legs.
Or kneel in front of your partner while he stands. I like this position
because the cock feels thicker in your mouth and throat and you have
complete freedom to play with his balls while performing this maneuver.

This technique was first introduced to me by a cocksucker in northern
California. There was a notorious movie theater in downtown San
Francisco with a darkened balcony. A cocksucker's haven. And this guy
had us lined up. You knew from the moans emanating from the guy's
throat who was getting his cock sucked that this guy was that one in a
thousand who knew how to please a variety of fresh cockmeat. It felt so
good that I studied him closely while he was sucking cock. Not only did
I observe the guys who were getting the radical suck, but I got down
close to the cock and observed how he was maneuvering around it. He
created the basic vacuum pressure on the cock but only enough pressure
to pull the cock into his mouth ever so slightly.

With his lips firmly wrapped around the guy's big swollen cock head and
shaft he would gently flick the tip of the cock with his tongue. With
his lips open around the cock at a depth so that he could touch the tip
of the cock with the tip of his tongue. With his lips around the cock
shaft he would make an up and down movement with his tongue. He would
flutter his tongue up and down the tip of the cock.

I recommend you try it. It will drive your Butterfly Flutter partner
back into your mouth at any hour you want him there. After several
minutes of this continue with the basic vacuum suck.

THE TRAVELING FIGURE EIGHT

After you have become comfortable with the basic vacuum suck and you
have become accustomed to his cock deep in your mouth and throat try
this action. It is guaranteed to take his breath away. With your lips
firmly wrapped around the cock shaft try very slowly to reach the base
of the shaft or as close to it as you are comfortable. Your nose should
be buried in or at least touching the pubic hairs at the base of the
cock.

With your nose trace a figure eight as if the figure eight were lying on
it's side. Your figure eight motion should be three to four inches
long. Slowly travel up the shaft of the cock to the head, doing the
figure eight motion. Keep doing this motion and let your lips firmly
travel up and down the cock shaft. Do this for as long as you are
comfortable with it. Believe me your man is floating in orbit as his
wildest dreams of the ultimate blow job are coming true.

I give credit for this most erogenous technique to a member of "The
Cocksuckers Club of America" who lives in Oregon. He and his partner
were on vacation down in Southern California and they visited me while
here. After seeing him scrape his partner off the ceiling when he did
the Traveling Figure Eight, I rushed right into my bedroom and perfected
it on my own partner! When you get tired of the movement slow down and
return to the basic vacuum suck.

By this time you are becoming more and more confident with your partner.
His cock feels great as it fills your mouth and throat. The cock is
becoming harder and warmer as your warm moist mouth and throat create
friction by going up and down that big beautiful cock. It is time to
cool his tool just a little with this technique.

I take full credit for this one myself! From tho time I hit puberty I
was fascinated by cocks. Big ones, little ones, cut ones, uncut ones,
crooked ones, straight ones. All shapes, all sizes. I wanted to feel
them down my throat! Combine this very basic love of cocksucking with an
inherent fear of not being able to take cock and completely satisfy the
customer and you can imagine how I felt. I needed a technique that would
feel good in my mouth and would feel good for my partner. Here's what I
came up with:

Go down on the cock shaft as far as you are comfortable. All the while
your lips should be firmly wrapped around the shaft. Open your mouth as
wide as you can and suck in as much air as your lungs will hold. While
sucking in air let your open mouth travel up to the cock head. Your up
stroke motion should end at the head of his cock just as your lungs fill
with air. Now with your mouth still open let the air in your lungs out
slowly through your mouth as your opened mouth travels back down the
cock shaft. This technique cools the cock on the up stoke and warms the
cock with your hot breath on the down stroke. Do this movement as long
as you like then return to the basic vacuum suck method.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are doing just fine and he loves it! Keep it up as long as you are
comfortable with it. For his added pleasure and to give you something to
play with reach up and fondle his balls. Or go up even further and play
with his nipples. This will give him something else to concentrated on
so he doesn't pop his cock yet. If you feel he is about to cum stop
what you are doing and let him cool off for a few minutes. After all
you are having fun and you want to enjoy his cock as much as you can
until you get tired of it. Then let him pop his cock! But not yet. He
likes it too much and he wants it to last as long as you can keep it
going.

THE CIRCLE

Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips
around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will
slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle
motion. Watch your teeth on this one.

A kneeling position will suffice but it is also effective when your
partner is on his back and your head is directly over his cock. The
circle should be executed in both clockwise and counterclockwise motions
in a slow purposeful manner.

THE LOLLIPOP LICK

With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in
front lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue find the
underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your wet tongue,
lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is permissible
to use your hands in this technique. It is better to do this technique
several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or ice cream cone.

Blowjob (Fellatio) Tutorial: Lessons 1-8

2009-10-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about the "basic penis." I regard oral sex as the highest
form of expression of love that can be exchanged between two people.
Hopefully this information will help you to break down any barriers
which you might have that would prevent you from expressing your love in
this way and from receiving a reciprocation from your male companion.

First things first. LOOK at the cock. I do not mean a cursory glance
not a hurried, surreptitious examination. Take enough time that you
convince your companion that some kind of treat is in store for him
provided he will allow you to do with him, and particularly with his
cock, exactly what you want.

Place him flat on his back on your bed, in a well lighted room. Take his
cock in your hand and LOOK at it. He probably will not have the will
power to stay soft, but then again you are worshipping his very essence.
Few men can stay soft under these circumstances, when it is apparent
that the person LOOKING at his cock is worshipping.

When you first start to touch him, his cock will become hard and be in a
state where your examination will be meaningful. Wouldn't it be nice if
going to the doctor for an examination was as enriching?

The cock must be hard if you are to be able to note the important
parts-those parts sensitive to stimulation by your lips and tongue.

The first thing you will note is whether or not he is circumcised.
Circumcision is not universally practiced: there are advantages and
disadvantages to penises in both conditions from the standpoint of
providing oral caresses that bring the highest kind of delight to your
man.

Next take a close look at the shaft of the penis itself. There is a
bulbous part of the organ near the outer end, slightly larger in
diameter than the shaft, which is often called the head. Technically
this is the glans penis (comes from the Latin glans which means acorn.
Look at it closely; does kind of look like an acorn doesn't it?)

The outside perimeter of the glans penis is the corona. This joins the
head to the shaft. This is the most sensitive spot on the penis. It is
toward this ridge that you will direct most of your attention when you
are giving head. Follow this ridge around to the underside of the
penis. You know that I like to call it the underbelly. I am particularly
fond of the underbelly!

You will notice a point of juncture where the two ends of this irregular
circle come together. If your partner is not circumcised, this will also
be the point where the foreskin is attached. This tiny area is easily
the most sensitive spot on his entire body, and it is possible to bring
your partner to climax simply by gently tapping the tip of your tongue
directly on it. Spend time caressing the glans and those areas
immediately surrounding it.

Beneath the glans is the shaft of the penis. The shaft does not have
many nerve endings and does not, therefore, provide a man with any high
degree of stimulation when caressed either manually or with your tongue
to the exclusion of the glans penis itself. It always amazes me to note
the number of confirmed cocksuckers who believe that sucking up and down
on the shaft will get the guy off. That's not it folks! If it works it
is because the back of your throat is playing tricks on his glans penis.
Your throat is giving head to his head!

Beneath the shaft are the testicles (balls, jewels, call them what you
like, but let's not ignore their significance). The testicles are
extremely sensitive to pain and are not usually considered subject to
erotic stimulation to any particular degree. Not true! You can add a
high degree of pleasure for him by paying the right kind of attention to
the balls!

Now lets go back to the shaft of the matter. The opening in the tip of
the glans penis is the meatus. Here is where the cum spurts. (I could
have said semen is ejaculated but I did not want to sound too
professional).

There are other parts of a man's body which respond with alacrity to
oral stimulation.

Many men are particularly sensitive around the nipples. The first time I
kissed my partner's nipples he shot before I had the chance to even get
near his cock. While I have not been able to duplicate this in the
laboratory setting (he hates to go near the lab with me) my partner
still gets extremely turned on by my lingual nipple caresses.

So LOOK at your partner's penis. Study it. Learn its areas of special
sensitivity completely and be ready to apply your knowledge to his body
with your tongue and with your lips when you bend your loving head over
his cock. There is nothing that you can do which more clearly shows your
love for him than the worship you can provide his cock!

LESSON TWO

The sad fact is that most people, men and women, do not have the
slightest idea of how to suck cock. Most seem to think that simply by
making a cunt of their mouth, closing it around a man's penis, and
bobbing their heads lustily up and down until he climaxes automatically
makes them expert cocksuckers. Au contraire!

Consummate skill is required to suck a man's cock and provide him with
the highest degree of pleasure possible. When I first started my quest
I really had no one to turn to for advise and counsel. It was all hunt
and suck. Hunt and suck. Find that one technique that could and would
set him on fire! I had to learn from my experiences and while I would
not want to deny you the innate pleasure that these experiences will
bring I would hate to see you lose a great companion because of your
inexperience and lack of expertise.

Let's assume that you have taken that opportunity to LOOK at his penis.
To explore each area of the penis to find the most sensitive parts. That
you have gotten beyond "Parts is parts" and recognize that some parts
are more equal than others.

In order for you to observe your man's reactions and get the most
information possible about his responses try the following:

While his erect penis points toward the ceiling, cup his balls in one
hand and gently, using only your tongue, lick softly, but carefully
along the entire underside of his erect organ. As you suck along the
underbelly you will learn those areas that give him the greatest
pleasure when your tongue is touching them. Unless he is made of stone,
your partner will provide you with vivid clues as to which areas are
most pleasurable.

As you discover these areas of enhanced pleasure concentrate on them.
For most men the most sensitive area will be the point where the ring
(or corona) of the head and the foreskin are attached. Or were attached
prior to his circumcision. By continued licking and tapping along this
area with your tongue you are going to bring forth a geyser. If you are
not skilled and you want to please him in a hurry I suggest that you get
him off in this manner in order to become familiar at first hand with
the nature and delight of his climax.

As he is getting ready for climax you will note changes in his penis.
These signs will be the same every time he climaxes so that you can
prepare for his cum properly. The head of the cock may swell somewhat
larger then it is during the normal course of his erection. He may
thrust his hips forward as he wants to send his body hurtling out his
cock with his cum. And for most men, immediately prior to the cum, there
will appear at the tiny, lovely lips at the tip of the cock a clear drop
or two of fluid. When you see this or feel the opening at the meateus
through his condom you know that the moment of truth is at hand. Launch
the torpedoes, full cum ahead!

Where should you be when you are sucking his cock? Between his legs, on
top of him, in a sixty nine position? Where? Because of the structure
of his penis, as well as the structure of your mouth, lips, tongue, and
teeth, you can provide the highest degree of sensation to yourself and
your partner by kneeling between his legs and approaching his cock from
the bottom rather than from the side or the top. Don't believe me? Try
the various positions (I describe in later chapters techniques to be
used with each position). See what works best for you and your partner.

LESSON THREE

Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips
around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will
slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle
motion. Watch your teeth on this one. A kneeling position will suffice
but it is also effective when your partner is on his back and your head
is directly over his cock. The circle should be executed in both
clockwise and counterclockwise motions in a slow purposeful manner. I
found many guys in New York who seem to prefer this technique above all
others. I met one guy who could circle a cock for hours and I found
myself having multiple orgasms while his mouth circled my cock. I didn't
lose my hard-on after each cum. When the technique is performed
correctly it means many hours of unadulterated pleasure.

LESSON FOUR

With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in
front of him lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue
find the underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your
wet tongue, lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is
permissible to use your hands in this technique. It is bettor to do
this technique several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or
ice cream cone. I grew up down south. And one thing about.southern boys.
We learn early how to get if off quickly when the need is there. And the
lollipop lick is the one technique in this book which few men can
tolerate for long periods of time without cumming.

LESSON FIVE

Right now lets discuss a technique that is probably the most common
cocksucking technique in the world. Take his cock in your mouth but not
deeply. We will get to deep throating later on. It's great, not
over-rated, but if you want to be an expert at deep throat start with
the right techniques and work your way down, so to speak.

Take his cock in your mouth by sliding your moistened tongue lovingly
over the head until your lips close around the shaft at the point just
behind the corona. Don't just open your mouth and close it around his
cock. Slide it in. He will enjoy it much more. Encase the shaft of his
penis with your hand. Remember the shaft is relatively insensitive to
any kind of stimulation. By enclosing his penis with your hand you give
him the sensation of having his penis encased.

Now you have several options. Try twisting your head from side to side
making sure your moist lips stay in contact with the coronal ridge.
While doing this gently move your hand up and down the shaft. When he
climaxes he may want to push your head further down the shaft of his
penis. He wants to envelop you with his cock. As you are learning his
climax you will miss the fine points if you deep throat at this time.
Instead gently suck around the corona as he climaxes so that you can
intensify his pleasure and increase the force of his orgasm.

As you gain more experience you will be able to tell exactly when his
climax is approaching and you will be ready for that initial spurt out
the rubber.

LESSON SIX

There is one further refinement to this basic technique which will
heighten his orgasm. If you place your thumb at the very base of the
penis in such a way as to block the tube through which the cum spurts,
the semen cannot escape even though he is spasming and going through the
reflex action of ejaculating semen.

If at the same time you suck vigorously on the head of his cock you can
delay his cum for several long moments. When you finally allow the cum
to spurt it will last much longer and be just as intense as a result.
Even though you delay the cum for only a few short moments you will be
surprised by the intensity of his cum.

These techniques are the basis of cocksucking. Do not go beyond them
until you have become an expert, not only in the techniques themselves,
but also in the reading and interpreting of your partner's responses to
such a point that you know exactly how he is getting off on what you are
doing. When you have reached this point, you are ready for the more
subtle, more advanced techniques.

Don't be so slavish that you miss out on the fun of self discovery. Find
out what works for you and for your partner and make your cocksucking as
individual as your signature. After all, you want your man to pick you
out in the dark among hundred slobbering cocksuckers.

LESSON SEVEN

One of the first things you encountered when you first started to suck
cock was a gag reflex. Most men seem to want to force their cocks down
your throat as far as they can get it. Particularly at the moment when
they cum!

Consider for a moment that the average length of your oral cavity is
three to three and a half inches while the average Caucasian cock length
is five to five and a half inches. The laws of nature would seem to
dictate that getting all that cock into your mouth is an impossibility.

It can be done. You probably know someone who can do it and that is why
you purchased this book to begin with. It is possible to master the
necessary technique. I don't want to be boring, but if you understand
your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that allow
you to take his hard cock into your mouth and down your throat. The
biggest obstacle to taking all of his cock down your throat is the fact
that there is a bend of almost ninety degrees behind your tongue leading
down into your throat. So the first thing to do is get the cock past
that angle.

Get past the angle of the dangle!

In order to practice this, get in a position where you can turn your
head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight
line. The best position to accomplish this is to lie on a bed so that
your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so
that your head is tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth
and throat nearly in a line and will allow your partner to approach you
in such a way that insertion of his cock can be made so deeply that his
pubic hair presses against your lips.

LESSON EIGHT

Today we will practice mastering physical reaction that must be
alleviated before the art of deep penetration can fully be enjoyed. The
natural tendency of the body to gag when a foreign object such as a
deeply thrusting cock being forced down your throat. You can overcome
this tendency by completely relaxing your throat at moment the insertion
is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation
during the entire deep throating.

Let him put his cock down your throat and hold it still while you find
the most comfortable way to proceed. Because of your position you will
not be able to move or to offer him any greater stimulation than simply
keeping your mouth tightly closed around his throbbing cock. If you are
able try to stimulate his underbelly with your tongue, do it!

You will only be able to relax and take his cock in this way if you
completely thrust your partner. Your partner is in full control. He
must initiate and maintain all the motion. This is the only exercise in
which you relinquish your control of the situation to your partner. He
will relish this for the simple fact that for the first time he can
insert his cock as deeply down your throat as he wants to. Now your
partner begins an in and out movement that is just like fucking. He
should start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience
for the two of you. After all if he hurts you he cuts himself off from
one of the great pleasures in life. His only other requirement during
this exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout
this oral exercise as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the
motion from side to side.

One other word of caution.

Don't let your partner get carried away at the moment he starts to cum.
At that spectacular moment he will be able for the first time to thrust
his cock all the way inside your oral cavity and that is the most
important lesson of this exercise! His only other requirement during
the exercise is to keep the motion in the same against your lips as he
cums. Because of your position in bed you will not be faced with the
problem of swallowing his cum. And this is not just because he has a
condom on his dick. The reason is because he has gotten his cock BEYOND
your gag reflex! Without the rubber his cum would shoot directly into
your stomach! If both you and your partner understand what it is that
you are trying to do as well as the possible problems that may "cum" up
along the way no harm or discomfort will happen to either of you.

It is possible that not everyone will learn the "deep throat" technique
but this inability does not make you any less a cocksucker. You must
allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is thrusting
his cock this deeply down your throat. To do this long enough for your
partner to completely get it off is very difficult and may require
practice beyond this day. It may be that you will be able to take your
partner completely down your throat, but you will not be able to
maintain proper relaxation of your throat to until he shoots his load.
Hopefully your partner will understand that this is not a rejection of
him or of what he is offering you, and it is my sincere desire that you
not stop here and think that you will never master the "deep throat"
technique.

Continue to practice this lesson. I know couples who have devoted ten
months to this lesson alone. Continue to practice this technique
because your practice will allow you to take his cock deeper into your
throat each time and for longer periods of time. Ultimately you will
succeed. If you have the desire you will get this one down pat!

Q & A: "I noticed some small bumps on my penis. Could these be genital warts?"

2009-10-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

I noticed some small bumps on my penis. Could these be
genital warts? If so do I need to do anything about them?

Genital warts are also known as venereal warts, or
condyloma acuminatum. They are a type of wart that look
like those found anywhere else on the body, but that only occur
in the genital area. They are caused by a virus, and transmitted
by direct "skin-to-skin" sexual contact. Once acquired, the virus
cannot be cured, but the warts themselves come and go. They
typically affect the areas of the vulva, vagina, rectum, and
cervix in women, and the penis, scrotum, and rectum in men. You
should see a health professional to determine whether your bumps
are warts, or something else.

By and large, genital warts are considered more of a nuisance
than a major health problem. Nonetheless, there is evidence that
the virus increases a woman's risk for cervical cancer. Women
should take extra care to obtain annual pap smears for cervical
cancer screening.

There are a variety of local treatments that will remove the
warts, but as with any other wart, the virus remains in your
body. These treatments are available from gynecologists,
dermatologists, and some primary care practitioners. Do not use
over-the-counter remedies for these types of warts.

Removal of the warts, and the use of condoms, will reduce your
chances of giving genital warts to an uninfected person, but are
not fool-proof as small, barely perceptible warts on genital
areas not shielded by the condom, could potentially transmit the
virus.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "I don't have to worry about catching herpes if he has no sores at the time we have sex"

2009-10-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend says he once had an attack of genital
herpes, but that I don't have to worry about catching it if he
has no sores at the time we have sex. Is he right?

Not exactly. Genital herpes (usually caused by the virus
herpes simplex type) is transmitted through vaginal and
anal intercourse. Most frequently, there are multiple painful or
burning sores involving the vagina, labia, vulva, or rectum in
women, and the penis, rectum, or area at the base of the penis in
men. The sores will go away, but as the virus remains dormant in
your body, sores may reappear months or years later. If you or
your partner have herpes sores at the time of sexual contact it
is very contagious.

Unfortunately, genital herpes is not curable. Therefore, once
you've had an initial outbreak, there is the possibility of
transmitting the disease. This is true even if you have no
visible sores. The reason for this is that a carrier of herpes
begins to shed the virus (meaning you're contagious) just before
an outbreak occurs -- in other words, while you feel fine, or
when you first begin to feel a burning or itching sensation, and
before there are any visible sores. The frequency with which you
can get herpes from someone who has the virus and is completely
asymptomatic is not known, but probably relatively low.

The best thing to do is to always use a condom, and if sores are
present, avoid sex altogether. Remember that just the physical
contact between the vulva and the base of the penis while using a
condom can transmit herpes. The Reality female condom protects
those areas somewhat better.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "What is the maximum length of time HIV can remain infectious in a bodily fluid which has been deposited on a surface"

2009-10-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

What is the maximum length of time HIV can remain
infectious in a bodily fluid which has been deposited on a
surface (like a floor or table or whatever)?
-- RI

When left on an open surface, HIV actually remains
infectious for a relatively short period of time. In most
cases, the virus is no longer viable after a couple of hours.
Transmission from such a surface (be it a toilet seat,
counter-top, bed sheets, etc.) would also require movement of the
virus through either a mucous membrane (such as the eye or mouth)
or a break in the skin of any kind. Therefore, except in very
unusual circumstances, you will not catch HIV from casual contact
with public toilets, counter tops, or other such surfaces.

Be aware, however, that materials or secretions that are newly
contaminated with the virus may be more or less transmissable
depending on the concentration of the virus, and how much of an
exposure occurs. For example, fresh semen containing the HIV
virus, when rubbed on fingers with no rashes or breaks in the
skin does not seem to be a problem; whereas if the finger touches
and heavily contaminates the eye, or if the finger has a cut or
open abrasion, and especially if the semen was contaminated with
high concentrations of HIV, transmission is possible.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Why is it that you have to wait for three month after you have intercourse with somebody to be tested?"

2009-10-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have a few questions about HIV. Why is it that you have
to wait for three month after you have intercourse with somebody
to be tested? I had sex about two months ago with a person who I
do not really know much about and I am a little scared of HIV and
AIDS. I did use a condom but I don't know. One more question, if
you are HIV positive, does that mean you will die soon?

At first, after the HIV virus has entered your body, you
will test negative for HIV. That is because the standard
screening blood test detects antibodies you make to fight off the
HIV infection, and not the HIV virus itself. Those antibodies
take a while to form, and when they do, it is called
"seroconversion." In the case of HIV, we need to wait
approximately six months after your last contact with HIV to see
if you have seroconverted. Ninety-nine percent of people who are
going to convert will do so by then. Many people will convert
sooner (up to 95% at three months). To be able to confidently
reassure someone that they did not pick up HIV it is best to wait
the six months, although there may be situations where testing at
both three and six months make sense.

It's great you used a condom. If you have any questions about
using them correctly check out Contraception Contemplation.
Prevention of AIDS is only possible by preventing HIV
transmission.

Your last question is a difficult one. For someone who is
infected with the HIV virus, they can often look forward to many
years of good health. As you know, that can change with time, and
there is still no cure for the disease. However, there have been
small numbers of people reported who have "beat the odds." By
living much longer than expected, these people may ultimately
help show the way to long-term survival.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Once you have had unprotected sex with someone, is there any point in using condoms with that person later?"

2009-10-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Once you have had unprotected sex with someone, is there
any point in using condoms with that person later? I mean for the
purposes of avoiding transmitting AIDS, I'm on the pill, so I'm
not really worried about getting pregnant.

I would advise using condoms in future contacts, even if
you have had sex without a condom before with that
person. You will not always be infected with the AIDS virus every
time you have unprotected sexual exposure. The more times you
have contact with the virus, the more likely you are to be
infected by it. So getting away with it once, does not
necessarily mean getting away with it a second time.

If you are considering getting tested for exposure to the AIDS
virus, remember that it may take up to six months for your blood
test to become positive after exposure. Therefore if you had
exposure to the virus today, you might not have a positive test
until six months from now.

You also point out one of the drawbacks to using the pill -- it's
a great contraceptive, but it does not protect you against STD's.

-- S. Yates

Q & A: "Is there evidence that condoms which are lubricated with spermicide are any better at preventing pregnancy than condoms which are not?"

2009-10-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Q. A contraceptive "failure" rate of ~12% per year has been
cited for couples using condoms alone. For this reason, use of an
additional method (spermicide, diaphragm, etc.) has been
recommended in addition to condoms. Is there evidence that
condoms which are lubricated with spermicide are any better at
preventing pregnancy than condoms which are not? Is the use of a
back-up method still recommended/necessary?
-- JE

A. The contraceptive failure rate for condoms that you
quoted is consistent with what we know. And it is true
that when a spermicidal foam or jelly is used for lubrication (as
opposed to a simple lubricant such as K-Y Jelly and others) that
the risk of pregnancy is even less. Some data suggest the
contraceptive effectiveness rises to about 96% when both are
used.

In addition, there is some evidence that contraceptive foams or
jellies may also reduce the transmission of infectious organisms
such as HIV, chlamydia, herpes simplex, and possibly the human
papillomavirus (the cause of venereal warts). This is an
unintended (and unreliable) but fortunate benefit.

If condoms are your main source of contraception, the addition of
spermicidal foam or jelly will decrease your risk of unintended
pregnancy.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "pill increases my chances of having a stroke"

2009-10-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

Q. Last month I started taking the pill. But I just read
recently that the pill increases my chances of having a stroke.
This scares me, what should I do?

A. Generally considered very safe and effective, oral
contraceptives (birth control pills) contain hormones
that suppress ovulation. Like any other drug, these hormones have
the potential for side-effects ranging from weight gain and
breast tenderness, to more serious problems related to blood
clotting such as stroke, phlebitis, or heart attacks.
Fortunately, the incidence of many of these side-effects have
been reduced over the years through the use of lower doses of
estrogens. Most women today take no more than 35 ug of estrogen
per day, compared to 50 ug two decades ago when studies showed
increased risks for these events. Consequently, your healthcare
provider will usually prescribe the lowest dose of estrogen that
will work to keep you from becoming pregnant. Today, unless there
are other medical conditions present, most doctors believe that
there is little increase in blood clotting problems among young,
nonsmoking women who use the pill.

There are subgroups of women who tend to have higher risks for
clotting problems. They are smokers, women over the age of 35 or
40, and women who have been on the pill for many years (e.g. 10
or more).

The pill is about the most effective form of contraception, short
of abstinence. But remember that you are putting additional
hormones into your body. When considering going on the pill, be
sure you have carefully discussed your personal health risks with
your healthcare provider, and have all your questions answered.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Could you descibe any side effects that could result from using an intrauterine device (IUD)?"

2009-10-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

Could you descibe any side effects that could result from
using an IUD?

The IUD, or intrauterine device, is a small object made
in a variety of shapes and materials, which is inserted
into a woman's uterus in order to prevent pregnancy. It is
believed to work by causing an inflammatory reaction of the
uterine lining and thereby preventing implantation of the egg.
Through the many years (well over 20) of its existence, the IUD
has been widely used and accepted as a viable method of
contraception with an efficacy of 97 - 98%, but there are a few
risks associated with its use.

At the time of insertion, there is a risk of developing pelvic
inflammatory disease (a serious infection involving the female
reproductive system). This risk remains present after insertion
but diminishes significantly after the initial procedure. Studies
are underway now to assess the possible association of IUDs with
increased risk of HIV transmission, but there are no definite
answers available yet.

A significant number of women experience increased menstrual pain
with an IUD in place. About 10 - 15% will have their IUD removed
due to symptoms associated with abnormal bleeding.

Pregnancy and IUDs do not mix well. If an accidental pregnancy
does occur with an IUD present, approximately 50% of otherwise
normal pregnancies will end in miscarriage. In addition, five
percent of women who become pregnant with an IUD in place will
have an ectopic ( tubal) pregnancy.

It is important to keep in mind that an IUD does offer effective
protection against getting pregnant, but it offers no protection
against sexually transmitted diseases.

-- C. Ebelke

Q & A: "what the possibility of a reversal vasectomy"

2009-10-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

Q. I am interested in a man who has had a vasectomy. It is
too early to discuss the children thing, but I am wondering what
the possibility of a reversal is. He is 44 and in good health. He
had the operation between 10 and 12 years ago.

A. Once several years have past since a vasectomy, the
chances of being able to conceive by surgically
re-connecting the tube that carries the sperm from the testicles
is minimal. From a surgical point of view it is technically
feasible, but after the duct has been blocked for so long, the
testicles simply stop producing sperm in sufficient numbers to be
able to conceive.

However, in the past couple of years, progress has been made with
a procedure called intracytoplasmic sperm injection ("ICSI") done
in some fertility clinics. In this procedure, sperm can be
aspirated by needle, or by obtaining a piece of sperm-producing
tissue, and in the laboratory, one sperm is injected into one egg
which is then implanted in the mother. This technique, while
expensive, could be considered. Keep in mind that it is no where
near 100 percent successful, but it can be repeated if necessary.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "I should be completely off the pill for six months before trying"

2009-10-29T13:20:00.000-07:00

Q. I'm 28 and have been on the pill for 12 years. We are
thinking about having children in the next two years. Some say I
should be completely off the pill for six months before trying.
Others said it doesn't matter, I can get off the pill and get
pregnant right away. Who is right?

A. Contrary to your friend's advise, it is not necessary to
be off the pill for an extended period of time before
attempting pregnancy. There is no increased risk of birth defects
or other problems if you concieve right after stopping the pill.
I usually advise allowing one normal period after discontinuing
the pill, to allow your menstral cycle to return to its usual
pattern, and then try for pregnancy. This makes it easier to know
when your fertile time is in the cycle, and makes for more
accruate calculation of your due date when pregnant. Good luck!

-- S. Yates

Q & A: "we would like to have sex without a condom"

2009-10-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Q. I've recently started a relationship with an AIDS-free
woman and we would like to have sex without a condom. I've
forgotten everything I learned in freshmen health class about a
woman's period and pregnancy risk. Can a women get pregnant while
she has her period? How many days after her period ends can we
have unprotected sex without fear of pregnancy.
-- KW

A. A woman ovulates 14 days prior to when her period begins.
Therefore, her most fertile time of the cycle is a few
days before and after ovulation. The difficulty with using rhythm
or calendar methods of contraception is that any woman can vary
from month to month in the timing between onset of the period and
when she next ovulates. This is why women's menstral cycles can
vary from between 21 and 40 days, or more. A woman with a 21-day
cycle will be fertile during her period, and a woman with a
42-day cycle will be fertile one month after her period began.

Therefore, I would advise always using a contraceptive. Unless
you can be absolutely sure that you are, and will be, in a
monogamous relationship, I would advise using a condom along with
a contraceptive cream, foam or suppository in the woman's vagina.
Using a Nonoxyl-9 containing spermicide with the condom
significantly reduces the risk of pregnancy in case of condom
leakage, breakage, or slippage. Remember that AIDS is not the
only sexually transmitted disease, and that condom use protects
against transmission of all STD's.

-- S. Yates

Q & A: "Is masturbating good for you? "

2009-10-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

Q. Is masturbating good for you?

A. For many people masturbation is an enjoyable way of
playing out sexual fantasies, releasing sexual tension,
and becoming more comfortable with their own sexuality. For some
people, masturbation is a part of the enjoyment of sex when
shared with their partner(s). For others, it may help curb
impulses to have sex with someone that might later be regretted.

These aspects of masturbation may be good for your health
psychologically and emotionally (and certainly it is healthy to
be free of guilt or fear just because you masturbate). But there
are otherwise no physical benefits to your health from
masturbation.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "I DO have mono, what kind of contact can we continue to have?"

2009-10-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

I've been told I may have mono and am in the process of
having my blood checked but have been told it may not be positive
yet because I haven't been sick long enough. I have a boyfriend
and am wondering if I DO have mono, what kind of contact can we
continue to have? Because the disease is spread through saliva
(the throat), is there any risk in oral/genital contact?

Mono, or infectious mononucleosis, is a viral infection
caused by the Epstein Barr virus (EBV), with symptoms
that typically include sore throat, fever, enlarged lymph nodes
in the neck, and marked fatigue. The disease is known to be very
contagious. In fact it has long been known as the "kissing
disease" because of it's tendency to be transmitted by kissing.
The virus is found in all body fluids, however, and can be
transmitted by oral-genital contact.

Fortunately, most people recover without any problem. Many people
are exposed and become immune to mono as children, and are
thereby protected from getting the disease later in life. The
blood test for mono takes five to seven days to turn positive
because it measures antibody activity in the infected persons
blood which takes a few days to develop. Generally speaking, you
can resume intimate contact within a couple of weeks, once the
fever is gone and the symptoms are significantly improved.

--R. Durning

Q & A: "For the past 5 years I have had NO sexual desire whatsoever"

2009-10-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

For the past 5 years I have had NO sexual desire
whatsoever. My husband is as interested as he always was, but we
have both gained a great deal of weight. How can I restore these
sexual feelings?

You ask an important and difficult question. Sexual
desire, as most everyone knows, is influenced by many
different things. And it's not hard to have it go wrong. The
feelings you have for your mate, the circumstances of your
surroundings, feelings about oneself, past experiences with sex,
and many other factors may influence your desire.

For starters, I think it is helpful to acknowledge that because
of the cultural milieu in most parts of the western world,
someone without strong sexual energies may feel like there must
be something wrong. This is not necessarily true, although there
may be problems working that out with a mate. In addition, if sex
with your partner was never very much fun, or didn't give the
intimacy desired, or if abuse ever occurred in the past; if sex
became routine or boring from lack of imagination, or too focused
on getting an orgasm, if work leaves you exhausted, if there is
unresolved tension or anger in the relationship, if you have any
physical problems of discomfort during sex, or feelings of
depression, even side-effects to medicines, these too may have an
impact. Being overweight does not necessarily mean a loss of
sexual desire, although it certainly could affect your feelings
of attraction.

Those of you who are parents may understand how difficult it is
to feel uninhibited about sex with children in the house. Then
again, how much time is spent seducing our lovers? Are dining,
lighting, music, sense of privacy, the physical surroundings,
conducive to love-making? Is there talk of love, sharing of
feelings, something more than the physical act of sexual play to
arouse interest.

We could go on for some time. One suggestion would be to regard a
lack of sexual desire not so much as a problem to get rid of, but
as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, your relationship
with your partner, and your sexual life.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "is it possible for a doctor to tell if I have had anal sex"

2009-10-29T13:15:00.001-07:00

This may be foolish, but is it possible for a doctor to
tell if I have had anal sex, just by me receiving a regular
physical? I have avoided physicals for some time due to this
fear. Thanks for your time.
-- DM

As long as you have no problems with the rectal area,
such as pain, bleeding, discharge, or diarrhea, then a
physician, or anyone else for that matter, will be unable to tell
if you have had anal sex. (Of course, even if you have these
symptoms, they may be due to a number of other medical conditions
besides anal sex.) If you have experienced some trauma during
intercourse, an abrasion or fissure may result, and that would be
apparent to someone examining the area. But you would certainly
be aware of soreness, or even bleeding from the anus, so it
should not come as a surprise. Lubrication, of course, will help
to prevent this.

Unhappily, many people do feel threatened or intimidated when
they go to the doctor's. Just thinking about it can bring on a
cold sweat. That is unfortunate. Why shouldn't a person be able
to talk about their sexual preferences? And why should it be so
difficult to reveal an aspect of one's sexuality without fear of
stigmatization or condemnation? Whatever you reveal about
yourself within the confines of a doctor's office should always
be held confidential. And keep in mind that doctors routinely see
all kinds of different people, lifestyles, and habits. After a
while, there aren't too many surprises. Take your time in getting
comfortable with a physician. As in any other relationship, trust
develops over time.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Can a doctor tell whether you've had a miscarriage? "

2009-10-29T13:14:00.001-07:00

No they cannot. According to Dr. Yates, Tripod's ob-gyn
consultant, there are no scars or changes detectable
after a routine miscarriage or properly performed abortion. A
doctor performing a routine pelvic examination will have no idea
whether or not you have been previously pregnant.

On the other hand, for a woman who has had a full-term pregnancy
and delivered the baby, there may be changes in the appearance of
the uterine cervix, scars in the perineum (the area between the
vaginal opening and the anus), or stretch marks on the abdomen,
that will provide clues to a previous pregnancy.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "chances are of getting the AIDS virus when performing oral sex on a woman"

2009-10-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

Q. I was wondering what the chances are of
getting the AIDS virus when performing oral sex on a woman. If
there is a risk, what can I do to protect myself? And -- if you
kiss a person with herpes can you get the virus in your system?
How about if you give oral sex to a person with herpes, can that
bring it into your system?

Can you pick up HIV or herpes from oral sex? The simple
answer is yes. It is possible. But here are some things
to keep in mind.

A. HIV is present in the semen of men who have AIDS or who are HIV
positive. When ejaculate is taken into the mouth, there is the
potential for the virus to enter into even normal mucosal cells
lining the mouth, resulting in infection. If there is any break
in the normal mucosa, whether it is from a cold sore, inflamed
gums, cracked lips, or any other lesion, the likelihood of
transmission increases. Pre-ejaculate fluid is also technically
capable of transmitting infection.

Vaginal fluids of a woman with AIDS, or who is HIV positive, also
contain HIV. Therefore, oral sex with a woman can result in
transmission of the virus. If any menstrual blood is present in
the vaginal fluid, this too can be a route of transmission.

Herpes is a little bit different in that most times an active
herpes sore must be present for transmission to occur. Check out
a previous herpes question for more information and an important
qualifier to this. Although one type of herpes tends to be found
in the mouth, and another type in the genitals, the symptoms are
indistinguishable. During oral sex, genital herpes may be
transmitted to the mouth, and oral herpes may be transmitted to
the genitals. It is perfectly safe, however, to kiss a person
with active genital herpes on the lips or mouth.

Since neither HIV nor herpes can be cured, the usual advice is to
use some type of barrier prevention. With men, using a condom
during oral sex protects both parties. You may want to experiment
with different styles, colors, flavors, or other different types
of condoms, to compensate for the loss of touch or intimacy that
might otherwise be experienced. For oral sex with a woman, use of
a layer of plastic wrap, or a dental dam, over the vaginal area
will provide protection. It does seem a bit sterile or
off-putting to use these barriers, but at this time there are not
too many other reasonable alternatives.

If the virus is present in semen and vaginal fluid, how likely is
transmission during oral sex in the real world? It's impossible
to predict. Factors such as where you live, who you hook up with,
what you do, and a dozen other variables would have to be
considered. The human mind, being uncomfortable with more than a
few variables at once, and being driven at times by sexual
desire, cannot, and does not want to, think this all through in
the heat of the moment. There are many reports of people who have
contracted AIDS whose only reported risk factor is receiving oral
sex from a man. Could it happen with one encounter? Yes. Does the
risk increase with multiple encounters? Possibly. Each encounter
can be viewed as a flip of the coin. You either get infected, or
you don't. With HIV, there are few if any "mild" infections. The
odds of progression to AIDS, and eventually to death, is very
high. So it's an all-or-none game.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "The odds of progression to AIDS, and eventually to death, is very high"

2009-10-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, you wrote "With HIV, there are few if
any 'mild' infections. The odds of progression to AIDS, and
eventually to death, is very high." I always thought HIV always
led to AIDS and AIDS was always fatal (eventually). Am I wrong?
Thanks.
-- BB

You raise a very important point, and one that is worth
thinking about for a moment. The question as to whether
or not everyone who is infected with HIV will develop AIDS is not
yet answered. Nor is it clear that everyone who develops AIDS
will die from it. There is no denying the devastation wrought by
AIDS, nor how poor the long-term prognosis. But the average time
it takes from infection by HIV to the onset of AIDS symptoms is
so long (11 years or more) and since the disease was only
recognized in the early 1980's, the possibility remains that some
number of AIDS victims will actually survive it. In fact, recent
reports from Australia describe a small number of people who have
had many years of being HIV positive, but who show no clinical or
immunological signs of progression to AIDS. This year has also
seen the development of new medications for HIV that in
preliminary studies show some real promise. The prognosis of HIV
infection is still grim, but there are reasons to be hopeful, and
it would not be correct to say that every case is fatal.

The world is still reeling from the onslaught of HIV disease. It
may sound harsh, but in the end, AIDS is just a disease like
leukemia, cancer, even advanced heart disease, or emphysema. For
most people, when they hear of any of these diagnoses, they also
hear their death knell. Mortality statistics will tell us that it
is just another way to die. But with AIDS, the numbers will add
up frighteningly fast as the pandemic unfolds and AIDS exacts its
gruesome toll on millions of lives lost around the world.

Millions of people are living with HIV now. And make no mistake,
some of them will begin to out-live HIV. It's a matter of
precious time. Those who are HIV positive now have reason to hope
that sometime during their lifetime the prognosis will begin to
improve.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Basal Body Temperature (BBT) to find out when I ovulate"

2009-10-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

Q. My husband and I have been trying to start our family for
two years now. We just started to chart the Basal Body
Temperature (BBT) to find out when I ovulate. Our doctor will
take no action until she finds out when and if I was ovulating.
We use the home predictor kits with success, but she said they
were not as effective as the BBT. Is this true? Anyway, here is
my real question: I have discovered, taking my temperature (which
usually does seem to run on the "low" side of normal, about 97.6
to 98 on average), seems to be TOO low in the mornings. I use a
digital thermometer and it has registered anywhere from 95.6 to
98 in the last few weeks that we have started charting it. It
also seems to not follow any sort of pattern. Could there be a
medical reason for lower than normal body temperature? And could
this affect fertility?
-- MM

A. Body temperatures vary a great deal. When textbooks talk
about a normal body temperature of 98.6 degrees F, that's
"normal" in the statistical sense that it is the average body
temperature. Around that number there is quite a bit of
variation. If your temperature is 97 degrees, or 96 degrees, that
is still considered within the normal range. There are medical
conditions that lower the body temperature, but it is usually
seen only in very sick individuals.

According to Tripod's consulting gynecologist Dr. Susan Yates, a
woman's body temperature will go up one-half to one full degree
at the time of ovulation, and will stay up until her menstrual
flow begins. It is caused by an increase in the amount of
circulating progesterone -- one of the hormones required for the
menstrual cycle and for maintaining pregnancy. If you are
measuring your daily basal body temperature (taken at the same
time, first thing in the morning) you should be able to detect
the increase in body temperature, but it may take a couple of
days before the effect is seen. This can lead to some frustration
in terms of trying to time intercourse in order to get pregnant
as it may already be too late. However, it is a good way for
determining whether or not ovulation is occurring.

The other test you mention is the "home predictor kit." These
kits test a urine sample for the presence of a hormone called
luteinizing hormone, or LH. LH is produced by an area of the
brain called the pituitary gland, and stimulates the ovary to
produce estrogen. In the 24 to 48 hours prior to ovulation there
will be a surge in the amount of LH, which is detectable by this
test. The more expensive tests tend to be more accurate.

The decision as to whether BBT monitoring, the home predictor
test, or both are used as part of an initial infertility work-up
is a decision best made by you and your gynecologist.

By the way, a low normal body temperature will not cause
infertility.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "I am confused about how to have safe sex between two women"

2009-10-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

Q. I recently came to the conclusion that I am bisexual. I am
confused about how to have safe sex between two women. And what
exactly IS a dental dam?

A. A dental dam is the latex material a dentist places in
your mouth when having dental work done. It is often used
during heavier procedures where tooth fragments or blood may be
generated. It is impermeable to infectious organisms, even those
as small as the HIV virus, and therefore can be used to protect
yourself against an STD. Plastic wrap from the grocery store (the
heavier stuff) can also be used, as well as a condom that has
been cut open longitudinally.

The point, of course, is to provide an impermeable barrier
between you and your sexual partner. The trick is how to do it
without losing fun, spontaneity, and intimacy. It may take some
getting used to. It also may be easier to do if the barrier is
used as an expression of caring or love for your partner. You
probably wouldn't want to have sex with her if you didn't care
about protecting her from inadvertent harm. Sex between two women
is statistically much safer than sex between two men, or sex
between a man and a woman. But you would be wise not to forget
about STDs.

First, with regards to HIV: anytime there is the potential for
infected bodily secretions to gain access to your bloodstream,
there is the potential for disease transmission. A cut or scrape
on your finger, a small sore on your labia, a cold sore or scrape
in the mouth -- all can be routes for HIV transmission if
infected body fluids come into contact with those areas. In a
woman, these body fluids include vaginal secretions, menstrual
blood, breast milk, even saliva (although transmission by kissing
alone has never been documented). Other STDs such as herpes or
genital warts may be transmitted during direct vaginal contact
between you and your partner, sometimes even without visible
lesions.

So how do you know? You really don't, which is why everyone is
being bombarded with the notion of prevention. Until you've been
in a longstanding monogamous relationship and feel totally
confident that you and your partner are infection-free (this is a
very tricky assumption), the use of a barrier during oral sex, or
during vaginal-vaginal contact, is a good idea. A latex glove, or
fingercot, may be used if your fingers or hands will be exposed
to vaginal fluids.

Finally, don't forget that as a bisexual, if you happen not to be
using condoms during sex with a man, you may be placing your
women partners at greater risk too.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "I am in therapy for being molested as a child"

2009-10-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

Q. I am in therapy for being molested as a child. One of the
manifestations of this incident is that I have no physical
sensations on my breasts and other normally erogenous zones. My
question: Is there any physiological explanation for this
occurrence? Is there a condition that could cause this without
connection to the abuse? My therapist would like to rule out this
possibility. Thanks.

A. Being sexually molested as a child can have a number of
painful consequences. The frequency with which men, and
to a lesser extent women, sexually abuse children is appalling.
Cutting across all socioeconomic barriers, sexual abuse is one of
the most damaging of all experiences to the psyche. It may leave
scars for life.

One of the consequences of prior sexual abuse is to experience
periods of dissociation from one's actual experience. So, for
example, a woman who has been sexually abused as a child may be
unable to stay in the present moment while making love to her
husband. Her mind may go elsewhere. Psychologically, we can
imagine that she is having difficulty integrating her current
sexual experience (with someone she loves and desires) with
painful memories of sexual abuse by another man. The mind is more
likely to simply escape, to dissociate from the present
experience.

The consequences can be a lack of intimacy or fulfillment in sex,
or maybe a lack of libido. This is a sort of mental anesthesia: a
protective numbing and forgetting of past experiences. The
physical body's sexual responsiveness, being so intimately
related to our thoughts and state of mind, may follow suit and
become numb.

I am not aware of any medical or neurological entities that
could, by themselves, explain a lack of sensation in erogenous
areas of the body.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "Is there any hazard to swallowing semen during oral sex?"

2009-10-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

Assuming a monogamous relationship between two "healthy"
people, is there any hazard to swallowing semen during oral sex?

No, there really is not. The substance of the semen
itself, which is composed of both fluid from the prostate
gland and sperm that was stored in the epididymis, is not harmful
in any way.

As you suggest, the only potential worry relates to the
transmission of an STD, and the difficulty of knowing for sure
whether or not your partner is currently infected. This was
discussed in an earlier STD question and may be of some interest.

-- R. Jandl

Q & A: "My penis is very small."

2009-10-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

Q. Will masturbation affect your penis at all? I've heard
that masturbating as a teenager increases your penis's adult
size. Is this true? Does masturbating affect your penis's ability
to "shoot" semen at all?

What is the average penis size for a 15 year old?

I was wondering if using an 8" penis could actually
"hurt" a petite lady. I have had several women tell me that
considering my size, I should "take it easy" so as to not cause
any lasting soreness. Please comment.

I'm 18 years old and have a BIG problem. My penis is very
small. I'm able to get small erections and masturbate, but I'm
afraid that I won't be able to satisfy my girlfriend sexually. Is
there some kind of condition that has caused this? And, are there
any drugs or medical treatments to make my penis larger?

A. When it comes to penis size, these questions -- all
submitted in the past couple of weeks -- cover the
spectrum pretty well. Although the topic is often greeted with
laughter, embarrassment, or snickering, I suspect that there are
few issues with the potential to cause as much anxiety among men
as this one.

Like it or not, a man's sense of masculinity is linked to,
perhaps even emanates from, his genital organs. Not a surprise.
The genitals are not only a source of great pleasure for a man,
but they are often at the heart of his experience of intimacy.
They are also the source of hormones that increase his
musculature, deepen his voice, distribute his body hair -- all
features associated with virility. And the genitals have the
"power" to impregnate a woman which is a source of great pride
and pleasure for many men.

Does size count? Interestingly, it is not the size of testicles
that count, just the penis. It's not hard to see how on some
primitive level, size would seem to be important. Throughout
history, a man's ability to be "potent" emanates from his
erection. All powers of reproduction were dependent on getting an
erection. Indeed, power itself was associated with procreation. A
king who could not conceive a child -- an heir to the throne --
was in trouble. Most men have experienced at least a temporary
failure to maintain an erection well enough to satisfy themselves
or their sexual partner. This failure will often leave a man
feeling small and inadequate.

So what is a normal penis size? I am going to skirt the issue
because it is not the point. Although other men might have you
believe (or we may in our minds construct a belief) that one man
is better because he is bigger, it is worth challenging that
assumption by asking some questions. Does a bigger penis bring a
man more sexual pleasure? Does it increase the pleasure of his
sexual partner? Does it increase his virility, or enhance his
capacity to conceive? Does it make him more desirable as a long
term mate? Is his ability to love, to share life, and to be
intimate, linked to his penis size? Is his power to excel at
work, to be a great athlete, to raise children, to believe in
God, to create art, is any of that enhanced by having a large
penis? Apart from the width of a man's penis, which in some cases
may increase a woman's sexual pleasure, I would suggest that none
of these things is dependent on penis size.

So why worry? If you're smaller than others, then you're smaller
than others. That will never prevent you from the potential of
having thrilling sexual experiences. And if your partner is not
satisfied, do not be concerned. There are many reasons why our
sexual partners may not be satisfied; but there are also many
imaginative ways to provide him or her with ecstatic sexual
experiences. A man with a big penis does need to be a little
careful of "petite" women. Women's vaginas are also variable in
size, in lubrication, and in the potential for discomfort from
excessive penetration. Go slow at first, and let her guide you as
to what feels comfortable for her. As to whether frequent
masturbation can increase penis size or affect ejaculation, I am
afraid it will have no effect.

-- R. Jandl

Sexuality: How To Talk To Your Child about Sex

2009-10-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

Masturbation
Masturbation is a normal activity that people do alone or with a partner.
Masturbation means rubbing or touching your body in a way that arouses sexual
feelings and might produce an orgasm. It is called many things, including
"jerking off" and "playing with yourself".
Many people used to think that masturbation could seriously affect a person's
health. Today, we know that it does not cause physical harm. Most people see it
as a normal part of sexuality, a way to fulfil sexual needs. Both men and women
masturbate. Children, young people, adults, seniors, single and married people
can all masturbate.
Some people do not masturbate. Some do not get pleasure from it and others do
not feel comfortable touching their bodies. In some religions, it is not
acceptable. Some people never masturbate throughout their lives: all of these
choices are normal.

Masturbation can give pleasure, can be relaxing, and is an outlet for sexual
tension. It is often used as a way of understanding how your body works. If a
woman doesn't have orgasms easily, masturbation can help her learn how.
For many couples, caressing their partners' genitals to bring about orgasm is a
very pleasurable way of being intimate without having intercourse. The couple
might be trying to avoid pregnancy or practising safer sex. Or, maybe they have
decided they are not ready for intercourse.

Masturbation is unacceptable if it is done in front of a person who has not
wanted or permitted it.
There are some things to keep in mind. Touching genitals with dirty hands can
spread germs. Putting a sharp or unclean object into a vagina or anus is risky.
Muscles around the anus are not flexible, and the anus may tear or bleed.
A family doctor or counsellor can talk to you about masturbation. They are there
to help. Or, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public
Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Outercourse vs. Intercourse
Outercourse is the word used to describe all of the sexual things you and your
partner can do together, everything except sexual intercourse.
Some of these things are holding hands; kissing; hugging; necking; petting;
masturbating each other, or mutual masturbation; and oral sex. These activities
can all be very satisfying -- and sexy! Remember -- you can get sexually
transmitted diseases from oral sex. Also, ejaculating or "coming" near a woman's
vagina can start a pregnancy.
Passionate kissing and heavy petting can lead very quickly to intercourse. It is
important that you and your partner discuss your limits before you start. Make
sure each of you understands just how far you're willing to go physically. This
way, you won't have sexual intercourse without planning to. Respect yourself and
respect your partner: "No" means No.

Having intercourse if both partners don't really want to can have a negative
effect on a relationship. Things may start out well, with long talks and lots of
laughs, but intercourse too early may put an end to everything else.
Whether you have intercourse or outercourse, or no sexual activity at all, is a
decision that you must make for yourself. So, don't let anyone else talk you
into doing anything you don't want to do or don't feel ready for. Your body is
your own and you are the only one to decide what you will or will not do with
it. Don't be afraid to say "No". If you'd like to talk to somebody you can call
your local Planned Parenthood organization or Health Unit -- see
References/Resources.

Sexuality and Aging
Maturity brings with it different goals and values in all aspects of life
including sexuality. Although sexuality is with us throughout life, sexual
behaviours and attitudes change as we change over the years.

The media portray young people as glamorous and "sexy', so we associate
sexuality with youth. It is difficult, then, and embarrassing, for young people
to think of their parents, or any older people, as sexually active. In fact,
most older people continue to share sexual relationships all their lives. But,
there are gradual differences in our sexuality that occur as we age.
As men get older they may take longer to get an erection and longer to achieve
orgasm, or "come". It also takes longer before another erection can happen. Some
orgasms are internal, that is, they happen without the ejaculation of semen.
Worrying about changes in sexual response can make the response slower. Nearly
every man can't get an erection at times. This is normal, and usually temporary.
Men may try other types of sexual activities if they no longer rely on an
erection.

A woman's vagina may become somewhat stretched after having children. It becomes
less elastic and dryer as she reaches menopause. Water-soluble lubricants,
available at drug stores, can help prevent pain or discomfort during
intercourse.
Both men and women are usually able to come to climax and have orgasms all their
lives, whether or not they choose to include intercourse in their love-making.
Stress, financial and job worries, tragedies, all of life's cares, affect
interest in sex. So does feeling angry, depressed, and tired, taking medication,
and being offended by a partner's habits. Alcohol slows responses, while
increasing desire.

Some older couples find that not having to worry about pregnancy makes sex more
enjoyable. After children have left home there is more privacy. More relaxed
love-making can mean more imaginative techniques, more creative expressions of
intimacy. People like to be touched and hugged no matter what their age.
Affection and closeness are important to everyone's health.
People who have health problems may find that a different position is easier and
more enjoyable. Mutual masturbation or oral sex may be very satisfying. If a
person is alone, masturbation may bring sexual relief and pleasure. Read the
message on Masturbation, under Sexuality in the Index.
Books can answer some questions. Or, you can talk with a counsellor or a person
who works with older people.

Sex Therapy
Sex therapy is used to help people accept and increase enjoyment of their
sexuality. It is based on the ideas that sex is normal and good, that
relationships can be meaningful, and that sexual intimacy is a normal goal. Some
of the reasons people go to a sex therapist are:
problems with sexual arousal, such as being unable to have an erection or an
orgasm.

problems with painful intercourse.

a problem with sexual satisfaction.

difficulties talking about sex, and

understanding and exploring their sexual orientation.

In some cases, people have problems as a result of illness or physical
disability. During therapy, people learn to accept that it is okay to be sexual, to have sexual feelings, fantasies and needs, and to get sexual pleasure from your own
body. A good sex therapist gives accurate, practical information about sex. Some
people get help taking responsibility for their own sexual pleasure by learning
to communicate and share with their partners what feels good and what they want.
Individuals and couples can become more aware of themselves and each other, and
gain a deeper understanding of their relationships. They are encouraged to make
time in their lives for sexual intimacy. Sometimes therapists give exercises for
clients to practise at home. These exercises can help clients learn to enjoy and
respond to sexual stimulation without worrying about performance.
A sex therapist may be trained as a sexologist, social worker, psychologist,
physician, or counsellor, but should have training in how to help people deal
with sexual problems.

In Ontario, sex therapists are not licensed, so anyone can call himself or
herself a sex therapist. The Ontario Association of Marriage and Family
Therapists has names of therapists who are certified by the Board of Examiners
in Sexual Therapy and Counselling in Ontario. The Association's phone number is
1-800- 267-2638.

Homosexuality: Being Gay or Lesbian
It's hard to be different in our culture. We have pressure all around us to be
like everyone else. Even though it may seem like everyone is sexually attracted
to the opposite sex, this is not true. Some people are homosexual: they are
attracted to people of the same sex. In Canada and the United States, there are
gay men and lesbians in every occupation, leading successful lives.
When most of a person's sexual thoughts and activities are about people of the
same sex, this person may be homosexual. Women who are sexually attracted to
other women are called lesbians. Some people use the word "gay" to include both
male and female homosexuals, but usually it is used for men only. People who are
sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex are heterosexual, sometimes
called "straight". Some people are attracted to both people of the same sex and
the opposite sex; these people are bisexual.

People may feel strongly attracted to a person of the same sex. Someone can
think and fantasize about people of the same sex without necessarily being
homosexual. Young people, especially, need to explore their feelings.
Just because you are attracted to a person does not mean that you have to have
sex with them. You may admire the person and or have a loving, caring, sharing
relationship without sex. You do not have to be sexual with anyone until you are
ready.
The stereotypes of homosexuals on television or in movies bother many people.
Most gays and lesbians do not look or act any different from anyone else.
We do not know why people are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. There are
many theories but no clear answers. Many people have sexual fantasies about both
sexes, and sometimes feel confused about whether they are gay or straight. With
time and sometimes help from others, most people can sort out their feelings and
sexual orientation.

If you think that you are gay or lesbian, it may be hard to tell others about
your sexuality. You may feel afraid of losing friends or family members or your
job. However, it may be a huge relief to tell even one person. But don't rush
into it. Tell someone you really trust. And remember that it may take time for
people to adjust and to deal with the news.

"Coming out" or telling others that you are homosexual is a life-long process;
it's never finished. As you become more self- confident it will be easier to
tell others. There might be support groups that you can join in your community.
If you are a parent or a friend of someone who has told you they are homosexual,
you might feel disappointed, upset or worried. Try to deal with the news in a
way which tells the person that you still love them and care for them. As a
parent, you may have plans for your child's life, and this wasn't part of your
plans. But being gay or lesbian isn't bad. Homosexuals are not sick and they
don't need to change or be cured. It is important to support your child or
friend now. That person trusts and respects you enough to confide in you. They
need you. Your love and understanding will help them accept themselves as they
are.
There are books on this subject. It may help to talk to someone you trust. The
Kids Help Phone Line, 1-800-668-6868, is a toll-free number that has counsellors
24 hours a day. . You can also call a local Planned Parenthood organization or
Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

How To Talk To Your Child about Sex
Many parents find it hard to talk to their children about sex. Yet children WANT
to know, and if they don't get accurate information from their parents, they'll
probably get inaccurate information from friends, TV, films and magazines. They
are curious about sex, just as they are about everything else. Studies show that
young people who talk with their parents about sex tend to wait longer to have
intercourse. They are more likely to use birth control and to take precautions
against getting sexually transmitted diseases when they do have intercourse.
Here are some general tips that other parents have found helpful for talking to
their children.

Be available. Watch for clues that show they want to talk. Remember that your
comfort with the subject is important. They need to get a feeling of trust from
you.

Answer questions honestly and without showing embarrassment, even if the time
and place do not seem appropriate. A short answer may be best for the moment.
Then return to the subject later.
Avoid babyish words. Using correct names for body parts and their functions
shows that they are normal and OK to talk about.
It's OK to say, "I don't know." Nobody knows everything, and when you can't
answer a question, that can be an opportunity to learn with your child. Tell
your child that you'll get the information and continue the discussion later, or
do the research together. Then be sure to do this soon. Don't duck the question
or expect your partner or a professional to handle it, although they can add to
your answer.

Some people claim that sex education encourages sexual activity; however,
studies show that the earlier you start education the better. If they are old
enough to ask questions, they are old enough to get good answers.
Practice talking about sex with your spouse, another family member or a friend.
This will help you feel more comfortable when you do talk with your child.
If your child doesn't ask, look for ways to bring up the subject. For example,
you may know a pregnant woman, watch the birth of a pet, or see a baby getting a
bath. Use a TV program or film to start a discussion. Libraries and schools have
good books about sex for all ages.

Talk about sex more than once. Children need to hear things again and again over
the years to really understand, because their level of understanding changes as
they grow older. Make certain that you talk about feelings, not just actions.
Answer the question that is asked. Respect your child's desire for information.
But, don't overload the child with too much information at once. Try to give
enough information to answer the question clearly, yet encourage further
discussion.

Privacy is important, for both you and your child. If your child doesn't want to
talk, say, "OK, let's talk about it later," and do. Don't forget about it. Never
search a child's room, drawers or purse for "evidence". Never listen in on a
telephone or private conversation.

Listen to your children. They want to know that their questions and concerns are
important. The world they're growing up in is different from what yours was.
Laughing at or ignoring a child's question may stop them from asking again. They
will get information, accurate or inaccurate, from other sources.
Share your values. If your jokes, behaviour or attitudes don't show respect for
sexuality, then you cannot expect your child to be sexually healthy. They learn
attitudes about love, caring, and responsibility from you, whether you talk
about it or not. Tell your child what your values are about sex and about life.
Find out what they value in their lives.
Talk about your concern for their health and their future.
There are books which may be helpful, or you can call a local Planned Parenthood
organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources

How To Talk To Your Parents About Sex
When you were younger you probably asked your parents about your body, about
where babies come from, or how they get into their "mommy's tummy". Some adults
answer such questions easily, helping the child feel comfortable about asking
more. Others are embarrassed, and may laugh, or ignore the question, or give
false information.

No matter how your questions were treated when you were younger, you can still
talk to your parents about sex. One thing is certain: parents were young once
themselves. They have felt afraid and uncertain, and have been through some of
the same experiences you're going through.

You already have a good idea of your parents' values and culture. Your own
values are formed originally from theirs, but also from your friends, other
adults, films, books, religious teaching and others. Some of your values might
be different from theirs. Some questions about sex have factual answers. Others
are a matter of what is thought to be right and wrong, good or bad.

If possible, choose a time to talk to your parent when you won't be interrupted:
in the car or the kitchen, or late at night. But, respect your parents' privacy,
just as you want them to respect yours.

If you disagree with them about "rules" or how they want you to behave, ask
yourself some questions. Have you shown them you are responsible? Are they
worried about your safety, or pregnancy, or sexually transmitted diseases? If
you make a promise, stick to it. Can you make a deal that will help you both?
Watching TV or a video together is often a good time to talk about sex. You may
state your opinion of what you've just seen. Or, when parents mention friends'
or relatives' problems or behaviour, that may be a good chance to talk.
You can open a conversation with a general question, such as "How old were you
when you had your first boy (or girl) friend?", or, "Did you ever talk to your
parents about dating?" Beginning a conversation with "I feel...", or "Could you
tell me more about..." will help. Saying "You're wrong" can make talking more
difficult.

Your talk will probably go better if you stay calm. If you are angry or
emotional, it may be better to say, "I'll talk to you later," and leave the
room. This can show maturity, and give you a chance to think about what you
really want to say. It might help to rehearse what you want to say or ask
beforehand.

Maybe it's hard to believe, but most couples have sexual relationships most of
their lives. Because film and TV stars are young and glamorous, young people
often have the idea that their parents no longer have romance or sexual
feelings. They probably do, and they also have a lifetime of experiences.
Getting some facts can help you. Find books, or get brochures from clinics. You
can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see
References/Resources.

Men's Sexual Concerns
Most men have sexual concerns at some time. They wonder about why they can't
always "get it up", whether they are impotent, or why they "come" so quickly, or
why they "come" only through masturbation and not with their partner.
There is a wide range of sexual behaviour and desire. Some people like different
positions, different techniques, and others don't. Whatever a man likes is
normal for him. He does not have to do what he believes other men do. It is
wrong to force another person into any unwanted sexual activity. Force and abuse
are criminal acts.
At some time during their lives most men find that they are not able to keep an
erection long enough to get satisfaction. It may be a result of being sick,
tired, stressed or offended by their partner, or due to alcohol, drugs or
medication. But worrying about an erection makes it less likely to happen or, if
it does, to keep it long enough. Doctors can help if there is a medical problem.
And a sex therapist can help if there is a psychological problem.

The most common sexual concern of young men is premature ejaculation, or
"coming" too quickly. This is a learned behaviour, usually from being rushed in
the past during sexual activity or masturbation. If a man begins to recognize
the feelings that come just before ejaculation, he can learn to slow down and
control these feelings. By holding hard onto the penis, by starting and stopping
his movements, he can, with practice, overcome this difficulty. Or, he can
ejaculate first, either by masturbating with his partner or by himself, then a
second ejaculation a few minutes later will be slower and more satisfying. There
are books or qualified sex therapists to help.

Sometimes a man has difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner, even though he
has no trouble becoming hard and no trouble when he masturbates. There is
usually a psychological reason for this. He may feel guilty about sexual
activity, or afraid of making a woman pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted
disease. Talking to your partner about what you like and what feels good can
help a lot. If you need help, this type of difficulty can usually be treated
very successfully by a qualified sex therapist.

You can learn more about sexuality by reading books and pamphlets, or talking to
a counsellor or doctor. You can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or
Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Women's Sexual Concerns
Many women have concerns about their sexuality. They wonder if they are normal,
or why they have trouble having orgasms, or whether they don't enjoy sex as much
as other women do, or why intercourse is sometimes painful.
There is a wide range of behaviour and desire. Some people like different
positions, different techniques, and others don't. Whatever a woman likes is
normal for her. She does not have to do what she believes other women do. It is
wrong to force another person into any unwanted sexual activity. Force and abuse
are criminal acts.
Common worries are not having an orgasm or not enjoying sex. These can be helped
if a woman understands her body and can communicate with her partner. She can
learn what feels good, and what she doesn't like. The clitoris, just above the
vagina, is the source of most sexual pleasure. During intercourse the clitoris
is not usually touched in the way a woman needs. A woman or her partner can
stimulate her clitoris during "foreplay" or intercourse, or after the man
ejaculates, to help her have an orgasm. She can discover what gives her the most
pleasure, either with her partner or alone through masturbation. What a woman
likes can change during a lifetime.

When a woman is stimulated, her vagina becomes moist. This natural lubricant
makes intercourse easier. Some people use a water-based lubricant to add even
more moisture. This can be bought at a drug store, (never use petrolium based
lubricants).

A woman can communicate her feelings and desires to her partner through words or
body language. Partners will probably find that if they can communicate, they
will have more pleasure and satisfaction.

Fear of pregnancy, getting a sexually transmitted disease or being caught can
all keep a person from enjoying sex. Feeling tired, stress, illness and alcohol
also affect sexual feelings. Negative sexual experiences, such as abuse, rape or
just being taught that sex is dirty or wrong all have lasting effects. But
sometimes there is a physical problem that a doctor can treat. Psychological
problems can nearly always be helped by a qualified sex therapist.
You can learn more about sexuality by reading books and pamphlets, or by talking
to a counsellor or doctor if you have questions. You can call a local Planned
Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Sexuality: Intercourse, Sexual Organs, Concerns

2009-10-29T12:33:00.000-07:00

Puberty in Girls
Puberty is a time of many changes. A girl's body starts changing after about age
8. Many girls worry that they are not developing fast enough, or are concerned
if they develop before their friends do. Remember, each person has her own
timetable. Some girls start puberty early, and some start later.
Most of the changes of puberty are caused by chemicals called "hormones" that
the body starts to produce. The main female hormones are estrogen and
progesterone.

Breasts start to grow when a girl is between 9 and 13. Many girls are concerned
about the size and shape of their breasts. Breasts come in many different sizes,
so girls shouldn't worry if theirs are different from their friends'. One breast
may grow more quickly than the other; however, they will be about the same size
when they finish growing. Pubic and underarm hair will start to grow next.
Menstrual periods usually start between the ages of 11 and 15; however, periods
can begin as early as 9 and as late as 17.
This is what causes a period: about once a month, a woman's body gets itself
ready for pregnancy. The lining of the womb, or uterus, starts to thicken. About
2 weeks later, one of the ovaries releases an egg, or ovum. If sperm from a
man's body does not join with the egg, that is, it is not fertilized, then the
thick lining of the uterus is not needed. In about another two weeks, her body
gets rid of this lining through the vagina. This is called having a period, or
menstruation.

Many women are uncomfortable or have cramps during their periods. Exercise, a
heating pad or hot water bottle, and a pain reliever can help. If these ideas
don't work, ask a doctor or school nurse for help.
Periods usually last between 3 and 7 days. They may be longer or shorter, and
bleeding may be heavier in some months than in others -- especially when you
first start having your period. Many things can affect your period, such as
stress or sickness or fast weight loss. After a while, most women find that
their periods become regular. Once periods are more regular, they happen about
every 21 to 35 days, or 3 to 5 weeks.

If a woman has intercourse then misses her period, she might be pregnant. If
sperm joins with an egg a pregnancy begins. The fertilized egg attaches itself
to the thick lining of her uterus and starts to grow. Her body does not get rid
of the lining and she does not have a menstrual period.
The female hormones also cause a woman's vagina to produce a discharge or mucus.
This does not hurt or itch or smell bad. However, if you have a discharge that
does hurt or itch or smell strong, see your doctor; you might have an infection.

Pimples or acne are a common problem. Some suggestions are to wash with plain
soap, not eat foods with lots of fat, not use skin moisturizers, and use lotions
with benzoyl peroxide which can be bought without prescription at a drug store.
A doctor may also be able to prescribe medication.
Body odour is caused by perspiration. Many people stop it by washing often with
regular or deodorant soap and using deodorants.
Girls usually grow quickly between 10 and 13. After their periods start, most
grow about another inch or 3 centimeters. Most reach their adult height by age
16.

Puberty may be a time of strong sexual feelings and fantasies. These feelings
may be confusing or a worry or very pleasant. Daydreaming about kissing or sex,
developing a crush, feeling romantic are all normal. Respect your body, respect
yourself for what you are today, and demand respect from others.
If you want more information, you can read books on puberty. Or, talk with
someone you trust. You can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or
Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Women's Sexual Organs
A woman's sexual parts are harder to see than a man's, so many people don't know
much about them. Some women have been taught that this area of their body is
dirty or ugly, and that it is shameful to touch it or talk about it. These parts
are not dirty or shameful. Like any other parts of your body, the more you know
about how they work, the easier it is to stay healthy.
It is useful to see what this part of your body looks like. You will need a
small mirror to do this. Second, you will need some facts.
The whole area between your legs is called "the vulva". You will see two sets of
lips, called "labia". After puberty, the outer lips have pubic hair growing on
them. The inner lips vary in size and shape and colour. One lip may be larger
than the other.
Inside the lips are the clitoris and two openings. Starting at the front of the
body, where the inner labia meet, is the clitoris. In adult women, the clitoris
is about the size of the eraser on the end of a pencil. In some women, it is
covered with skin and in others it is uncovered.
The clitoris is extremely sensitive and is the source of much sexual pleasure.
Some women like to have it touched directly, when they are ready. However,
others find this painful and prefer to have the area around the clitoris rubbed.

The opening closest to the clitoris is the urethra, where urine comes out. It is
small and hard to see.
Next is the opening to the vagina. This is where menstrual blood and vaginal
discharge come out, and where the penis goes during vaginal intercourse. Sperm
travel up the vagina, through what's called the cervix, into the womb (or
uterus). If it meets and fertilizes an egg, or ovum, a pregnancy begins. When a
baby is born, it moves out of the uterus, down the vagina and out the same
opening.
Inside the vagina there is usually a thin tissue called the "hymen". Other names
for it are "cherry" and "maidenhead". The hymen can become stretched or torn by
things like using tampons and having sexual intercourse for the first time. For
some women, this can be uncomfortable and cause a bit of bleeding; others don't
even notice it.
The opening further back is the anus. It is where bowel movements come out.
From puberty, girls will notice a vaginal discharge or mucus on their underwear.
It is perfectly normal. It may be yellow or milky-white, watery or thick. The
appearance and amount of this change at different times in a woman's cycle.
These changes can help tell when she is most likely to get pregnant.
If the discharge has a strong or bad smell, if it itches, or if it is a strange
colour, it could be a sign of an infection or a sexually transmitted disease.
This should be checked by a doctor, as some of these are serious and spread
easily.
To find out more about a woman's body, get books on the subject. Talk to
someone: a parent, counsellor, or health care worker. Or, you can call a local
Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see
References/Resources.

Puberty in Boys
Puberty is a time of many changes. A boy's body starts changing when he is in
between 11 and 20. Many boys worry that they are not developing fast enough.
Remember, each person has his own timetable. Some boys start puberty early, and
some start later. You will go through puberty at your own speed.
Most of the changes of puberty are caused by the male hormone testosterone which
the body is starting to produce. Testosterone is made in the testicles. The
testicles are inside a sac or bag below the penis, called the scrotum.
As the amount of testosterone increases, the scrotum gets darker. The penis and
testicles start to grow. Pubic hair also starts to grow. Underarm and facial
hair will come later. The voice gets deeper, and sometimes may crack or break.
In the throat, the Adam's apple, or larynx, gets bigger. Some boys swell a
little under their nipples, but this usually goes away.
The testicles start to produce sperm. This will continue for the rest of a man's
life. Sperm are released in a white fluid called "semen". Sometimes semen is
released from the penis during sleep. This is called a "wet dream", and it is
normal and harmless.
Some people think that you can tell the size of a man's penis by other physical
characteristics, like the size of his feet or his race. These beliefs are not
true. It is also not true that the size of a man's penis affects his partner's
sexual satisfaction.
An erection, or "hard-on", may occur at unexpected times. This can be
embarrassing, but it is normal. It is not necessary to ejaculate or "come", even
for years, in order to be healthy.
Pimples or acne are a common problem. Washing with plain soap, avoiding foods
with lots of fat, using lotions with benzoyl peroxide which are available
without prescription at drug stores, or a visit to the doctor may help. Body
odour is caused by perspiration, and can be helped by washing with plain soap or
deodorant soaps and using deodorants.
Most boys grow quickly between ages 12 and 15. By 18, most stop growing, but
muscles will continue to develop.
Puberty may be a time of strong sexual feelings and fantasies. These feelings
may be confusing, and may cause both concern and pleasure; however, they are
normal. If you are worried, find books about puberty, or talk with someone you
trust. You can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health
Unit -- see References/Resources.

Men's Sexual Organs
A man's most obvious sex organ is his penis. Penis size has nothing to do with
how tall or muscular a man is, his race, or any other physical characteristic.
The size of a penis when it is soft has little to do with its size when it is
erect.
Men with big penises are not more masculine or manly. They do not make more
sperm than men with small penises. And, the size of a man's penis has nothing to
do with how much he and his partner enjoy sex.
At the tip of the penis is the opening where urine comes out. When the man is
sexually excited a clear fluid will come from this opening. This contains sperm
and is natural. The opening is also where semen comes out when a man ejaculates
or "comes".
Some men have been circumcised. This can be for health or religious reasons. It
means that a part of the foreskin has been removed from around the head of the
penis. This changes the appearance of the penis and may make it easier to keep
the penis clean, but has no other effect.
A penis becomes erect when blood rushes to it, causing it to become hard and
stick up or out from the body. This is often called a "hard-on" or a "boner".
Some erections happen unexpectedly, often when they aren't wanted. They may
happen when a boy or man is thinking sexual thoughts, when he is excited or
anxious, or sometimes when he is not thinking about anything in particular. This
may be embarrassing but it is normal.
Behind the penis are the testicles or "balls". They are in a sac called the
"scrotum". One may be larger and hang lower than the other. Sperm need to be
cooler than the body to live -- this is why the testicles are outside the body.
Most lumps or bumps in the scrotum are harmless pouches of fluid, called cysts.
Some go away by themselves, others need to be removed by surgery. A lump in the
scrotum could also be a sign of cancer. It is important to have any lump checked
by a doctor. Your doctor can also show you how to examine your testicles
regularly. The best time to do this is after a hot bath or shower. The Canadian
and American Cancer Societies have literature on this subject.
If you want more information on men's sexual organs, find books on the topic.
Talk with your parents, someone at a clinic or a family planning centre. Or, you
can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see
References/Resources.

Some Ideas About Sex: What Guys and Girls Think
There are almost as many ways to think about sex as there are people. Some of
these ideas are true and some are not.
Many people think that all guys are only interested in having intercourse. But,
boys and men vary in their interest in sex, and their interest changes with
other changes in their lives. Men can have and express tender feelings, and
appreciate closeness and affection.
Girls and women also have very strong feelings. They often want and enjoy sex,
as well as caring, loving relationships.
Both males and females need to express feelings. Good, positive relationships
are important to both guys and girls. Sometimes people exaggerate their
partner's commitment, to impress their friends, or for their own sense of
security. Sometimes feelings get confused.

The first sexual intercourse can be exciting, scary, pleasurable, and even
disappointing, for both guys and girls. Many young couples know they're not
ready. Maybe it isn't the "right" time or the "right" person; they don't know
each other well enough; they want to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted
diseases. Or, maybe they just feel too confused and need more time to sort out
their feelings. Kissing, hugging, touching, mutual masturbation or rubbing
genitals to reach orgasm, can be safe, satisfying alternatives to intercourse.
These types of sexual activity are called outercourse. Discuss sex, one step at
a time, to make sure that both of you are ready for any steps you take.
We get ideas about sex from television, movies, music, ads, jokes, friends and
family. You need to sort out your own ideas and values, what it is you want.
Sometimes, one partner tries to pressure the other into becoming sexually
active. Knowing your values and what you want will help you in this situation.
No means No. Respect your partner and respect yourself. Sexual assault, even in
a marriage or dating relationship, is a criminal offense. Only yes means yes.
Neither guys nor girls know all about sex. Take time to communicate your
feelings and get to know your partner.

Similar interests and values between partners help make a relationship stronger,
more satisfying and longer-lasting. Even happily married couples do not always
want sex at the same time, nor do they have orgasms at the same moment.
If a person carries a condom it doesn't mean that he or she is "easy" or expects
"action". It means the person is thinking, being prepared, and will have
protection if they decide to include intercourse in their sexual relationship.
If you want more information, find books, read other Facts of Life Netline
messages, or talk to an adult you respect and trust. You can call a local
Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see
References/Resources.

Making Decisions about Intercourse, and How to Say "No"
Growing up involves learning to make decisions and living with them. When you
begin to care for and be attracted to someone, then it is time to take a good
look at yourself, your values and goals. How far do you want to go with that
person now? Later?

It's important to talk about your feelings. Becoming sexually active means
looking at the relationship and examining why you want to have intercourse. It
means taking responsibility for preventing an unplanned pregnancy and the spread
of sexually transmitted diseases. Many couples decide not to include sexual
intercourse in their activities because of the risks, or because they just don't
feel ready.

So, how do you say "no" without hurting the other person, making him or her
dislike you and say bad things about you? How do you say "no" so that the other
person knows you really mean it? Here are some things to think about:
1. Work out an understanding with your partner. Talk things over before they go
further than you both want.
2. Remind yourself that your partner doesn't need to have sexual intercourse; if
you can wait, your partner can wait.
3. You don't have to explain, but you can give a reason if you want to, such as
"I've made up my mind to wait," or "I'm not ready to get involved."
4. Remember how important birth control and parenthood are.
5. It's easy to get a sexually transmitted disease. These may be painful or
uncomfortable, and can cause infertility or sterility. "Infertility" means being
unable to have a baby, and "sterility" means being unable to father a child.
6. Respect yourself. Know that the right person will wait for you.
7. Consider your goals for yourself in education, career and other areas of your
life.
8. Believe in yourself. Remember your personal values, and do what is right for
you.
In some relationships, guys or girls try to talk another person into
intercourse. Some lines that people use are:
"If you really love me you'll prove it."

"Everybody's doing it."

"I'll take care of you."

"I'll stop before you could get pregnant."

"If you don't want to have sex with me I'll leave you."
or,

"I'll find somebody who will."

Remember, no one has the right to pressure you into having intercourse. It's
your decision.
Sometimes people feel that having intercourse will solve their problems. Some
unhealthy reasons for having intercourse are:
You want to hold onto a relationship that's breaking up.

Your friends are all doing it (or say they are).

You want to prove that you are very feminine or very masculine.

You want to get pregnant to make him marry you.

You've had intercourse before; there's no point in holding back any more.

You were high and it just happened.

If you are ready to have sexual intercourse, then you need to be ready to take
responsibility for birth control and avoiding the spread of sexually transmitted
diseases. Relying on luck is not good enough. Find out as much as you can so you
can make the best choice. Kissing, hugging, petting, mutual masturbation all can
be healthier and safer than intercourse -- and just as sexy.
The more sure you are of yourself, the less likely you are to be flattered or
frightened into doing something you're not ready for. Think carefully. Avoid
alcohol and drugs, as well as people or situations that keep you from thinking
for yourself. Talk things over with someone you trust. You have many choices,
make the decisions that seem best for you. You deserve that!
You can read other Facts of Life Netline messages about sexuality. Talk to
someone you respect and trust. Or, you can call a local Planned Parenthood
organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Sexual Concerns of Teens
Teenagers have many questions about sexuality. One of the most common is "Am I
normal?" Most teens are concerned about body changes, fantasies, being sexually
attracted to others and having sexual feelings. Teens are also curious about
heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, masturbation, sexual satisfaction
and just feeling OK about being curious. You may also have questions about birth
control, pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases and how to make
decisions. It is normal to be interested in all of these. You may find answers
to some of your questions in other Facts of Life Netline messages.
Normal sexual body changes for a woman occur between 8 and 18 years of age.
Changes in the amount of special chemicals in her body, called "hormones" cause
her breasts, usterus, ovaries and vagina to develop. These changes can affect
her feelings about her body. Hormones are also connected to menstruation or
periods. Menstruation is one sign that a girl is physically changing into a
woman.

For a young man, sexual body changes occur between 11 and 20 years of age. They
include growth in the size of the testicles and the scrotum, or sac, that holds
the testicles. Hormones start to make sperm in the testicles. Many boys have
"wet dreams", a release of white fluid from their penis during sleep. The fluid
is called "semen" and contains sperm. Wet dreams are a sign that a boy is
physically changing into a man. A clear fluid can come out of an aroused penis
before ejaculation; it also contains sperm.
Masturbation, or rubbing your own body for sexual pleasure, is normal. It is
done by young and old people, men and women. It can also be done with a partner,
when the couple isn't ready for intercourse, or to avoid pregnancy or spreading
a sexually transmitted disease.
Pregnancy occurs if a woman's egg is fertilized by a man's sperm. Usually, the
first sign of a pregnancy is missing a period. At that time, the woman is
probably about six weeks pregnant.

Missing a period may be caused by many things other than pregnancy: illness,
stress, change in diet, etc. But, if a woman has had intercourse she should get
a pregnancy test right away. If a couple has unprotected intercourse or if the
condom breaks, and they do not want to start a pregnancy, the woman may go to a
doctor or clinic and ask for the "Morning After Pill". But, she has to get the
Morning After Pill within 3 days of the intercourse. Or, she might be able to
get a "post-coital IUD" within 5 to 7 days, to stop pregnancy.
A woman who is pregnant has three choices: having the baby and keeping it,
giving it up for adoption, or having an abortion. You may want to read to the Facts of Life Netline messages about these.

For some young men and women, hormone changes can cause "mood swings". Sexual
feelings and fantasies and feelings can also increase because of hormone
changes. Some young people have very strong desires and spend a lot of time
daydreaming. It is common to be concerned about what others think of them, get
confused, rebel and worry about the future.
It's also normal to be curious about heterosexuality -- sexual relationships
with someone of the opposite sex, homosexuality -- or sexual relationships with
someone of the same sex, and bisexuality -- sexual relationships with people of
both sexes. You might find it helpful to talk over your thoughts and feelings
with someone you trust, such as your parents, a counsellor, a teacher, a school
nurse, your doctor, a clergyperson or a friend. The Facts of Life Netline
message on Homosexuality, under Sexuality in the Index, gives more information.

There are many books about teenage questions and concerns. Two books are The
Teenage Body Book and Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. You might also read the
Facts of Netlife Line message on Making Decisions About Sex, also in the Index
under Sexuality, or other topics. Or, you can call a local Planned Parenthood
organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Advanced Exotic Straight Sex Positions

2008-12-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

Sex positions using common furniture items

It is highly recommended that couples try making love using some common furniture items (table, chair, sofa, etc.), which adds greatly to the variety and excitement of sex life.

The woman can lie comfortably on her back on the table and spread out her legs upwards, so that he can penetrate her easily standing near the edge of the table. This is a very comfortable position and the penetration is very easy. The man can support her legs with his hands. He can stimulate her genitals gently while thrusting. She will get moved around quite a lot in this position, therefore the man has to make sure she feels comfortable, for example, her head is not banging on the wall.

"Seated positions" are the first positions to try using a chair. The man has to sit own on a chair. The woman can lower herself on his penis by sitting down onto his lap. She can sit down on his penis facing him, facing away or sideways. In the face-to-face seated position the penetration is quite deep, and the position is highly erotic, especially for a woman due to high friction, which stimulates her clitoris. When facing away, the woman is the one to set tempo and she can take away some of her body weight by leaning forward a bit. In sideways position the penetration angle is not very deep and this position is mainly good for fooling around. It is very convenient for a man to reach and stimulate her genitals in the sideways seated position, which she will enjoy a lot.

Men will find themselves very passive in all seated positions and are highly unlikely to reach orgasm in this way. The woman however can reach orgasm, especially, in face-to-face seated position, which she is likely to enjoy very much. In the other seated positions, however, without additional stimulation by hand the woman is unlikely to climax either.

Tao positions

Taoists paid special attention to aesthetic pleasure from lovemaking. Therefore Tao positions can be regarded as beautiful sex for beautiful people, well, at least a beautiful woman.

In a "Two fishes" position partners have to lie side-by-side facing each other. After he penetrates her, he has to lift her legs onto his. Apparently, there will not be very much activity in this position, yet couples may find it interesting to try.

"Mandarin ducks" position is a rear entry position with both partners lying on their sides. According to Taoist book it is a very seductive way of having sex, when a man slips his penis into her vagina with her lying relaxingly (an erotic way to wake her up), but there are very little movements as if nothing is happening. In this position a woman can stimulate her breasts and nipples as he thrusts, and a man caress her body with his upper hand.

"Butterflies in flight" is woman-on-top position with both partners' legs kept together. In this position the woman controls the rhythm and his movements are very limited. This position allows for very close and sensual body contact.

In "Seagulls on the wing" position the woman lies back on the bed with her legs down over the edge of the bed. The man kneels down on the floor and enters her from a kneeling position. The advantage of this position is the unique penetration angle. In this position his penis and her vagina are parallel, which induces a high penetration angle, while in most other man-on-top positions the man thrusts downwards.

"The pine tree" position is excellent for men with shorter penis. A couple can arrive at this position from the common man-on-top position. He should pull himself up and towards her to arrive at different penetration angle. She raises her legs and wraps them around his back. This position allows for deep penetration and the woman can pull herself towards the man with her legs.

In "The galloping horse" position the man sits down on his knees and pulls the woman (lying on her back) onto his knees. The man thrusts while holding onto her neck and foot like a bareback rider clinging to the mane and tail of a speeding horse.

Simple exotic positions

"The first posture" is very similar to missionary man-on-top position. He should lift his whole body on his hands and legs. The woman should hold her hands around his hands and lift her legs to embrace his buttocks. A man with a long penis can adjust the length of penetration in this position easily in order to avoid her discomfort.

"Vine intertwined" is the same as "Upper scissors" position described under side-by-side positions.

"The one who stops at home" is an unusual man on top position. Lying on her back, the woman tenses and raises her bottom and swivels her hips as she thrusts upward. He should follow her movements and make sure his penis does not slip out. She should rest her weight on her shoulders, preferably leaning onto soft pillows.

"The sixth posture" is a kneeling rear entry position. The man can reach and stimulate her genitals with his one free hand, while supporting his weight with the other.

In a "One leg up" position a woman should lie on her back and raise her one leg. He should kneel down in order to enter her. In this position it is convenient for her to reach and rhythmically massage or squeeze his penis.

"A phoenix playing in a red cave" is a position when the man sits down keeping his legs together and she sits on his lap facing him. Both the man and the woman can either hold to each other or lean back supporting themselves with hands. This is a very deep penetration position. The movements of both partners are quite limited in this position, therefore the man is unlikely to reach orgasm in this position, but women will enjoy this position very much due to friction and active stimulation of the clitoris with his body.

To arrive at "The goat and the tree" position he should sit down on a chair-like object. The woman then sits on his lap with her back to his front. The woman can spread her legs for easier penetration and better access to her clitoris. The man's movements in this position will be very limited, but his hands are free to caress her breast and clitoris. Without additional stimulation of her clitoris the woman is unlikely to reach orgasm in this position.

Advanced exotic techniques

"Frog fashion"

In "The crying out position" a man has to sit down with his legs slightly spread out. A woman sits between his legs facing him. She lifts her legs over his elbows so that it is convenient for him to lift her. Then the man lifts her and moves her from side to side. She can also support her weight by leaning back on her hands.

"The tenth posture" requires the man to kneel between her legs and over her body. The woman then lifts her bottom so that his penis can penetrate her vagina. She can initiate the movement and the partners can rock their bodies in a comfortably cozy fashion.

"Butterfly" position scores the highest marks in sex quality and satisfaction. A couple will have to take some time to adjust comfortably for this position. You need to find a place (such as high bed or low table) where a woman can comfortably lie down on her back so that her vagina is approximately 30 cm lower than his penis while the man is standing in front of her. Then the woman should put her legs on his shoulders and raise her bottom so that her back is straight, and her vagina meets the penis. The man should support her back by holding her buttocks. The penetration angle in the butterfly position is deep and such that it allows his penis to reach the G-spot and the woman has a great feeling of "weightlessness" in this position, which makes it one of the most unforgettable positions for her. Lovemaking can be either very sensuous or energetic in this position.

Concluding remarks

Which sexual positions a couple uses depends solely on the partners. It will become obvious to loving couples, which type of stimulation is most enjoyed by the other partner. Partners can only gain from experimenting with unfamiliar positions, just because people like new things. No matter what is said or written your own satisfaction and physical comfort are the key determinants of your sex life, just don't be afraid to ask your partners for something new. Good luck.

Women and Anal Sex: The Forbidden Zone of Pleasure

2008-12-23T15:33:00.000-08:00

There's an area of a woman's body that is a secret erogenous zone, and there are a lot of guys who still haven't discovered it, or know how to use it. This place is a woman's anus.

That's right, her ass.

There are a large number of nerve endings in the rectum, making it a prime target for sexual stimulation. There is even a theory that a woman is sexually aroused by practically any kind of stimulation in a zone around her genitalia. Adding a little erotic attention to her backside can reap you a whopper of an orgasm that will have her begging to repeat the pleasure.

If she's ready and has had anal sex before, chances are you can just let her tell you how to start the proceedings. But if she hasn't tried taking any penetration back there, you need to work into it slowly.

Keep in mind, there are some important things to be aware of when you start heading towards her back door:

- First, always ask before you explore. You can do this in a very gentle way, such as putting your finger close by and asking "Do you mind, or do you prefer not?" You can also do this without asking by just running your fingers down her butt when she's on top of you. Tease your way very close, but not quite touching her anus. This is a kind of hint. Now, watch and feel for her body language. If she stops moving, or tenses up when you get close, she may have issues, and you should stop and talk about it again later. If, instead, she perks her little booty up in the air and grinds, she's probably indicating some interest.

(I've found that if you're already in a sexual relationship with a woman, you can usually just jokingly bring the topic up about a 'friend' of yours and see what her reaction is. Every woman I've ever done this with has made her feelings known right away about this.)

- Always use some kind of lubrication. Always.

- It’s always painful until she relaxes, so go VERY slowly. Start by just pressing on her butt with your fingertip, rubbing it slowly. Then, use your pinky finger to penetrate and go from there. It's actually more important to not penetrate too deep than it is to use too fat a finger. Her sphincter muscle closes at several points, and it's painful to go too deep without warning.

- Never use the same finger, toy, whatever, on both her butt and the vagina. This is exceptionally bad hygiene that will likely give her a UTI (Urinary tract infection.) Not pretty or fun, and you don’t want her cursing your name every time she has to scream when peeing. Be clean. And make absolutely sure to wash your hands afterwards.

A lot of women like stimulation in the posterior, and yet they are also torn, believing the stigma that anal stimulation or sex is filthy and degenerate. (There are still laws on the books of many states against sodomy - the act of anal sex.) If this is your taste and not hers, respect her wishes and stay away. You’ll find that if you do well in pleasing her in other areas, she may get curious later on, and it could lead to working her up to some anal sex at a later point as well.

[And worth mention here... Last minute tip on giving a woman oral sex - intensify the clit-licking you're giving her by slipping a finger into her anus. This sends most women over the edge!]

Anal Sex: How To Enter, Analingus, Positions

2008-12-22T14:35:00.000-08:00

Overview of Anal Sex

No man can deny he has not been curious about anal sex. As opposed to straight sex, which practically all men enjoy, anal sex experience differs greatly from man to man. If you learn to do it comfortably, every man will love anal sex. The key things about anal sex are lubrication and, yes, tenderness.

Many women dislike anal sex simply because it hurts, but it should not be the case, and if done correctly women are likely to find it enjoyable and appealing. The greatness of anal sex lies in the fact that stimulating anus greatly enhances the body's erotic perception. Most people that have tried anal sex are surprised by the extremely strong sexual sensation it provides. A good lover can make the woman climax in anal sex by stimulating her genitals with hand, and that feeling will be something special for her.

Anal sex is good for spicing up a sex life for boring sex and good relationship is not something that comes together. Anal sex provides uniquely different feelings for both partners and both physically and in mind. Although anal sex is usually associated with roughness and harshness, it should generally be loving and gentle.

It is most recommended that you use condom in anal sex, even if you are absolutely sure that your partner has no diseases. Due to natural reasons there are a lot of bacteria in her ass that can make his penis swell and catch infection. Condom would also help you to gather semen, which a woman might fear be able to mess up her ass.

Be sure to use lubricants if you are going for anal sex. It is highly recommended that you read the guide's section about lubricants before you commence. If you are too lazy, however, remember to use water-based lubricant, which is compatible with condom.

How to enter

First penetration is the most difficult part of anal sex for the man is most likely to find her anus very tight and it is very likely for her to hurt a little or a lot depending on the skill of her lover. There is no easy advice around it. If the man is a caring and curious lover, he can ask her to enter a finger or two in his anus to get a much better understanding how it feels for her than any written advice can give.

The key in penetration is in tenderness and slowness. The anal sex will not be any good and will hurt if her ass will be tense. The man can start off with slowly sliding a well-lubricated finger inside her ass. The anus of the woman is likely to tense and relax in a more or less random fashion reacting to the presence of the external body. The man has to move the finger slowly both when sliding it in and pulling out, allowing her to adjust and relax.

The man should consider the size of his penis relative to the finger. Perhaps, he can allow her adjust to two fingers, after starting off with one. Then the man has to put the tip of his well-lubricated penis (preferably in condom) at her anus and slowly penetrate it. No rush and no quick movements, and it will work greatly.

Anal sex should not be very long, especially, until the woman's body is quite used to this kind of activity, simply because it will start to swell and hurt for her. With time however, her ass will get used to thrusting and feel very comfortably during anal sex.

About analingus

One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity.

Anal Sex Positions

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.

As always, control yourself. Take your time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is almost enough." Listen to her -- if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off.

Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more.

Anal sex is usually considered a 'nasty' sex and loving partners can make the best meaning of it. Good luck (you will need it much more than with straight sex)!

Work your way up to it -- as with any sex, it is often best to start out gradually, even away from errogenous zones completely. Remember how you used to fool around for hours before sex? It was pretty exciting, wasn't it. Anyway, even after you've gotten to the erogenous zones, you might consider performing cunnilingus/fellatio on them first. Simply work your way downward from there toward her anus, gradually.

An oil-based lubricant like Vaseline is advisable here, though not really for lubrication, simply because it's that final protection from any smell/taste you might worry about. Of course, you might not mind, but it was worth mentioning in case you did.

No matter what position you're using, your hands, or your partner's will probably be necessary to make access easier. You have far more control and better contact if their butt-cheeks are spread away from their actual anus.

What exactly to do, tongue-at-anus, varies a lot from person to person. Some prefer a light flicking, gently licking around the center, or gently pushing at it. Some prefer a deeper probing, with your tongue held rigid and pushed firmly inside.

Another method is to widen your tongue to apply pressure over the entire outside area...this is often much more stimulating than you'd imagine. Yet another good idea is to try firmly licking, or even sucking on, the perinium (the area between the anus and genitals.

The best method would be to combine all of these, and pay close attention to what your lover enjoys most. As in all sex, you would get them to believe in giving you a lot of feedback/signals, whether moaning, thrashing about, talking...whatever they are most comfortable with. They should increase or decrease this with their pleasure, so that you can learn what they like (it is different from person to person, this may be the most important secret of sex).

If you're going to engage in this for a long time, especially if you won't be switching back and forth between analingus and cunnilingus for texture, you probably will want to provide some stimulation to their genitals, as analingus is a pretty mild form of contact that probably won't bring them to orgasm, or even keep them heavily stimulated, all by itself.

However, remember that using your hands for stimulating her genitals will leave you short-handed for keeping her cheeks spread, so it is better to stimulate her genitals while you are in a comfortable position to freely thrust your penis in her ass.

Sex Positions 101: Because Missionary Style is Boring

2008-12-22T12:12:00.000-08:00

The Jigsaw Jackknife

How to do it: When she's lying on her side, lie down facing her. Then straddle her bottom leg and rest her top leg around your waist. You should fit together like, um, two puzzle pieces.

Tip: To maximize your momentum, grab her thigh like the oar of a slave galley and pull her against you when you thrust.

Amanda, 24, says: "He can pull me open by raising my leg higher and give me everything he's got. But, the best is when he slowly rotates his hips in a circle, like he's stirring me."

Brian says: I've never tried this one before, but it doesn't look very comfortable. My lower body would probably fall asleep, which is a bad thing. A VERY bad thing.

The Praying Mantis

How to do it: Find a spot for her to sit on that's about one foot lower than your pelvis . (Think: hood of a car, the boss' desk...) Stand at the edge, lean her back, and let her feet rest on your shoulders. Hoist her butt up with your hands so that her back forms a straight line, her pelvis is tilted upward, and your crotches are shaking hands.

Tip: Give her a bonus shot of ecstasy by encouraging her to dial "O".

Frances, 27, says: "The only time I've ever had multiple orgasms was in this position. There's something about him grabbing my ass..."

Brian says: Just the thought of fucking a girl on top of my boss' desk is turning me on right now!!
Sara, 28, says: "This is way better than the missionary position because we're lined up more evenly, so every move rubs my clit."

Brian says: I've never tried this one and I doubt I will ever do. It just looks too close-up, which is good in a way but not TOO close. I don't think I want the girl to see my eyes all rolled back when I cum.

The Cherry Push-Up

How to do it: Slide two or four inches up from missionary, but with your legs on the outside. Cup your arms around her shoulders and lie flat against her. She tilts her pelvis up, which creates a more erotic up-and-down motion.

Tip: If she wants you to fish in deeper waters, she can spread her inner thighs wider and wrap her ankles around your calves.

The Humpty-Rumpty

How to do it: She lies on her stomach, keeping her legs together. Straddle her. To make your grand entrance easier, hold her ass deliciously up, so her belly's pressed into the mattress. Slip into her and lean on your forearms for support.

Tip: If you can't get the right angle, slide a big pillow under her lower body so that she's sloped in the right direction.

Cynthia, 29, says: "He's so close to me that he can whisper nasty things to me or nibble on my ear. I love that we can be so sensual and intimate, and at the same time he's grinding me."

Brian says: This position looks way too tricky for me. It also looks like the guy on top is raping the girl on the bottom, the way their bodies joined together. However, I do like the "dirty talks" aspect. "Oh yeah, oh baby you're so tight oh yeah!!!" [wry laugh]

Brian says: This one is hard [no pun intended] for me when I tried it. After a few minutes of thrusting, my knees got all chafed up from the carpet. However if you aim slightly upward as you thrust in you'll most likely hit the G-spot. Yay?

The Jackhammer

How to do it: Have her sit on the edge of a chair or couch, legs spread, and have her lean back. Kneel in front of her and throw her feet over your shoulders. When you enter her Bermuda Triangle, your pelvis should be slightly higher than hers for maximum downward thrust. Commence drillin'.

Tip: If the couch is too high, kneel on the edge of it to straddle her. Grab the sofa for leverage.

Nicole, 24, says: "This is not a gentle 'making love' kind of position. This is my favorite way of getting it on because you're at an angle whree a guy really has to give it to you."

The Dirty Santa

How to do it: Park yourself in an armless chair that's narrow enough for her to comfortably straddle. (Avoid wicker, unfinished wood, or any other chair with a surface that has potential to pinch, splinter, or chafe your rump roast.) Then let her hop on your pogo stick and bounce up and down to her heart's content.

Tip: Keep your feet together and tilt your hips upward--this angling gives her a good grinding surface to work against.

Rachel, 25, says: "I don't know any woman who doesn't like the naughty feeling of mounting her man while he's in the sitting position. It's like an X-rated lap dance."

Brian says: This is my favorite sex position of all. It just feels so intimate when a girl straddles your body while you're sitting down and grinds her hip against yours. You can control how fast and how deep she grinds by grabbing her ass and moving her body with yours. With practice, it is possible to thrust upward in a rhythm, or move your lower body side to side and back and forth to further stimulate her clit and G-spot [provided that you can FIND where that blasted thing is]. As an added bonus, her breasts should be bouncing in front of your face. Hint hint...

Brian says: This looks boring, and I think it'll take me forever to cum. If a girl straddles then rock back and forth slowly, the legs tends to fall asleep. I'd try it, but I doubt that I will like it. Once again, it is VERY important that your lower body doesn't fall asleep in the middle of sex.

The Wobbly Wheelbarrow

How to do it: Sit upright with your legs outstretched, then have her straddle your lap and positions her legs behind your back. It helps if you lean against something, such as a wall or a headboard. Have her lift her lower body off the bed onto your lap, leaning back onto her hands for support. Then cast your rod slightly downward to meet her port of entry.

Tip: Give an assist by cupping her butt and pulling her toward you.

Molly, 27, says: "I'm in control of 'how deep' and 'how fast' in this position. I'm a huge fan of the rocking motion, because he doesn't get overexcited...and lasts longer."

Girl on the Side

How to do it: With the two of you lying on your sides, spoon her from behind (don't gag--it gets better). Have her wrap her legs around you. Then slide in, and slowly thrust.

Tip: To create a tighter container for you and more friction for her, keep her top leg pressed down with your arm.

Laura, 29, says: "This one's a winner because he's rubbing all the right places from behind, but you're cuddling at the same time."
Brian says: I think this one should be reserved for those oh-so-romantic moments in a relationship. You know, gag-fests such as Valentine's night, anniversaries, wedding night, etc etc. I would try it though, because both person gets what they want--the guy gets sex while the girl gets the cuddling.

Jackpot.

How to do it: You lie on your back and she kneels on top of you. Make the connection.

Tip: To make insertion easier and add a touch of eroticism, lick her fingers and have her rub your tip. After contact, push her forward or back to get the right grip for your ballcarrier. Top o' the Morning

Jenny, 26, says: "I like being on top not only because I get to do things my way but because I love seeing his agony/ecstasy face when I go fast, then slow, teasing him the whole way."

Brian says: I learned the hard way that giving the girl too much freedom during sex is a bad thing--they will torture you by bucking and and down, then stopping completely right before you're about to cum. Lay there like a log if you dare, I don't recommend it though.

Bow-Wow-Wow!

How to do it: With your woman on all fours, enter her from behind. In slow thrusts, move in and out of her, gradually increasing your speed, then alternating between slow and fast pace to build her O-ticipation.

Tip: Spread her legs wider for deeper penetration. Don't just grab onto her ass and pump away--do something with your hands. Lightly pinch her nipples or let her suck on your fingers. No air guitar--if she catches you in the mirror, you're toast.

Rebecca, 28, says: "What I like most is that it's a very primal position. I love being spun around and humped like an animal. I feel so vulnerable, but it's so hot."

Brian says: It's a reaaaaally bad idea to bark like a real dog while you're humping your woman from behind in this position. Feel like a porno-star though.

Muff Divers Of The World: Your woman may never let you go

2008-12-21T00:10:00.000-08:00

If you really love getting into your woman's body, all of it, and are willing to employ the single most important talent that any man can possess, Finesse, then stay right here and read on for this female's perspective on what it is about oral sex that makes a woman go weak in the knees and groan . . . for real!

You gotta really love eatin' pussy! If you are turned off by the smell, the texture, the discharge of the natural lubrication of this area or any other aspect of this act, don't feel bad. Oral sex is NOT for everyone. You should never do what you dislike even when you really want to please your mate. It will backfire in the end because, eventually, one party will begin to dread the initiation of the experience and this turns into a major bummer.

There is nothing worse than a woman gagging on a cock or a man getting grossed out by his tongue in a woman's vagina. It's a total turn-off for both parties and ultimately not worth the effort.

The great thing about oral sex is that you can look like a Poindexter and still be brilliant sexually! It doesn't matter how big you are, how hard your cock is, how broad your shoulders are, or how gorgeous your face is. Go for it, guys, and any woman of like mind can be yours!

Get Ready.
Sure, you guys have read all there is to read about foreplay. But what about foreplay before oral sex? Do all those things you love to do: kiss and fondle her breasts, make her feel that she is Venus On The Half-Shell, kiss her deeply and passionately, run your hands over all of her . . . EXCEPT her genitals. Think of this area as a wonderful exotic flower that only you can open and control. DO NOT ram, bam, slurp, or suck this area. Finesse is the key word.

Any area inside the thighs is highly erogenous. Be creative! Use your loving mouth, tongue, and lips on the areas surrounding her genitals. Be gentle. Caress and worship every connecting part of her anatomy. Take your time and really get into this. Wait until you see how hard your cock gets when your woman really starts to get aroused.

Get Set.
Keep moving. Establish a natural rhythm. Be sensitive to the way your woman's body is responding to you. If you are enjoying what you are doing, there is no way your woman won't know it. What a turn on! Remember, men, all the secrets of the universe are there before you. If you rush or become too rough, you are bound to miss the best a woman has to offer. Think of the spreading petals of a precious flower. Lift her buttocks and spread her legs ever wider. Remember, you are as gentle as spring rain and she is yielding to your every move.

Go!
When neither of you can stand it any longer, use your tongue as if it was a feather. Touch her vagina lightly, licking the labia and finding the vaginal opening. Sure, stick your tongue in and out, but remember, the REAL thing is still waiting for your mouth. Be gentle. You are not eating watermelon. This part of a woman's body is so very sensitive. Don't ruin everything you've accomplished up to this point by becoming brutal or rough.

When you sense the time is right, move to the clitoris. How will you know when the time is right? Different women give different signals. A dead giveaway is when your partner tries to position herself so that your mouth can find her. If you are properly into this act and you are in tune with each other, it is pretty hard not to know. Let her guide you and take her direction willingly. You won't be sorry.

Stimulation of the clitoris is what brings a woman to orgasm. You are now at the point where the flower is there for you and you are exerting a certain amount of power and control. Treat your woman right. Flick your tongue quickly and rhythmically against her clitoris. Use your tongue to make wide and sensual strokes from the vaginal opening to the clitoris, where you might want to linger and manipulate her a little longer, then repeat the stroking.

You can't miss! At this point, you're a natural and she will come .. . hard. And probably more than once if you continue to keep her properly stimulated.

What a treat for both of you. Simultaneous oral sex is divine too, but a certain amount of control must be exerted so that neither party gets hurt in the heat of your final moments. This most intimate and loving of sexual experiences can be a double-edged sword. If you do it right, she may never let you go! A man who knows how to give great oral sex is worth his weight in gold! I promise, you will get it back ten-fold.

Hats Off To Cocksuckers

2008-12-21T00:03:00.000-08:00

Hats off to the cocksuckers of the world. They make guys feel good often at some discomfort to themselves. I love and respect the women who have sucked my cock and treat them well. I have never seen it as a one-way street and I always (try to) return the favor.
Here's the way I like it. Yes, the hard-on's gotta be there. I never ask a girl to stick my soft-off in her mouth. Sometimes I gotta suck some tit or kiss some ass first, but I do and make sure it's rock-hard and exciting before I stick it in her mouth. It's not just a feeling, it's a whole experience.

Sight.
I like a good view of the lips and the cock. It turns me on a lot more when she doesn't handle my cock, but keeps the whole thing visible to me. Look me in the eye with a look dripping with sex. IT'S TRUE, you can have a cock in your mouth and NOT look sexy. Act like your turned-on. Better yet, relax and get really turned on.

Sound.
Slurp it up. I think the French say, "The more noise you make, the more you are enjoying your culinary delights." Works for me!

Smell.
Let's get the odors floatin'. Play around a little first. I think pheromones are the fundamental turn-on and most of us don't even know it. Personally, burying my nose in a sweet pussy while I'm gettin' sucked off is a little distracting, but sometimes I get so into the pussy that I kinda (really only kinda) forget about the blowjob. The wonderfulness of the pussy raises my interest to the max and squirt-squirt I cum about that pussy ten times harder than I would without the blowjob. A fantastic way to enjoy a pussy and I think the smell is the key.

Taste.
A delicate subject among the ladies. I've had it land in my mouth when I was beatin off in bed. Ka-tooie! I can see how you'd get used to it, but it will never be ambrosia. (Thanks again, Cocksuckers!) Back to the subject - do some kissin' or that trick that gets your perfume all over me.

Feel.
I've had hundreds of blowjobs from hundreds of ladies (I do hookers). Most feel great, some hurt, and some are boring. GET INTO IT. Being delicate with a cock doesn't make sense. Get some suction going. Keep your teeth outta the way until you learn how to use them. For me, anyway, get as much cock meat into your mouth as you can. Don't just suck his cock. Make love to it like you want it to shoot and you can't wait.

It's a whole experience. You might be 'willing' to take a cock in your mouth, but that's not enough in the 00's where lousy blowjobs are a reality. There's a major message here:

"The best I blowjob I ever had was from the girl that liked it the most herself."

That's no bullshit. Girls who really wanna suck and fuck are the biggest turn-ons of all. I suspect this is true for virtually all men.

Whore.
It's a rotten macho-women-hater's word that pretends to disrespect women who like sex. Many of the women I have known want to please their man (or men), but don't want to cast themselves as some kinda whore. Don't do that! There's no such thing as a whore (if I'm wrong, then the truth is we are all whores). Get into it. Get the negligees. Get the oils. Turn the lights on. Throw the covers back. Strut your stuff. Smother him with your tits. Get naked. Get down!

p.s. If you're hooked up with a whoremongerin macho asshole, I don't care how handsome and big and popular he is, GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE AND GO ENJOY YOUR OWN LIFE!

Penis envy: Ladies, you have a penis of your own for 24 hours.

2008-12-20T23:14:00.000-08:00

Ladies, you have a penis of your own for 24 hours. Besides THE OBVIOUS, what will you do with that bad boy?

I'll lead. Try on boxers and briefs to see which I preferred. Take a piss and see what's so hard about shaking off that last drop. Wear tight jeans and see which leg It will hang down. Wear a jock strap and see what it feels like with something in it. Stand up naked with a hard-on and see if I fall forward. Give myself a handjob and see if I'm left-handed that way too. Lay in a tub of water and see if It floats. Write my name in the snow. Try to make It swing in a figure-eight pattern. Bestow a name on It. Measure It. See if I can give myself a blowjob (hey, Ron Jeromy can do it!). Strut my stuff like a Chippendale. Stick It in a vacuum cleaner hose to see what's the big attraction. Go take a leak in a men's bathroom and check out the other guys' equipment. Try on a condom. Hide it between my legs and see if I look like a girl.

Anna H. I would get all dressed up in a nice, slinky, black dress with lots of cleavage showing (I am assuming I get to keep my breasts although I would be happy to take a break from them for a few hours) and put on a pair of black thigh high stockings (assuming that Mr. Wiggly would be rather cramped in my normal pair of Hanes Control Top pantyhose). I'd put on some rather dramatic makeup, fluff my hair, and and put on a pair of heels.

Then I'd head off to one of the meat market dance clubs where I am assured of having lots of men hanging around. Wait about an hour and head off to the mens' room. Walk up to the urinal, making sure there were guys standing there too. Hike up my skirt and pull it out and take a pee. Look at the guy next to me and ask, "This is my first time trying this out, 'cause it just showed up a few hours ago! Just how many times do you have to shake this thing anyway?" And peeking at his say, "You know, I'm a woman, and damn, I think mine is actually bigger than yours!"

Blayze10. I'd beat off a lot. And I'd swing it around and around like my husband does, dancing around the house. And I'd bend over in front of the mirror, 'cause I love it when my hubby bends over so I can see his balls and dick a'hangin.

Carol A. I'm assuming in this "experiment" that I would still have my inherent female awareness. I'd be taking mental notes, experimenting, testing throughout the entire day.

My first recollection of penis envy was when I was seven years old on a camping trip with my family. My stepbrother, Bobby, could pee anywhere . . . it was easy, convenient, and tidy. I don't know if it's me or what, but to this day I find peeing outdoors next to impossible. So, if I had a penis, I'd drink lots of water and go for a hike!

Okay, call me a sex-crazed pig, but if I had it, I'd want to flaunt it, somewhat anyway. I'd be wearing blue jeans that have a slightly faded area right at the bulge. A sure eye-catcher. But I can tell you this: I would NOT be adjusting myself in public! I mean, really! And "pocket pool" . . . naaaaaah.

Oh, and ever since I made out with my first boyfriend as a teenager, I felt awful about leaving him with "blue balls". I have a very good male friend who has told me that this is a myth, ladies. But being a skeptic, I want to verify this for myself.

I also want erections within that 24-hour experience that will make me know once and for all if there is a big sensation difference between male and female orgasms. My guess is they're very similar ... can't wait to find out for sure!

And can we conduct this experiment during the winter months so I can write my name in the snow?

Sarah. I would constantly masturbate to see how it felt and then I would have someone blow me to see what technique felt better.

Halcyon. I'd wet my finger with spit and run it along the head to see why it drives men so wild. I'd coax some young thing into kissing it for me. I'd get another guy to stand in front of a mirror so we could watch each other jerk off together. I'd dip it into wet sand on a warm beach. I'd take a shit and see if it dangles into the bowl. I'd try to pee sitting down and see if it splashes. I'd sit around on the back porch where nobody could see me and just wiggle the skin between my fingers. (No, I do NOT want it circumcised!)

Alice. I would get out the porno I hid from my husband and put it in the VCR. I would take my clothes off and jack off like he used to do leaving him out of action. And I'd let him know every ingredient I used for lubrication that day, like the stories I have heard! Let's see here: baby oil, slippery stuff, shaving cream, soap in the shower, toothpaste, cooking oil, strawberry jam, and that motion lotion that gets hot when rubbed. What he would miss while he was at work! Oh, and I would have to wait till he is on the verge of falling asleep, and in a pitiful voice, whisper, "Suck me."

Gossamer. Of course I'd play with it first . . . make it dance, draw faces on it . . . swing it around. Then I'd go pee and see if it's really all THAT difficult to wipe the rim and put the seat down. After I got that mystery solved, I would get dressed and play a little pocket pool . . . you know, I think it must be fun to have a "toy" like that around all the time. OH! I'd see what it feels like to run naked with it . . . thinking it would be funny to have that thing wackin' all around when I run. I'd scratch my balls and then get hold of a friend that would let me fuck her so I would know what that feels like.

Dee C. First of all my dick would be about 7.5 inches long and hard, very hard and uncircumcised. I would go after a virgin. It would be the most beautiful experience she would ever have. I would convince her she would have the best of both worlds: the tenderness of a woman and the hardness of a man . . .

Just imagining what it would be like to be wrapped around warm, wet, tight, soft lips. Hmmmm, it would be so wonderful, so enjoyable.

MartianGirl. Attempt to figure out what the fascination with the "pissing contest" is. I would find out why it is that men have so much trouble lasting for more than ten minutes at a time. Find out why they always have to "adjust" and what is the correct position. Do those holes in the underwear really work? Try on a pair of Speedos and find out why men seem to think they are sexy on everybody. See what "sweaty ball syndrome" feels like. Find out why my balls itch all the time.

Karen R. If I had that southern buddy for a day, I think that I would definitely be touching it . . . quite a bit, just because it's there and I can. And how many times a day do you get to touch a penis just when you feel like it? I'd probably get so worked up about having the penis that I'd walk up to other people and say, "This is incredible . . . would you like to touch my penis?"
At random intervals during the day, I would suddenly shout, "Aaaahhhh, my penis is loose, my penis is loose!" And fling it out, and run around like a chicken with it's head cut off just to see what other guys would do.

Or if I was in class at school, and I was talking to someone, and my penis all of the sudden woke up, I'd say, "Hold on a second," and look down my pants and then say, "Yep, George was trying to get my attention. We'll be right back." And walk into the nearest bathroom and make funny breathing noises.

Rosebud. I don't really think I would like having a penis for a day because it seems like it would be uncomfortable to lug around all that extra weight RIGHT between your legs. But if I did have a penis for one day I would try to stretch it to see how flexible it it, tie it in a knot, wag it around and laugh about how funny it looks, see if it really hurts as bad as men say it does when you get hit right in the package, take it out and chase people down the street with it, pee and then wipe it with toilet paper to see why men don't, show it to everybody I know, and last but not least - I would try to hang something from my erection!

Debbie R. I would jump up and down on a trampoline and see if it could keep up. Then I'd try as hard as I can to give myself a blowjob. Then I'd stick it in a pineapple on the limp thing and watch it break when I get hard. Then I'd fuck a donut until it broke, then I'd put on a pair of boxers, watch the hog hang, and walk down the road with it dangling.

Kay D. Walk around in a corporate office setting and thump people in the head with my penis.

Yvette. First, I'd name it. Can't have a stranger making my decisions, even if it is only for one day! My penis's name would be "Homunculus" which means "Little Man" in Latin. Then I'd go out and get a Prince Albert (you know one of those tres chic genital piercings). I'd also want to try that towel trick, and Other Stupid Penis Tricks I read about. Of course, I'd have to take pictures of everything, lots of pictures, especially nude ones. It's not like you have a "penis for a day" any ol' day now, do ya?

Yonita. Since I have a tongue ring, I would suck myself off to see how it really feels and since I am double-jointed, I'd try humming on my own balls to see how that feels also.

Skydanca. If I had a penis for a day, I would also like a pair of nice big, heavy balls to go with it so I could weigh them in my hand, and run my nails gently over the wrinkles and get the feeling of them tightening up from both angles; and how it is when someone puts it in their mouth with icecubes; and see what the thrill is about bumping into someone and rubbing against them; and maybe, if I am luck, I can get someone to tease me and squeeze them under a table, in the car, a sneak squeeze in the store. And what the difference is between a regular blowjob and deep throat.

Noelle. If I had a penis, I would go to work and ask for a raise. Because, at my work, you obviously need a penis between your legs to get anywhere. Then I would try and find someone who I could perform anal sex on, to see if it's really all that, and I've always wanted to use the line, "But honey, it was an accident!"

Geezlouise. Oh the joy, to have a piece of manmeat of my very own for the day!! First, I would pamper it, just soak in the tub and watch it float, tenderly drying it off, then massaging warmed lotion on it, just for the feeling. I would dance and twirl to watch it move, wear no underpants and silk to see which is better, pee with no hands, close my eyes and run my nails up the shaft and across my balls, sit back in a chair and just softly smack it back and forth from hand to hand like a penis tennis match.

Pottsy-The-Webber I would have it bronzed so I could use it later cause I just know mine would be the biggest penis that ever dangled upon these vast lands of ours!!!! Maybe I could even have a vibrator made out of the bronzed penis??? That's what I would do with mine, besides THE OBVIOUS, that is.

Masturbation techniques for her

2008-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Mission Briefing

Ok ladies, here’s the situation. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to increase your confidence and pleasure through a revolutionary new technique called "masturbation"

Know the Enemy

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed that guys tend to joke about male masturbation a lot. Women rarely if ever joke about female masturbation. I don’t believe that I’ve ever made a comment similar to "Why’s Jane taking so long? Oh she must be off in the corner pumping her pussy!" although many of my male friends would say something like that about a pokey male comrade.

There has been a longstanding reign of taboos surrounding masturbation and many women still, if they do it, won’t admit it to anyone, even their lovers. Whether or not you choose to admit that you do it, there are benefits to taking matters into your own hands, so to speak.

I believe that people who are in touch with their own sexuality have more confidence and are better lovers. They know their body and how they like to be touched. This can increase the pleasure of a sexual situation for both you and your lover. As well, being able to depend on yourself for sexual satisfaction can take a lot of pressure off of your partner who will not be totally reliant on that part of your life.

I’m not saying that masturbation is better then a lover. There is nothing comparable to the excitement and rush of having a real human being with you, but masturbation can have its own applications.

Surveillance

Its important to know "what’s down there" and much of that can be discovered by exploration. Using your fingers is probably the best as it gives the best feedback as to how you feel. However, if you are squeamish about using your fingers, then using the smooth head of a dildo or wearing latex gloves will also work.

Take the time to explore the folds and creases of the vagina and surrounding area. There should be some natural lubricant, but there may be different amounts for different women. I’d suggest using a water based lubricant like K-Y Jelly for comfort. The vaginal folds can be very sensitive, especially if they get dry, so you don’t want to rub yourself to discomfort.

Strategic Planning

Most of the time, masturbation is done spontaneously when the timing is good and the need is there. For this reason most masturbation for women happens at bedtime, waking up, or in the shower. Sometimes if they are alone, women may also masturbate when reading, watching television, ect. As long as there is some time and privacy it will usually work.

Masturbation can be extremely pleasant after a nice long bath when you feel nice and relaxed or first thing in the morning when you are first waking up.

The most important aspect of masturbation, in my opinion, is the mental. The best way to masturbate is while fantasizing. You can fantasize about a lover, a scene from a book or a movie or whatever or whomever is going on in your head. Remember, this is private, and in many ways, anything goes.

This is your time. I don’t believe that you need to feel guilty fantasizing about people other then your current lover, as long as it stays in your head. The more that you enjoy your fantasy, the better your masturbation will be. Your fantasy could be anything from the concept that its someone else’s hands touching you to the idea that you are a beautiful fantasy slave girl being brought before the sexy and good-looking prince. Its definitely individual and private.

Hand to Hand Combat

A women can massage their genitals without achieving an orgasm. While this still causes pleasant feelings, there are times when a woman wants to have an orgasm. The real difference between just massaging and working towards an orgasm is intent and focus. Just massaging is like scratching an itch, going for orgasm is like working very hard for a goal.

When a woman touches herself sexually, she is looking for spots that cause a twinge of excitement. As she finds them, they start to grow until she comes to the plateau for orgasm. The amount of time and playing that takes depends on the women and situation.

Let's assume that you are comfortable with yourself and you have your fantasy…

Now comes the time to actually bring yourself to orgasm. By touching and rubbing your vagina and clitoris, many women can achieve sexual pleasure. Take your well lubricated fingers and trace the folds and area surrounding the vagina. Pay attention to the sensitive inner folds called the labia minor and the clitoris. Some women like pressure directly on the clitoris while some prefer to stroke the sides of the clitoris for a more indirect approach.

Feel free to let your fingers move in and out of your vagina, as per what feels pleasurable and continues the build up. This is once again, very individual and so you will have to try it out to find out what feels good to you.

Bringing in the heavy artillery

Once you are comfortable with the basics, there are plenty of sexual toys or "aids" that can be pleasurable such as dildos, vibrators and a wide variety of strap-on clitoral stimulators and other assorted adult toys.

Dildos are sex toys that have a phallic shape (look like a penis).

Vibrators, well they vibrate, and can cause pleasure in genital areas.

These toys will come with instructions. I would strongly recommend cleaning the toys before and after use and putting a fresh condom on your dildos or vibrators for each use. Lubrication for your toys is a must. Water based lubricants like K-Y Jelly and Astroglide are effective for vaginal lubrication.

If you are interested in toys, we have an on-line store (the link will open in a new window so that you do not lose your place here) with a huge variety of sex toys in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Special Assignments

Here are some other interesting ways to masturbate:

Lie on a bed and put a pillow or towel between your legs. Slowly move it back and forth so that the material rubs against your vaginal area
This one was recommended: Use a stream of water from your showerhead to massage your vaginal area
Another recommendation: Use a peeled cucumber to massage your clitoris
Masturbate while stretching. A great way to get some excise too. Move into a fairly comfortable stretch position and play around. For some reason the slight discomfort seems to be very focusing and lead to good orgasms
Play around while watching porno movie or with a good erotic novel or magazine. Act out some of the scenes with your fingers or a favorite toy
If you aren’t shy, masturbating in front of a partner can be interesting
Leaving your underwear on and playing with yourself through the fabric causes interesting sensations, especially if you start to get wet

Final Briefing

If this is the mission for you, then good luck soldier (and most of all have fun!).

Even if it isn’t for you, I hope that piece was interesting and informative. Views of women and sexuality are slowly changing and there is more openess about the exchanges of ideas. I hope that we continue down that path.

Masturbation techniques for him

2008-12-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

Masturbation is a normal healthy part of life for most males. Most males do do this for various reasons. They do this for sexual stimulation, a feeling of security, self esteem etc. It is very normal and is practiced by males from all over the world. Basically masturbation is the touching, of one's self in a sexual nature for the purpose of stimulation and usually orgasm.. Now, we recognize that most males do it, but we also thought that we may be able to help take this exercise to another level with some ideas and tricks.

Always remember that all guys are different, what stimulates one guy may not do it to another. However there are basic guidelines, acting as a starting point, that help males learn what they like and where there bodies are the most sensitive. This information may also be useful to females giving them ideas on what they could do to stimulate or surprise their partner. In general it is a good idea to experiment and find out what suites you.

Without getting too technical, it's always a good idea to start off by going over the anatomy of the male genitals... just in case....

Testicles- The testicles or "balls' are the located in the sac (scrotum) that hangs below the male penis. These are usually very sensitive and should be contacted with extreme caution. They are generally not used during masturbation however it is reported that some males enjoy the squeezing and rubbing of their testicles during the process of masturbation and usually right before or during orgasm. It is strongly recommended that you consult your partner or test the water yourself as your pleasure may end swiftly when targeting this attraction

Shaft- The shaft of the penis is moderately sensitive and runs from your body to the head of your penis.

Head- The head of the penis is extremely sensitive and if often the point of no return when stimulated. When worked in cooperation with shaft stimulation for a period of time orgasm usually occurs.

BASIC TECHNIQUE

A basic technique to simple male masturbation for a lot of guys is stimulating the penis by stroking the penis up and down with your hand at different speeds for a period of time. This is done by cupping your hand around the penis shaft and stroking toward and away from your body so your hand navigates up and down the shaft.

Some people prefer to use lubricant when doing this as friction becomes a problem and extended exercise may start to hurt. Using substances like vaseline and lubricants can result in a more intense and faster orgasm, however it again, relies in the individual. A smart idea would be to use a condom which cuts down on "cock burn" and cleans it's own mess up.

DIFFERENT & ADVANCED TECHNIQUES

The following are advanced techniques that can be used for masturbating.

"Snow Mitt" - Using a thick padded insulated snow glove can usually add warmth to a cold winter's night.

"The Palm"- Use the head of your penis and rub it in a circular motion against palm of an open hand. You can try using using lubricant by putting a little bit in your palm.

"Using Two Hands" - Try using the basic motion but incorporating both hands into play and stroking your penis up and down with hopefully double the fun.

"Pillowy Soft"- To mimic the sensation of a vagina, try placing two pillows on top of each other and thrusting into them. The pillows provide friction within a soft feel. Try using a condom or lubrication to make things slide better.

"Electric Blowjob" - Using an attachment or the vacuum hose can mimic the sensation of dry sucking against your penis but for God's Sake...Be careful!

"The Finger Routine" - Try using one or two fingers and rubbing the underside of the penis up and down. Use your thumb to stimulate the head of the penis while the finger(s) do the stroking.. This technique can use one, two, three fingers or a finger from each hand. The possibilities are truly endless but the results can come really quick.

"Humping The Hand" - Make your hand into a vagina by making a fist and slowly thrusting your penis through it. Lubricant can be a good idea. Another alternative is using both hands and going fist after fist causing a never-ending vagina.

"The Belly Flop" - Use your erect penis and slap it against your belly button. Alternate speeds and contact time can work wonders.

"Skin Rollover" - Use the skin right before the head of the penis and slowly rub the head of your penis. The result will be that your shaft skin will slowly roll over the head going back and forth. This technique may not require lube and is good for a "quick fix".

"Silk Sheets" - Try using either silk or sheets and stimulate your penis from on top of the material. They way you do this is completely up to you. Use your imagination.

"Thigh Heaven" - Stick your erect penis between your upper thighs and slowly rub them together.

"The Not So Married Ring" - Make a ring using your "pointer finger" and your thumb and use this as the way to a new land!

"The Ultimate Grip"- Take a tight grasp of your penis and squeeze at different intervals alternating between hard and soft.

"Very Fruity" - Although different, many a fruit or vegetable have made for great sex in the past. Cut a hole and "Go to town"! Useful examples include watermelon, pies etc.

"H20 All The Way" - Using water to help yourself out isn't a bad idea. Try taking the shower head off and spraying different parts and at point blank range. The result can be very pleasurable.

"Greasing Elbows" - The elbows are another tool that men can used to produce friction. You figure the rest out.

TOYS AND DEVICES

If you are looking for something a little bit more elaborate, there are sex toys from artificial vaginas to pocket pussies to vibrators that can spin the juice, so to speak. You can check them out at our discreet on-line store (the link will open in a new window so that you do not lose your place here).

Basic Intercourse Tips

2008-12-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

Alright, intercourse… If you don’t know what this means we will refer to the fine art of "sticking it in’ or penetration of the vagina with the penis. Just talking about it and watching a porno can make it seem pretty easy until you have do it. However, when the time comes you may suffer from confusion, nervousness etc.

Using lubrication and ensuring foreplay can usually make things slide easier. This ensure that she is wet enough that it doesn’t hurt or the squeeze isn’t too tight. Don’t forget the porno kings and queens do this for a living and have had lots of practice at it.

Now assuming that you have passed the first test on where to put it, hehe, we move on to technique on how to have long lasting passionate lovemaking or quick rugged sex.

I mean the basic idea is to slide in and out of the vagina so both parties get stimulated, of course.

From there you can change pace by going faster, slower penetrating deeper or shallower. This usually has a lot to do with the positioning because this dictates who has the most control. An example is with the girl sitting on the male she has more control but in the missionary the man has more control over the action.

It is a very good idea to try different paces and levels of penetration. You will be able to tell what she likes by communicating or paying attention as to what works. It is always good to communicate before, during and after as to what to try and what worked and to find out what’s not working.

Some men with bigger dicks will find it easier to fill up a girl and cause more pleasure it that’s what she likes. If you are unfortunate you can compensate by movement. This movement is a circular movement while penetrating that helps to stimulate all sides of the vagina at different times. It’s basically wiggling your penis in circles while inside her. This technique can be used whether your "johnson" is the size of a building or a pebble.

Another thing you can do to get her going is try stimulating her clitoris, located on the external above her vagina at the top of her lips. If you do this, she will be happy in more than one way and it make take her less time to orgasm making you guys look good if you do it together.

On general consensus, the guy usually orgasms first and the female second. Ways to prevent this are slowing down and helping each other rise to the occasion. Please refer to the Orgasm section of this site.

Now that you know where your going, grasshopper, the rest will be in your hands and we cannot prepare you for everything so best of luck. Happy hunting!

Cunnigulus - More of Oral Sex on Women

2008-12-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

For a female, receiving oral sex from her partner is very stimulating and exciting. There are not to many guys out there that will give a female oral sex, but when they do, and when a woman finds a man who will, she has found a treasure.

Women are a great deal more verbal than men, especially during lovemaking. They respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you are petting and stroking her vagina, talk to her about it.

Now look at it again. Gently pull her lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her lips up until you can find her clitoris. This is where you will get some action and maybe even some noise if you are lucky!! The clitoris comes in all different sizes and they are going to all appear to be different in one-way or another, but this doesn’t mean anything. It does not mean anything as far as her capacity for orgasm.

Whenever you touch a woman’s genitals, make sure your fingers are wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because if it doesn’t have any juices of it’s own, it will be dry, therefore extremely sensitive. The finger will stick to it if it is dry and this hurts the female, and this is something that you don’t want to happen. But you don’t want to touch her clit anyway. You kind of have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clitoris is too delicate to be handled.

Approach her body slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, and make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her vagina, then float away, and do this a couple of times – or more if you like. I am sure that she won’t mind at all! Your goal here is to make her anticipate what she is about to encounter. Make her mind wonder what is coming next and how good it is going to feel.

Now lick the crease where her leg joins her genitals. Nuzzle your face into her. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you have done this to the point where she is bucking up from her seat and she’s straining to get more of you closer to her, put your lips right on top of her lips. (She will love this).

Kiss her gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her vagina lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. This must be done gently.

Now slide your tongue inside her. This feels define and is very rewarding for both parties involved. It also teases her because by now she wants some attention given to her clitoris. Check it out. See if her clitoris has gotten hard enough to peak out of it’s covering. If so, lick it. If you can’t see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up to the top of her vagina and feel for her clitoris. You may barely experience the feeling. But even if you can’t feel it, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin – although make sure not too hard, or you will hurt her.

Whether or not you can feel or see her clitoris, gently pull the vagina lips away and flick your tongue against the clitoris. Do this quickly, over and over. This should cause her legs to shudder and maybe even a few moans and groans! Now start to lick harder and if you can feel her clit, start to suck gently. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. Watch the expression on her face. If she digs it, keep up the great work. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don’t fight her. Hang on and keep your tongue in there. Don’t let go unless you really think that she doesn’t want anymore, which is very seldom the case at all.

There is a reason for that, most men stop to soon. Just like with male oral sex, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. There is another step that you can take to intensify your woman’s pleasure. You can finger her while she is enjoying your female oral sex talent. Some women really enjoy this and can help them to become aroused quicker, while some women do not. You are the one that has to experiment with this one and figure out what is best for her. If you do decide that using your fingers is the way to go, take two fingers, make sure that they are wet enough so you don’t irritate her skin, slide them in slowly, then a little faster. Get a rhythmic pattern going. Speed up only when she does and when you can see that this is what she wants and if she likes it. If she likes it, you will definitely know. Her breathing will increase, she may moan, she may even scream. I guess you will just have to find out for yourself!

Many women have many different symptoms when they experience an orgasm. Your woman may get red or begin to tremble. She may get hard nipples, she may be loud, or she might not make a sound. All girls are different. So you never know what you may encounter.

When she starts to have an orgasm, whatever you do, don’t stop licking her or don’t let go of her clitoris. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clitoris, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her pussy. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though; things are extremely sensitive right now.

If you play your cards right, you will get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman that can experience a long, intimate orgasm through oral sex is lucky and the man who gives it to her is very lucky. She will be yours as long as you wanted her!!

The last advice I have for you is this: After you have made her orgasm, made her slave by giving her the best oral sex she has ever had, don’t leave her alone just yet. Make sure it is what she wanted and if there were any problems at all and if she enjoyed herself.

I hope that this gives you a few pointers on how to give female oral sex. GOOD LUCK!

Cunnigulus - Oral Sex on Women

2008-12-01T21:05:00.000-08:00

Whether you’re experienced at eating pussy or want to give it a try, there are six things that every guy (or girl) should know. Oral sex is a great activity to bring into a relationship. It can bring direct pleasure to women, as well as giving a new way to experience a woman.

1) The first thing that a guy should know is how to approach the subject. There are two problems that might have to be overcome here, namely your apprehension and her insecurities. If you’re feeling nervous about performing oral sex, you can try some of these suggestions. If the area being unclean is a concern, taking a shower beforehand can be a great way to get things going and make the act more pleasant. If you are feeling squeamish about trying it, remember that eating pussy will put you a class above the rest to your woman. As well, if she knows that giving oral sex is as good as receiving she may be more likely to return the favor! If you’re concerned about not doing it right, fear not, you have this article!

Women in general are insecure about their bodies, especially their pussies. Women can’t directly see their pussies like guys can see their dicks. To women, their pussies can be as mysterious and confusing as they are to guys. To approach the subject to a reluctant woman, reassure her that she is beautiful and that she has a beautiful pussy that you just have to eat! This is not the time for pussy jokes. Instead, show her that you' re attracted the center of her sexuality.

2) Once you are both interested in trying oral sex, move yourselves to a comfortable secure place and get yourselves ready! This includes getting the woman turned on. You may already know how to pleasure her, but lots of kissing and caressing is always a good start. Your kisses and caresses should start to move down towards her pussy. Take special interest in kissing her inner thighs and tummy. Occasionally, brush your mouth or fingers against her pussy as a little tease to excite her. If she’s getting turned on then she should be eager for you to move to the next stage.

3) The third thing you should know about eating pussy, is the pussy. A pussy can be a confusing array of folds and crevices, but here’s how a pussy is shaped. The vagina entrance is the innermost tear-drop shaped opening. Immediately surrounding the vagina are two tear shaped lips. At the top of the vagina rests the clitoris. Surrounding the entire area are two larger folds. A woman’s pussy juice can be clear to whitish. While it has a distinct odor, it is virtually tasteless. Every woman’s pussy is different, so take a few minutes to get to know the one that you are going to enjoy. One of the best ways to learn about her pussy is by using your finger. Be sure that there is lots of lubrication. If there is not enough pussy juice, use commercial lubricants which are tasteless and add to overall pleasure. The tissues in the area are highly sensitive and can become raw if they are rubbed too much without enough lubrication. While you are exploring with your finger, watch her for reactions. Every woman has different spots of pleasure. Some external signs to watch for are moaning or adjusting her body to make sure your finger hits a spot or avoids a place.

To begin pussy eating, kiss around the area and bring your mouth down to her pussy so that you can begin exploring with your tongue. Run your tongue all over the area to see what places she likes the best. Let your mouth enjoy the different feels and sensations of her pussy. Eventually your exploring should lead you to her clit.

4) The fourth thing that guys should know is that a woman’s clit is the most sensitive part of her pussy. It is comparable to the head of a guy’s dick. Like a penis, it can rise and get hard until it resembles a little knob. When a woman isn’t turned on, it hides in the foreskin. Stimulating the clitoris is what leads a woman to orgasm, so stroke the knob with your tongue. A popular tongue motion is the “flicking motion” which is similar to a flickering candle. Move your tongue rapidly in and out of your mouth. Vary the pressure and angle that you push against the clitoris. This is certain to bring a woman to ecstasy!

5) The fifth thing to remember about pussy eating is to involve other activities. Try finger fucking her up her cunt or ass while you eat her pussy. This is a popular way to get her off. If she is slow in having an orgasm, don’t panic. It usually takes women longer to get off then men, so keep going. As well, don’t forget that women are capable of multiple orgasms. If you can give her multiple orgasms, she is not likely to forget your skill!

6) The sixth thing you should know is to be creative in pussy eating. Pussy eating, like anything else, can fall into the rut of routine. Spice up your oral sex by using a variety of techniques and toys. One of the easiest ways is to vary the temperature, by using cooler water or lubricant. The temperature change can be exciting to your tongue as well as to her pussy! You can also try taking a quick break from licking to blow softly over her pussy. If your woman is more kinky, sex toys from vibrators to flavored lubricants can easily be integrated into the act. The “69” position, where both partners give each other oral sex at the same time can be an equally rewarding way to eat pussy. Another option is to give oral sex anally because the anus has lots of nerve endings that can be stimulated.

So now you know the six things about eating pussy that are necessary to give a woman an incredible experience. Take your woman and show her that you are one of the guys out there who enjoys and isn’t afraid to eat pussy. Don’t forget that giving great head may be an art, but the fun is definitely in the practice.

Oral Sex on Men: Another View

2008-12-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

As I've dated men and had sexual encounters with them I've noticed that all of my lovers have liked oral sex. Because of this, I've decided to share what they've told me to provide a guide to how to give the perfect blow job.

Overcoming obstacles

I know of problems where even if you want oral sex, you're lover isn't into the idea. I've been there. Here are some things that can make giving blow jobs easier. If you're lover simply doesn't like the idea, try bringing it up gently. Make sure that your lover understands that it would mean a lot if they tried and that you don't expect them to be perfect at it. As well, giving your lover oral sex could be a great way to get them to return the favor!

When I first started sucking cock, I found that it was easiest to do when my lover and I were showering together. All the water seemed to relax me and make me feel more open to the idea.

Another way is to use chocolate pudding or whipped cream. Spread it around the penis and have your lover lick it off.

Swallowing is generally only for the more-experienced cock-sucker. For newcomers I'd advise them to swallow fast until they can develop a taste for cum. Swallowing fast prevents gagging. If your lover is uncomfortable with swallowing at the beginning, try not coming in her mouth and finishing it with a hand job until your lover feels more comfortable. Coming in your lover's mouth when they are not ready or prepared could cause them to be uninterested in oral sex in the future. That would be a shame.

Another tip that I have for beginners is to swallow often while you are sucking to avoid getting a build-up of pre-cum in your mouth.

The sucking

I like to start my blow jobs by rubbing my lover's penis over my face. I kiss it and lick it gently, then run it over my cheeks and eyelids. I'll gently massage his dick until he's nice and hard. Once he's got an erection, I'll take it into my mouth and start to suck. Some men like to have teeth rubbed gently over their cock and some men don't. If he does like it, be careful not to rub your teeth too hard. The penis is actually quite sensitive and that sort of rubbing can be painful.

I find it best to use my lips to put pressure on the penis. As I move his dick in and out of my mouth I squeeze it with intensifying pressure. I use my tongue to rub around the head and shaft of the cock. I find it useful to move the dong around in my mouth so that my tongue can get at the head from every angle.

The fondling

Another important part of giving a great blow job is to use your hands. I like to rub my hands up and down my lover's piece as I'm taking it in and out of my mouth. This gives him maximum stimulation. As well, I like to run my hands over his balls, gently rubbing them and massaging them.

It's important to read your lover as you are giving oral sex. I find that taking a break from the sucking can prolong the orgasm and make it more intense. This can be tricky though. You don't want to slow down right when they are about to have an orgasm. Slow down earlier just when they are starting to get pleasantly aroused. When I slow down, I like to stop sucking and take some time to just rub his cock firmly and lick and tease the head a bit with the tip of my tongue. When he starts to relax a bit, I'll start sucking with more intensity. Just remember not to let him get too relaxed or he'll lose interest. After slowing down once or twice, I'll build up my sucking speed until he finally cums.

The cuming

One of my past lovers once told me to press firmly behind his balls just before he came. He said that pressing there increased the intensity of his orgasm. That's something that you might enjoy playing with. Just don't press hard enough to hurt him.

When my lover comes, I usually swallow, although sometimes, he finds it as exciting to come all over my face or chest. If they want to come on me, I treat them by rubbing it up with my fingers and licking it off. If I'm feeling naughty I'll continue to lick and rub his cock after he's come. After he comes, his cock is really sensitive and continuing to rub it gives him a feeling somewhere between ticklish and pleasurable.

Finale

Getting oral sex is different for every man. Every guy has his only way he likes it. Watch his reactions as you play around and ask him what he likes. One of my lover's fantasies is to wake up while he's getting a blow job. Check and see if he has any interesting fantasies or interests. As well, don't be afraid to play around and try new things. Putting a frozen grape or ice cube in your mouth as you suck him off can give him and you an interesting sensation. As well holding a vibrator up to your cheek while you're sucking or just rubbing it on the head of his wang` can cause some guys pleasure.

No one should be expected to perform oral sex perfectly the first time. Its something that gets easier the more that its done. Now isn't that a great way to suggest practice?

Don't tell him what you want in bed - it's a sure turn off for him!

2008-12-01T07:22:00.000-08:00

So don’t do it. Don’t say: “I want you to suck me here, blow me there, lick me here, position yourself there…” sure, he is interested to know all about this, but not in bed and not after lovemaking. Be subtle. But not as subtle as a brick swinging against a wall. Tell him about yourself on earlier dates by all means. ”I love a man to go down on me,” you could say, in a restaurant, or walking down the beach. But if you say it in bed it comes over like a command. It is different if he asks you. That is OK. If he says to you in bed, can I go down on you?

Do you like being licked out? Or words to that effect, (and what honest woman doesn’t?) then just say, “Ooooh yeah, hmmm, please ...,” not some intellectual gibberish or commanding remark like “Yes, I expect it." He will fuck you off on some silent level of his mind. It is a process; don't get in the way of your own pleasure or his by putting your big foot in it. No one likes being told what to do. Everyone hates it, even if you are being paid. Asked is nice. Persuaded is OK. Have some respect for him and explore the boundaries of what he knows and coax the new knowledge forward, rather than ram it down his throat, if you don’t want him to ram it, so to speak, down yours ... Without getting your mood right first. Then he can, can’t he?

HINTS AND TIPS

Men love to see their cocks going in and out of your mouth. It’s really childish. But there it is. Position the mirrors if you need mirrors. He can see without mirrors and so can you if you look down. But it might not be too good for your neck. But glance down occasionally and take that in and out in with your mind. It’s a good one to replay when you want to punish your clitoris later on. Let's face it; we all love to run the movie of an old shag. In that regard we are just like men, and we hide it better. But they don't know. They don't lie so convincingly as we do about our little masturbation tricks. They only know if we are aroused even if we are lying to them by the wetness of our vaginas.

But the body doesn't lie!

Take those mental photographs, as it heightens the pleasure in the moment. Men love to watch themselves going in and out of your vagina. Isn't that understandable? We love it too. Half the camcorders in the world are made for those sex home movies and don’t we just know it. You might be at the stage and you might have grown out of t. Look that is his cock and that is my vagina and we are having sex, live, right now, on TV. It is very thrilling. And it is a lot of fun. This can be very liberating. But believe me, you do grow out of it. But don’t grow out of it before you have tried it. All the foreplay is about that very act. In and out. The copulation that makes the babies. It is like he is starring in his own sex film with you as his co-star. You can think of yourself as the star too. The next big fantasy for men is the one they will shell out dollars for. They buy all the porn films for. They buy all the girly magazines for. So use that too.

Forget the romantic beach sex scene ... sex is everywhere!

2008-12-01T07:19:00.001-08:00

They love to have their cocks sucked straight out of their zipper in a restaurant, in a car, in the elevator, in the office at his desk. In the stationary cupboard. In the parking lot. In the garage. Anywhere. Everywhere. Down an ally and up against a wall. The more unusual the better. They sell you the romantic beach sex scene, or the expensive hotel room, but that is all a waste of money and time. That is hotel propaganda. You can get your rocks off anywhere anytime.

One girl friend of mine is a teacher. She drives to school, everyday early, about 7.30AM. Everyday she passes this hunk of a man jogging alone along the beach and she tells me she gets really wet and wants to fuck him. She gets down the road and parks up and gives herself a good masturbatory experience and then drives on to the school. Until one day she realizes that she can have a go. He can only say no.

She stops the car the next day and she calls out to him and strikes up a conversation with him. She is neatly dressed in a skirt. (It always helps to be dressed in a skirt by the way. It’s a lot of hassle getting off your trousers for a quick one). He is delighted. He fancies her. She moves up close to him and she drums up the nerve to touch him there, right on his cock. She only had to do it once for him to know that he was being "given permission" to fuck her. He smiles and doesn't resist her. No man would. She pulls down his shorts. Ok he is a bit sweaty, but it is clean sweat. And she goes down on him using the car door as a shield from any traffic. She sucks him off for about three minutes then he spins her over and pushes her over the seat and pulls her knickers to one side and rams her from behind, and she gets a good fuck. She makes the appointment with him to meet him every day right there and so she gets to start her day not with a wank but with a shag.

She doesn't know his name and he doesn't know hers. But it’s happening. It’s happening only because she had the nerve to initiate it. How many women out there have the guts to initiate the sexual encounter and get what they want? Try it on. See what happens. Leave no room for doubt. I tell you, if there is any chemistry between you at all, it is going to happen.

Men love to have their trouser buttons and unzipped by you before you pull out the jade stalk and start sucking it, but this can be risky if you are not sure if he is clean enough. No woman really likes to suck on smegma. If you don't know what smegma is, use your imagination. It’s the grime that can build up around a man's helmet if he is at the end of his working day and hasn't had a chance to shower off.

But then by the second or third date, if you don't already know him, you will know the state of the art by then. The same goes for venereal diseases. Use your head. Caution. If you don’t know anything about venereal diseases then a good book shop or library will sort that out. Make a point of understanding that. This is not the place for that material. That is up to you to get yourself wise on. On with the show:

Men love to wank themselves off while you hold the helmet of their cock in your mouth while you are licking and sucking. They love to feel their own hands on their cock in your mouth. They like to do that with their cocks inside your vagina too. Why? Because - like us - they are familiar with their own hands. It is kind of reassuring to them. It completes the sexual fantasy, bridges it to have you a part of it.

What Tantra says about semen of two men

2008-12-01T07:04:00.001-08:00

Tantra has something to say about this. A woman must never allow the semen of two men to be inside her at the same time. That is a golden rule for all women, unless one of the two men is using a condom. But even then, energy wise it doesn’t ultimately do the women any psychological good at all. Either one on one, or more than one woman and one man. But never one woman and several men, or just two men at the same time. The semen fight and it is you, the woman that pays the price on the operating table.

The next little piece of information you need to know is that if you are a woman who has a number of lovers and or even two lovers and you alternate between them secretly then remember this. The semen is alive inside you for three full days and nights regardless of how ell you flush yourself out after a love making session. Semen is very small and it swims fast and upwards to places where the flushing won’t reach.

The semen is still inside you for three days. If you take another lover in that time and he comes inside you also, then the semen is going to fight. The semen is alive for that length of time. It is physically and psychologically dangerous for a woman to have two or more men’s semen inside her at the same time.

She might get away with once or twice, but if she does this too often, then sooner or later she is going to get ill and her gynecologist will be asking strange questions you won’t want to answer. The answer is that if you are going to have more than one, lover, then spread the space out between having sex with each one by four, five even six days and constantly flushing yourself out. Ante bacteriological soap doesn’t kill semen. Semen is not a bacteria,. It is actually the purest of all biological proteins. That is why if you swallow too much of it you will probably put on weight. But we are talking about pints of semen here, not a few mouth full three times a week. That will only make your skin improve.

A cosmetics company will one day find a formula that can use the essential proteins and perhaps produce some variation that can really produce an ageing slow down for the skin.

Ooopps, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that. Ok. Here goes for another secret.

SWALLOW THE SEMEN AND WATCH YOUR SKIN BLEMISHES CLEAR UP

A man’s semen contains nutrients that are so pure and so perfect that if a woman were to swallow his semen regularly she would notice after a few months that her skin was taking on a new luster. It makes sense when you think about it. Sperm after all is the very stuff from which babies are made. It is the masculine half of the equation. It is the purest of the pure, cleanest of the clean protein. It’s so pure and so clean that it cannot be manufactured by medical science. If medical science could produce sperm based cosmetics, they would work.

Reach and burn your orgasm to white-hot!

2008-12-01T07:01:00.001-08:00

We might take some warming up, ladies, but when we start to burn, we burn white-hot, whereas our favorite little shagging star can usually only reach red-hot. When he cums, he needs to rest up for an hour afterwards before he is fit to ride us again, whereas we can go on orgasming more intensely in waves, each wave more intense than the last until we can actually pass out from sheer pleasure. Remember that shameless woman played by Jane Fonda called Barbarella. She burned out the pleasure machine because her orgasms sucked the juice out of the machine until it caught fire and exploded. Her clitoris beat the machine. There is a holy truth in there somewhere. Shameless woman! What a great film that was. All about sexual innocence and liberation. Well-done, Jane!

Our capacity for pleasure is nine times greater than a man’s. But if you want to know why, you will have to watch this web site as the PRINCIPLE OF NINES is a whole branch of SEXUAL TANTRA and is the subject of a another booklet altogether and you are going to want to know all about that if you really want to become a goddess in bed. All women want to be goddesses in bed, don’t they? Maybe they don’t. Maybe they should. But before we run, let’s crawl, and then walk. Let’s be modest climbing that mountain called his cock and your clitoris and then maybe we can stand some chance of reaching the peaks of sexual ecstasy. Those twin peaks. His peak and your peak. You never know if we can get switched on and educate him into how it works for us; it may even cause a sexual revolution. It’s about time there was another one of those. Men and women, let’s face it, love to fuck each other, we all love a good shag, and if we say we don’t, we are either lying, or we need a doctor.

So let’s call it what it is. If we need highbrow, intellectual, artistic discussion on the point of female pleasure, literature has many wonderful examples, in the works of Simone de Beauvoir, and Anais Nin, both exceptionally gifted courtesans of genius, and wonderful writers. Perhaps those tow illustrious legends of sensuality and female sexuality would agree with this approach: Don’t tell him what you want. The accent is on the word “tell”. That is a sure turn off for most men. If you say “no, I want you to do this, or that” in the sack, it will just make him think you are a domineering bitch and turn him off the idea of a good shag. And you are! Face it. If he starts to suck on your nipples and you push him down to your vulva, he may like it and he may not. If he doesn’t like it, you’ve blown it. If he likes sucking your nipples he may work his way down there. Be patient.

Sex with two Women and one man

2008-12-01T06:57:00.001-08:00

It’s called The Gobbling Fishes. Some women in the west may feel uncomfortable with the idea of going with another woman in bed with one man. It will turn him on. Men are forever fascinated with the idea of having sex with more than one woman. Women find each other much more erotic and sensual than men find each other. A man loves to watch two women playing with each other. It’s a real turn on for him, a real treat. It can also put us women in touch with the more sensual side of our nature. Its not strictly speaking a lesbian encounter when there is a man present in bed, and involved in the sexual act, but it is nevertheless a lesbian type of experience. This is less trouble some to women that it is to men. Men are either that way inclined or they are dead against sexual involvement with their own sex. They are strictly straight. Strictly heterosexual.

A good red-blooded male attitude, too, and not to be discouraged. Occasionally you come across a bi sexual male, but mostly men who love to go with two women at the same time are fairly confident about their sexuality and fairly confident about their ability to satisfy. It can be quite nerve wracking if you have never done it before. So much depends on your choice of partner and even if you manage to get the right two partners, another woman and the right lucky man, there is the issue of dealing with the attendant guilt. You have to make certain that you go into a three some with a clear decision that you are not going to feel guilty about it afterwards. That guilt would take the shine right off a potentially very interesting experiment in your own sensuality. It should be encouraged.

The man will probably think that a sexual encounter with two women “at the same time” means, first he goes with one of the women, and then with the other, alternating between the two of you. But it need not be like that. One woman can go down on his, giving him a good blow job, a fellatio ...

... gratification if you want the posh expression, and the other gives him the full sensual lip exploration, mouth kissing, body fondling. Both of you can go down on his, taking it in turns to take the phallus in your mouth. That can be very exciting for all involved. One can be licking on his balls, the other giving him the sucking off. Again alternating. Then, if you are firmly in the driving seat and in synch with your fellow girl playmate, you can take in turns to “ride” the Bronco. Sliding on top of his cock for a bounce, and then controlling yourself and giving your friend a chance. While she is on him, the other can be shagging him and vice versa. But whatever you do, stay involved. Don’t roll over and let her have it off with him. Waiting your turn. Stay sensually involved, no matter who is getting the ride. Swap over regularly. He will think he has died and gone to heaven. It’s a good sign, it means you are doing something right. But there is way you can both be directly and intimately involved, and it comes from Tantric Yoga. It is called the Gobbling Fishes, a direct reference to the appearance of your pussy.

The positioning is as follows. If he does not instigate this himself, and he may not know, or have even heard of it, then her is your big chance to teach himself about love making. Something for him to tell all his friends about. The larger one of you girls, if there is a noticeably larger one lies on her back on the bed and spreads and arches her legs nice and comfortably. The second girl, the lighter one then straddles her. Now, here’s the tricky part. The idea is you rub your pudenda bones together so that your vaginas are making direct contact with each other. The girl underneath may find it more comfortable if she raises her hips up. Put a pillow under your buttocks to support that extra bit of lift you need. Maybe even two pillows, whatever you need to get that lift, so that your pelvis can rest easily and without strain.

Not inserting into either vagina but right where the clitoris ...
Now you maneuver your willing male subject behind the girl on top. You get him to insert his penis between the Gobbling Fishes. Not inserting into either vagina, but right where the clitoris would make contact with his penis at the same time. Picture it. OK. Then you rub and move together, his in and out motions are directly massaging both your clitoris areas simultaneously, and this excitement causes the vaginas to open up and moisten into what the ancient ones called the Gobbling Fishes, because the vaginas now look like the mouths of two gobbling fishes. It’s a simple description, but an elegant and perfect way to involve two women simultaneously in love making with one man. This will also enable him to make love to both of you without feeling that either is waiting in turn.

You can be kissing each other and fondling each other’s breasts and his hands will be most comfortably be resting on the buttocks of the one above, and occasionally sliding under your belly to fondle your waist and hips and breasts and belly. Gradually, as the lovemaking continues apace and excitement mounts he will begin to slide his penis first into one of your vaginas and then into the other, alternating the thrust from one to the other at each stroke, or every few strokes. As he does this you continue to rub your pudenda bones together, and the one underneath can even jam her thumb and forefinger into the clitoral areas of both of you and keep the feeling of clitoral excitement mounting as he thrusts alternately into each vagina. This combination works so supremely well and can being all three of you to a shattering climax.

The one on the bottom can also change places with the one on the top if this is comfortable and you feel comfortable. Experiment. Guide him into these experiences. Educate him into these pleasures and be receptive to any variations on the themes he may creatively introduce. These techniques are not hard and fast.

Be sensitive about the climaxes. The chances are the two women will be able to synchronize their climaxes more easily together than with the man, but if one should come before the other stay with the process and bring the other off. If he cums first, before either of you then you keep the motion going, rubbing and masturbating each other, and if he gets off then don’t stop. If he is sensitive he will go down on one of you while the other woman goes down on her friend and finishes the sexual process that way, to orgasm. Use your imagination. Go with the feeling.

The Gobbling Fishes was a common love making posture among the emperors of Ancient Asia and China many thousands of years ago, where noble men and women practiced multiple lover sex. This was worked up into an art form, and became a very refined form of sexual gratification. It is only just beginning to become recognized and used again as the ancient manuscripts are becoming translated and appearing in the West.

The Gobbling Fishes doesn’t take much practice, it just takes a little courage, choosing the right partners and combinations of partners and being sensitive about each others sexual excitement process. If you develop and practice this with the same partners each time, then at a later point you can introduce new partners to the process and gradually extend your repertoire of experiences.

Sex with four women and one man

2008-12-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

The logic behind this numbering of four women is simple. One on one is the way we have chosen to have it in the west, unless you are Arabic and can been of several wives to one man, or a Mormon, where multiple wives are also permitted. But by and large its one on one. Two can arouse jealousy eventually between the two women when a man’s starts to sexually “prefer” one of the women over the other (And he may not do that, but it is rare, a rare man who will share with both women straight down the middle); three women, then we are cats. We always gang up on one, or the poor mite that gets ganged up on by the other two. Inevitable. It just happens. Two will always gang up on one in a three-woman-scene. Trust me on that. If you don’t believe me, try it and see what happens. It will happen. Even among very gentle, fair minded and intelligently sensitive women. It’s the way women naturally behave. We can be pretty ferocious with each other, much more than any man can imagine, in fact. So the answer is four women. Equanimity. No ganging up. If two gang up on one girl, the other will even the score naturally. Rarely will three gang up on one, and if that happens, the man will choose the one ganged up on, so that back fires. These social dynamics come from the observances of ancient tantric teachings and have been proved to be true down through the ages.

PRELUDE TO AN OVERTURE

Aroma therapy and massage.
Once you have picked your fellow lady accomplice for the Gobbling Fishes tantric Act, and you have persuaded your lucky man, and its all arranged, try a little poetry and music before you get undressed and jump in the sack together. Women take a lot more warming up than men. He might be grateful. At first he might feel outnumbered. Make him feel at his ease, at whose house or apartment has been chosen. (If not a hotel will do). Spend some time warming up.

A glass of red or white wine wouldn’t go amiss, either, but don’t overdo it. It will be enough just to loosen up, relax and feel comfortable. If you are all real new then you will be into Aroma therapy and Massage, and where there is a threesome combination like this, aroma therapy and massage will just work an absolute treat as a prelude. Nice smelling oils, taking it in turns to give each other a rub down and progress into love making gently and naturally from there. After all, what’s your hurry. Make sure that you are all comfortable about time and that you are all agreed that you all have plenty of time and that one of you, especially him, has to leave early. Make sure that you choose a day that you all have time to play. Soft lights, good music, oil, and take your time.

How to give a blowjob - what you never dared to ask about

2008-12-01T06:53:00.002-08:00

It always surprises men that we women have to actually earn this. Here is a hot-hot tip for you that will make you feel good about giving any man a blowjob. He has no idea that you don't know how to give one. He thinks all of us know how to take it in the mouth. He doesn't know that like any art form it takes practice. But the fact that he doesn't know that you may not know anything about it is a big plus for you. You are already in front in the blowjob department. Keep it that way.

So how to give him a blowjob?

The first blowjob rule is obvious.

Don't tell him you haven't given a blowjob before!
Don't tell him you are not good at it!
Don't tell him you have blowjob little experience!
Don't give him any idea that you aren't good at it.
Don't ask him how to!

If you do he will go on a bit of a depression about it. He might even back out.

If all this is true, you get comfortable. You feel comfortable that he is clean and sweet. You play with his balls and his cock. You run your fingers up and down the shaft, you wank off a bit here and there, and you look interested.

Let me stress that: You look interested! It’s your interest in his cock that really turns him on. You have to visibly in his eyes want that cock in your mouth. He can tell if you don't ad its a turn off. So want that cock and want it a lot wan it vigorously and with interest. As with everything practice makes perfect. Blowjob practice!

Once you have got that straight, then you lick around the helmet.

The whole helmet on a man is one big pleasure dome. It will drive him crazy with pleasure if you lick and suck that. It makes him feel "loved" if you let his cock in deep, right up to the balls. Get his cock balls deep in your mouth, and sometimes hold it and wank him at the same time and sometimes let go our hands and let your mouth do it. He will hold onto your head and he will start to thrust his pelvis at your face. That is a good sign. A sign that he is really into it. But keep varying the blowjob speed. Come back up to his helmet frequently to excite it. If he wants to cum in your mouth than you are winning. Don't show any fear of that cum. It’s hot and sticky and very pleasant and if you have never swallowed cum before then practice it. It’s the biggest come back for more turn on you can do. Once he has cum in your mouth he will probably get up the steam to get up your vagina too. He will want to do that just because it makes him feel good to have been inside you in two places.

More penis secrets

2008-12-01T06:53:00.001-08:00

Or rather his penis wants to be up as many women as possible, and the poor man has to follow it, unless he has some will power to control his penis. His penis is an intellectual force to be reckoned with. Sometimes that works to our advantage and sometimes it works against us. If we are married to him, it can work against us. It is called infidelity then. If he isn’t married to us, and he isn’t married at all, then it works for us, and he is fair game, and so are we. We are all hunters in the fields of sex play. This is best illustrated straight from nature. Take the old fashioned male sheep, the ram. You put one ram in a filed full of ripe female sheep and that ram will want to inseminate every single sheep in the field. He will mount each one until he drops.

He will keep going until he literally cannot “do” another sheep. That ram is hard wired to inseminate as many sheep as his energy will permit. Men are the same. You put a man in a room with ten women all of whom are accepting of him and who are sexually attractive to him and that man will want to shag every one of those women. He is hard wired that way. He will, to put it bluntly, fuck and fuck until he drops from sheer exhaustion, around the clock. The point is that this is a natural genetic impulse. It’s meant to be that way. The procreation of the human species depends upon that genetic hard wiring. It can’t be changed. Neither should it be. The resultant social tensions of a man actually doing that are what half the women’s magazines in the world discuss endlessly week in and week out. There is always some new variation on the theme. But when you boil it down, that is what it all comes down to. He wants to fuck everything with a vagina, and women want him to dedicate himself lovingly and forever to just one woman, just one vagina. That brings me to another question. A big one.

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Every one has heard that great Tina Turner song,” What’s love got to do with it?” Indeed! Even if he loves you and you love him, that genetic hard wiring doesn’t change. It may cause him to be loyal, socially conditioned and accept his lot as hunter-gatherer for the family, and help the social fabric to stay together and foster the family spirit. But really, you could say that even with love and marriage, when it comes to sex, love hasn’t got much to do with it. A woman wants to be taken care of in marriage and if hubby is good at that, and keeps us satisfied in bed too, the chances are that we will be faithful to him.

But the number of working women who are sexually unfaithful to their working husbands is shocking and unprintable. Everyone lies about it to keep the peace. OK, there are loyal husbands and there are loyal wives. Of course there are. And love has everything to do with it. And the way you have been brought up. And social conditioning. But sex by and large has a mind of its own. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so much attraction between us going on, would there? Think about it. The only thing that stops us and men from getting it on more in and out of marriage is mostly fear. But those fear barriers are coming down. Men and women are growing closer and more accessible to each other each year. Feminism is dying out. One of the biggest causes of Feminism is sexual frustration. Sexual frustration has a lot to answer for. This booklet is about how to make sexual frustration a thing of the past.

Sweet smelling pussy - all the tricks

2008-12-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

Learn the process that works for you. But don’t turn into a matriarchal bitch and order him to follow your rules. That I am going to make a Don’t Do Rule Number SIX because it’s really important we turn the corner on that one. What you should remember here is that the process involves your sexual partner too and on a first date what do you know about each other’s process in bed? Zero. So stay aware and take mental notes without blinding your emotions off. Feel, but think too. Before he goes down on your sweet smelling pussy, you might have to take a shower before you get into bed and let him feel confident about your vaginal cleanliness, and even say to him, “my pussy is nice a squeaky clean and smelling of your favorite fragrance darling”, just tell him in a polite way that he can come to dinner in your lap with absolute confidence and make sure you are as good as your word.

You might not get a second chance unless he is the hairy forgiving type. Don’t count on that. Before he goes down on you, his process might be that you will go down on him first just to give his first taste of his own hard on for you. Re read that. Everyone misses this.

His first hard on with you.

No woman really cottons onto how important it is for a man to gain the confidence with a new woman of his first hard on. Just like men are virgin crazies, women have a thing about it too. Every woman is a virgin with every new man she lets in, so every man’s first hard on with a woman is virgin territory for him too. It’s a big turn on. First time in the secret garden. He will know if he wants to fuck you hard, or if it’s a timid little hard on, or if it’s a normal well practiced hard on, or if it’s a helmet exploding hard on, a rock star blistering hard on, a battle cruiser hard on. His Process is the point here. Be sensitive to his feelings about his hard on. So here is a tip: Don’t be over relishing it, but if he sees your mouth wet and slippery to gobble onto his helmet hungrily and with obvious satisfaction, the timid little hard on will start to become an Apollo rocket hard on.

Once he gets excited by the idea that you can excite him, he may want to show you what he can do with your clitoris. And he won’t be inclined to be selfish about it for the very good reason that he is going to know early on that he is in for a mind exploding blow job from you later on, and believe me, ladies, you will want to give him that mind blowing blow job after your third orgasm out of sheer gratitude.

A word on his cleanliness. You don’t need to leave his cock to him there. You go to the bathroom and if you haven’t been already necking and sleazy in the shower with him, you give him a sensual cleansing helmet and balls and cock wash, either in the shower or on the bed and you do it sexually. You can make that part of your lovemaking and he won’t mind if he thinks you are going to suck him off vigorously and with interest. If you do a bed wash, then play the fantasy nurse. They all like that. Men are selfish bastards like that and it is a good thing they are. It gives us women a chance to explore his vital statistics at close range.

He will love you for swallowing his cum. Swallow it!

2008-12-01T06:49:00.001-08:00

He will love you for rubbing it all over your body. He will love you for accepting his orgasm. It’s your way of accepting his ecstasy as part of your own. Its a sure fire turn on. He will probably want to buy you things afterward and take you out to dinner and give you plenty of attention, for the simple reason that you gave it to him at that crucial moment. But if your energy doesn't work together you may find it hard at first, but give it time.

GETTING HIM TO GET YOU INTO BED

It is simple. NO man would refuse if you told him straight: Take me home and fuck me. You won't need to say it twice. Most women are wired to play all sorts of games first. To play cat and mouse.

To decide whether they want to or not, and not on the first date. This is a matter of temperament. He may think, you thin, that you agree a slut if you say it straight like that. He may and he may not. He may be grateful that he doesn't have to go all round the houses to get you where he wants you, under him, naked and with your legs wide apart and your mouth open. He may think you are a slut and he may be an uptight git, too. You can work this out and judge the right approach. But if you want to be sure of getting him in bed, and take it out of the maybe and Maybe Not arena, then you can give him the look with your eyes and if he doesn't quite have the bottle to tell you he wants you, then you can nestle up to him and kiss him on the neck and simply whisper the words, "I want you, tonight"...that is the same thing. He won't need a second reminder. You just decide where and go.

The number of missed opportunities because women feel that they have to play the stupid game of making him guess if he is taking a risk. This can be fun for the Romeo type of man who wants to challenge himself and see if he can score with you. But most men would be afraid of getting rejected at the crucial hurdle and resign themselves to wanking about it later on in the solitary lonely bed. It is a shame, when you could be shagging all night with him instead. Sure, you might go off and score somewhere else if the night is young and so might he, but why chance it? If you fancy him, and he fancies you, and you want to get between the sheets tonight, then a man will not refuse if he knows he is home and dry. He is not going to turn down a definite shag with you. I told the man I had fancied for years, when he flew over from England to the States to see me, on the phone straight out, so he would think about it all the way. I just said it to him on the phone, to take all the guesswork out of it for both of us. I simply said, "When you get here I want to sleep with you". He just said, "I am on my way" He came over and I met him at the air port and we went home and went straight to bed, then we caught up on each other's news and it all worked out. He would not have said it to me. So I said it to him. He bought me some cologne on the plane.

Pussy smells? He'll never go down on you again

2008-12-01T06:47:00.001-08:00

That goes for dress codes and hairdos and everything else, but never quite as much as a smelly pussy! Make sure that when you go to bed with him for the first time that your pussy smells fragrant and flower like. Nothing even vaguely smelly can be allowed. He may go down on you and if your pussy smells, he will be up like a shot and even go off the idea of sticking his cock in you. The olfactory sense, the sense of smell, is one of the basic instinctual magnets that pulls or repels men and women to and from each other. He may think you are gorgeous. He may think you dress beautifully. He may think you are smart, clever, and all the rest, but if he goes down on you the first time and your pussy smells bad to him he won't go down on you again and that id final.

You will have to apologize for a smelly pussy and coax him into trying again at a later date and you know how embarrassing that is. Same with a smelly cock, but a cock is easier to keep clean than a pussy.

PUSSY HYGEINE

Obviously there are all sorts of hygienic tools on the market these days. Vaginal wipes, scents that don't sting and fresh colognes. But nothing makes your pussy smell sweet quite like a good shower before you have sex, and if you have recurring bacteriological problems than go and see your Gynecologist for god's sake and get it sorted out. He will give you any number of things from antibiotics to anti- bacteriological soap. Its bacteria build up that causes bad pussy breath and it’s a real turn off for any man. Any man that is turned on by bad pussy smell you shouldn't be dating because he is probably weird in other ways than that, too.

It will do wonders for your sexual confidence in bed if you know your pussy is wet for him to lick out. If it isn't he probably won't give you a second chance. The nose has a very long memory as we ladies all know. We are, after all the world's experts on scents. We spend enough of our hard earned cash on every kind of scent and cologne. Shame to spoil it all by spreading your legs for him and giving him a whiff of a badly smelling pussy. Enough said. You can easily check if your pussy smells. Just put your finger down there and smell it. If you don't like the smell, he definitely won't.

CUNNILINGUS GETTING LICKED OUT..

There are few men who don’t like going down on a woman’s vagina and giving us a good licking. And there are even fewer women who don't like being licked out. It's one of the most fantastic turn ons in the universe and it can come at any time in the love making process.

It can and usually does come at the beginning. You may have gone down on his first and given him a good blowjob and then it is usually good manners and courtesy to give you the same treatment and he will have different styles depending on his personality. Some men are very confident at this. How can you tell if he is confident? He will go down on you and brace your legs in his arms and elbows so that you can't close your legs and squirm away when you start to get really excited, as we sometimes want to do. That kind of man has had experience of us trying to breach our own orgasm because, as he knows, because of its intensity. Getting your clitoris firmly licked by a man's tongue and the inner labia of the vagina excited by his tongue and lips is heaven on earth, and a man who can make us cum that way is really a friend for life no matter what he does.

We are suckers, if you will forgive the pun, for a damn good licking out and we love it even more than a good fucking sometimes. It is all our pleasure. He loves it because he has our clitoris all to himself and we are at his absolute mercy, which is where he wants us, and let's face it, it’s where we want to be. Spread-eagles with legs apart, and body shaped like a star and a man between our legs. He can lap away and find out how to do it. He won't need too much coaxing and teaching, believe me, and if you try and tell him to do it there and there and here and all the rest, well, as I said before, don't, unless you want him to stop more quickly.

Ideally we women want to be taken all the way to our first orgasm before penetration by a lick out. That is ideal If he can come up trumps on that one, then we are going to be nine times more responsive to him when he rears up and stuffs his cock inside and pumps away. If he has got us on the crest of a wave by lapping away at the clitoris then if we are lucky we get the second wave of orgasm when he enters the vagina...and that is successful love making.

His cock in your mouth - the blowjob FAQ

2008-12-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

The smart men keep their mouths shut and they are the one getting shagged the most, believe me. So bear that in mind The Next Hot Tip about positioning yourself is this:

Men love to position themselves above you and slide their cocks into your mouth from on top.

It can give you a crick in the neck, but it’s a turn on for a few strokes at least. Why do they love this? Because the have brought themselves almost to climax in your vagina and now they want to see themselves cumming inside your mouth and its the fastest easiest maneuver they can make at the point of climax. Don' be ashamed. Don't push him away. Don't turn your head away. Just open your mouth and let that cock slide right in and let that cum explode into your mouth and make sure you let it stay in your mouth and even stick your tongue out a little bit so he can see his cum on your tongue and in your mouth, then slowly, slowly swallow it.

He will be watching every move you make and he will love you to bits and you can bet your last penny that he is coming back for more of that. That is a finale that will fuel his wanking for years to come and so he is coming back for a replay and a replay. It’s an endless fascination for him. He will never tire of it. Never. And if there is another woman in the room licking his balls he will find the energy from somewhere to fuck her too. Believe me. He is hard wired to fuck, just like we're hard wired to receive. Why fight that? You can't really. All you can do is disguise it and if you disguise it too much you will be in bed masturbating again tonight instead of getting yourself penetrated. Choose.

LIPSTICK? It Works WHILE SUCKING HIM OFF.
Most men like a woman to be wearing lipstick. When you suck them off it sharpens the definition between his cock and your mouth. The redness of the lipstick is the unconscious connection to your vagina. It is the acceptable face of your vagina to him. That is the psychology lesson: Mouth equals vagina. Lipsticked mouth equals hot slippery vagina ready for sex to his unconscious mind. It is that simple. That is how lipstick is sold to women. Some sex manuals even go so far as to say that the shape of a woman’s lip (it is akin to the shape of her vaginal lips). Your lips are the visible vagina to him. He can see your lips all the time. He can't see your vagina. He gets his chance to come between your red lipsticked lips and he is a happy man. We women love to know that our power is to give the man his ultimate pleasure and the more we show him where the boundaries of his pleasure lies the more likely he is to take us to the boundaries of ours. That is not a bad deal in any sex manual.

Sex In The Shower for Women

2008-11-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

How do you get him erect in warm water? The recipe is pretty simple. Find a couple of inflatable neck pillows, run a bath, and add an invigorating herbal scent instead of something flowery. Get inside, relax for a while, and let your fingers do the walking. Add bath gel or mild soap, and let your hands do the rest. Pull yourself closed so your legs go over his thighs, soap up Mr. Stiffy, and go to town. You can vary the standard bathtub hand job by nestling behind him. Sit upright while he reclines against your breast. Start with the back, shoulder or head massage while you kiss and lick his neck. Reach around him, or slide your hands under his arms, so that you can nab his nipples. Again, work your soapy hands lower and watch his grower become a show-er. Obviously, this technique works well on you with the positions reversed.

It’s pretty easy to figure out that you can do just about everything in the tub or under the shower that you can do lying in bed. You can give your guy a pretty vigorous hand workout standing face to face to him, or with you on your knees. Whenever you’re engaging in shower action, keep your back to the water so that your face isn’t constantly bombarded by shower spray. And don’t forget the rubber mat. You want him to swoon in ecstasy, but you don’t want him to slip and crack his head open. Moreover, your knees will be a lot happier with a little cushioning.

Speaking of being down to your knees, you might want to try some oral action while you’re both in the morning shower. Start with hugs, kisses and soaping him up all over. Drop that little inflatable pillow on the floor of the tub, kneel on it, and don’t forget to come up for air every once in a while. The water will feel great on both of your heads and, when you’re done, you might suggest that he try working with that pulsating shower massage on you.

Princeton Belly Rub

Let’s talk about a dryer technique, which is called the Princeton Belly Rub. The basic position is face-to-face, lying down. The guy on top is in a push-ups position, with elbows bent or on the bed. While your legs are open, his legs are straight out between yours. Then, he can press Mr. Stiffy against your love button and starts rocking back and forth using his toes for leverage. You might try massaging his buttocks or nipples while he’s doing this. After climax, just use your nearby hand towel to dry off your belly. This is such a vigorous workout that it’s a good idea to make sure you’re a satisfied customer first.

Backsliders

While most men enjoy rubbing their penis between a woman’s breasts, it might be impossible for the bosom-ly challenged. An alternative here is the backslider. This is where you lie facedown on your stomach, while he places some lubricant on your bottom (as opposed to IN it), between the cheeks. Your guy lies on top, or straddles on his knees, and glides his shaft between those golden globes. Like the Princeton Belly Rub, it feels great and is totally safe. Just remember that this is only a short step away from backdoor sex – you’ll get your bottom massaged pretty well, too. If you decide to proceed that way, you’ll need more lubricant and a condom.

The Pearl Necklace

This safe and simple alternative has the woman lying on her back with the guy straddling her waist. You can tweak his nipples, stroke his inner thighs, play with his testicles, or play with yourself for that matter. In the meantime, he has his way with himself, masturbating until he reached orgasm – you can help out by squirting a little lube in his hand – and directing the semen where you want it to go – your face, your neck or your breasts. Hence the name pearl necklace, which can mean any style, from a simple choker to a luxurious opera length strand, depending you your partner.

This technique is extremely exciting for men because they know how to handle themselves exactly the way they like, and because they never cease to love watching themselves come. In theory, the woman doesn’t have to do a thing expect suggest the whole procedure. He can have a party all by himself, and you can close your eyes and think about the sale at Saks. But you know our feelings on that: no tennis bracelets for sitting around with a bored look on your face. For better results, you should be actively involved, urging him on, with interest and enthusiasm. For variety, you can work in some of your own hand techniques, directing his ejaculation toward the neck, thereby fashioning your own strand of pearls.

M&Ms

… the nickname for mutual massage. It’s completely safe; you both get what you want and you can use any preferred lubricant as long as you don’t move into intercourse. Although men know that when Mr. Stiffy needs attention, he’ll take it from just about any place he can get, including his old, cherished friend, Mr. Hand. So why do so many men have problems with handling themselves in front of a woman? Some of the reasons popped up in yet another of our informal polls included a fear that you’d think he was gay or – worse – a geek if he knew how to toss off to well, that they’re obsessed with going “all the way” and won’t feel complete unless they do, and that they’re just plain lazy and want to do all the work. (The last response had a slightly bitter note on it; we suggest you try not to think along those lines with your partner.)

One more reason came out when a friend of us told us about an experience she remembered from college. Seems like one of her girlfriends ended up in bed with a guy and fell asleep. When she awoke, she was horrified to find him tossing off and about to shoot a shot on her. We think she probably shouldn’t have been so shocked. After all, boys will be boys, especially in college, and he was probably ready with a story about the dreaded blue balls. But she was out the door before either his explanation or his ejaculation, and the girl told just about everyone she knew. The poor guy became known for his tossing off all around campus, and everybody made fun of him. Maybe it was just college high jinks, but it does appear that men are not quite as comfortable when it comes to self-stimulation. This is probably changing, but you still may encounter a little of the old-school shyness.

Sometimes your partner may not have the right touch for you, so you have to take your tings into your own hands for a while. The obvious thing is for him to handle himself, too. So how do you, as a straight woman, let your partner know that it’s okay for him to toss off? You could try working on yourself, and hope he does the same. You might also let him know that you like to watch him. This is also a way for you to hone your own manually skills by keeping an eye on exactly how he handles himself. However it happens, just remember that everybody likes M&Ms, and not just green ones …

Combo Platters

Just like when you’re at the shoe salon and can’t decide between the Prada pumps, the Ferragamo flats, or the Blahnik boots, the answer is to go for all three, because you’ll always find an occasion to use them. Following the fashion rule of mix and match, you’ll want to combine some of your “do not enter” techniques for maximum enjoyment. After some kissing and massage action, get him into position for a little Princeton Belly Rub. If he likes this, he may get close to climax, so be careful not to let him pass the point of no return. Go back to some hugging and nipple action to cool him down for a couple of minutes. Next, have him lie on his back, then it’s your option to do manual labor, oral action or both. You can work on
yourself a bit during this, too, and he should figure out that it’s his turn to do the same to you. When you both feel really hot and bothered, and you think it’s time to let it rip, the move into position for some M&Ms. Lie on your back, and have him straddle above you on his knees. You may want to work a little magic on him to keep things moving. If you haven’t yet, put some lube or lotion on your hand or tummy to keep things smoothly. Try working in some massage techniques. When you decide you’re ready, just start handling yourself. Keep your eyes on him so that he knows you’re enjoying watching him, and he should overcome any shyness about tossing off on you.

Wait here

“What do I do while I’m waiting for him?” Even though you may be thinking about how your nails look, it’s probably not a good idea to whip out your Revlon and start polishing. Ideally, if you’re doing M&Ms, you should both be able to have an orgasm at around the same time. In rare instances, however, your guy may take a lot longer than you. If you find yourself in this situation, you’ll want to help him along as much as possible. While he’s tossing off, whip our all your tips and work on his nipples, inner thighs, buttocks and testicles. He should get a charge out of that. Holding his testicles with one hand and pressing around the base of his shaft in the “L” formation should also bring him closer to orgasm. If he needs a little more lube, squirt some onto his penis or into his working hand.

The important thing to remember is that you don’t want to seem uninterested in his orgasm, and the truth is, you probably ARE interested in it. He’ll like your hands massaging and touching him, so he doesn’t feel like he’s flying solo. He’ll also like it if you gaze admiringly at Mr. Stiffy and give him a warm, affectionate sigh of happiness for a job well done. That way, he’ll know you’re happy and that it’s okay for him to let loose, too. So hold on, relax and enjoy the view.

Position 69s: Whipping, Hummers and Tinglers

2008-11-28T08:33:00.000-08:00

However, there’s an awful lot of acrobatics involved I this style of 69, and they probably don’t do it as much as the porno mags would have you believe. For one thing, if the man is above you with a hard-on, it’s pretty difficult to get it into your mouth at the correct angle. And if you’re on top, he has to be short enough, and you have to be tall enough, to make all the parts fir together. Besides, you’ll probably get pretty tired of bobbing your snatch up and down so he doesn’t suffocate.

Let’s suppose the heights are right and you’re on top. Slide your buckwheat roll under his neck to support his head and bring it where you want it. You might try sitting on his chest for a bit, knees bent along his sides, while leaning forward to give him a BJ. Suggest that he massages your back and buttocks, since he’ll be looking at them anyway. He’ll probably be creative enough to figure out what else he can do to you with his hands. Now, you will be approaching his erect manhood from the opposite side. This angle can be good or bad, depending on his equipment, and where he likes to be licked most. If there is a slight curve in his penis, then you might be able to allow a bit more of it to enter your mouth which is good. You will still want to keep one hand at the base of his penis to keep it standing at attention, and you will also be able to add the ring and stroke techniques as desired. This position is generally good because it allows for deeper penetration, a high degree of control on your part and is pretty comfortable for you. Besides him needing a long and nimble tongue, the disadvantage is that he can’t see the action, and we all know how much he loves to see his magic wand stand tall and proud. Forget this position if he is really tall or has a pipsqueak dick.

Upstanding Citizen

There are two positions that involve your partner standing up. The first is very basic. We’ve all seen movies where the guy’s pants are wrapped around his ankles while he gets head from her. This type of oral action usually occurs before you even hit the bed, and can be very exciting in the heat of the moment. It’s even better when you use one hand on his balls or nipples. We recommend doing it just long enough to keep things hot, then climb into bed, or you may not even get your bra off before he lets his load loose.

The second standing position is one you might try in the middle of long, sensual foreplay. Coaching him into position may be a bit difficult, since he probably won’t have any idea where you’re going with this. If he’s already standing, then just keep stroking his penis while you get into position on the bed. The basics are: The man stands at the side of the bed, while you lay on your back across the bed, your head hanging just a bit over the side. Needless to say, this position won’t work if you’re still sleeping on your college futon. The bed has to be high enough for your mouth to be at the same height as his strait and narrow.

The big advantage to this is that the bend in your neck will allow for maximum entry into your mouth and even your throat. Keep in mind, however, that he will be thrusting his Johnson into your mouth, and you will have far less control that you do in other positions. Try placing your hands on his thighs to regulate his movements. If he’s good, he’ll lean forward and massage your outstretched – i.e., firm-looking – body. He may also begin some oral action on you. But keep in mind that your head is upside down and you probably shouldn’t stay that way too long, or you may end up passing out, and nothing ruins a perfect evening quicker that that.

Putting on a Good Face

Suppose your kissing and he’s on top, just wriggle down under him until you reach his shaft. Much as he might during intercourse, he’ll know to hold himself up with his arms while he inserts his penis into your mouth. He’ll probably like this a lot since it comes close to intercourse, he can see the action, and there’s really not a lot he can do on you while you’re down there. He’ll also see the rewards of doing regular push-ups at the gym. He’ll probably start thrusting in and out, which means your head can stay in once place. But if he’s too vigorous, or on the smaller scale of things, you need to control his movements with your hands and head. This position can be a little rough on the neck since you have to bob your head up and down to maintain a grip on his penis. Try slipping your buckwheat pillow under your neck and it should be smooth sailing from here.

Add-Ons

There are a few little extras worth mentioning here that will ensure that your performance goes from Oscar-nominated to award winner. They can be incorporated into the BJ at any point, and the added variation will be fun for you to try and great for him to feel.

Dick Whipping

Don’t worry; we’re not talking leather crops here. Perhaps a better term might be dick slapping, although that sounds pretty intimidating, too. The movement is simply this: As you slide his shaft out of your mouth, flick his penis against your cheek for a couple of gentle, and we mean gentle, slaps. Try it a little bit harder if he seems to enjoy it. The point of this is not that it’s “rough sex” or anything, it’s simply another sensation that will feel good and round out your best BJ technique. It also gives you a chance to breathe and recoup for your next round of oral action.

Hummers

A hummer is another light sensation that he will enjoy. A hummer is really just a moan or hum during the blowjob, which will create a slight vibration in your throat and, in turn, on his penis. We’re not saying that you need to belt out four bars of “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina” during sex, just a low hum or moan in your throat will do nicely. Try changing the pitch of your hum to vary the sensation.

Tinglers

A tingler requires a little advanced work, because you’ll need a supply of cinnamon or mint mouthwash nearby. Put a small amount in your mouth; remember that you don’t want to end up swallowing it. As you go back down on him, release the mouthwash slowly so that it drips down his shaft. The tingle sensation will drive him wild, and it has the added bonus of preventing “dick breath” (see below) when you move back to kiss him on the lips.

Your handy glass of water with ice will add yet another super sensation. During one of your delicate sips amidst the oral action, take an ice cube in your mouth. When you go back down on him, the combination of cold ice and the warmth of your mouth will drive him into ecstasy. As the ice melts, it will also keep him well lubed for extended oral activity. If you’re feeling really adventurous, try taking the cube out of your mouth and sliding it up and down his manhood. The warmth of your mouth after that will feel like a cashmere blanked to him, so this might also be a good time to mention how much you’d like a Chanel cashmere twin set.

Gagging

Perhaps your biggest concern about the world’s best blowjob is gagging. Well, there are times when smaller can be infinitely more manageable. There is no surefire way we know of to completely prevent gagging every time. A lot of it has to do with your relaxation level, and how comfortable you feel. A lot has to do with the control of your breathing. The tips in this book are designed to make you feel confident and in control of matters what you’re doing, or with whom you are doing it. Relax your muscles. Your first reaction when a hot rod is heading towards the back of your throat is to tense up. Remember that Mr. Stiffy is your friend and that he will only feel as comfortable as you do. Also, the less your neck and head are bent, the more room you will have to fit his penis inside your mouth. The best way to prevent gagging is to coordinate your breathing with the in-and-out movements. Take a deep breath in while you can, then release it through your nose as you go back down on your partner.

A note on Swallowing

Without getting into a whole big discussion on the power politics of swallowing, we’re here to tell you that you should NEVER do anything you don’t want to. If you choose to swallow, that is your decision. If you choose not to, then you certainly have nothing to apologize for. Especially since you will have just given him the most spectacular, mind-blowing, spine-tingling blowjobs he’s ever had.

Dick Breath

Some woman are concerned about “dick breath” when they kiss their partner after going down on him. This is another of those preconceptions that you should really let go of. Assuming you’re both tidy and have showered within a reasonable amount of time, you shouldn’t have too much to worry about. If you’re absolutely nuts about it, try taking a sip of water or wine before kissing him. And if he thinks it’s gross, just remember that it was his dick, after all.

A Versatile Guide To Nipples for Women

2008-11-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

So the stage is set. You’ve got the guy, and you’ve got the goods. Now you’re ready to dig into the first course of a memorable five-star meal.

Recently, a friend of ours announced he was taking a leave from his job and was moving to Spain to be with his paramour. When we asked why, he said because the sex was like nothing he had ever experienced. This new love kept him hot, and hard, all the time. After he caught us eagerly eyeing his zipper to see if this was true, we quizzed him to find out what was so special. Was it the technique? Did they do it five times a day? Did he something we didn’t know? The secret, according to our friend, was that his knowledgeable girlfriend cleverly controlled the whens, wheres and whats of their fooling around. Our friend never knew what to expect – and he loved it!

Decent men don’t think about which partner is taking the lead all that much. It just kind of happens. Take a lesson from us: If you want to win in Wimbledon, you’ve got to open with a great serve. Don’t be afraid to start the set. If you’re worried that he’ll think you’re an overanxious amazon, just remember that many men fantasize about being tied up by buxom Barbarellas from Deep Space Nine. Our informal poll of men and women tells us that guys love to have their partners orchestrate; probably more often then you think. The notion of him lying back with someone else calling the shots – and doing most of the work – is pretty appealing. You already know the surefire signal: “Just Grab It”. This chapter will give you many tips on how to keep the ball rolling.

Lip Tips

We all know good kissers and bad kissers, so what makes a great kiss? Loose lips, open mouth, and open attitude. The fact that you’re reading this book means you’ve got an open attitude – or are pretty darn close. But there are other places you can kiss him that will rev up his engine. He’ll think you’ve been training for the Indy 500 and, with these tips, you’re sure to scoop the checkered flag.

After a long, lovely series of kisses on the mouth, it’s time to heat things up and head south. Kisses on the neck are nice, but it’s you tongue that will put him into high gear. Light licks and soft breathing into his ear will send shivers down his spine. Move lower to the most sensitive spot on his neck and throat, which is along the line where his whiskers vanish. Using the flat part of your tongue, and a firm pressure, lick up and down along that line. If he’s too ticklish, lighten up and move on to other parts.

Another good spot is the curve where his neck meets his shoulder. In general, almost any kind of tongue touches in this area will rock the racket. Keep heading south to his underarms. If his hands are clasped behind his neck, you’ve got an open invitation. If not, deftly take hold of his wrist and move his arm up above his head. The underarm area is where men go to town. One reader of us said that while she loved to give blowjobs, there was no way she was sticking her face under some guys arm. We agree that a mouthful of Arid Extra Dry is a lousy way to stick to your Weight Watchers plan, which is why the pre-sex shower is a must.

There are two areas to approach. Start by licking the super smooth spot directly below the hair under his arms for a while, and then go right to the center of his underarm. Use your lips and gums to massage him, moving from section to section. Another sexy spot is along the inside of his arm, in between the biceps and triceps. The skin in these areas tends to be very soft and, often, neglected.

When you’re bored with his armpits, keep licking and mouthing your way down to another area that’s often overlooked: his inner thighs. Slide down and shift positions so that your legs are hanging over the side of the bed and your head is in between his legs. You may already have noticed that many men have a little bald spot on their inner thighs. We don’t know if this is a generic quirk or the result of too-tight jeans, but it’s certainly a great place to play around in. Use the same mouth motion you used under his arms. Start with the bald spot and work your way to the line where his torso meets his leg. Say hi to Mr. Stiffy so he won’t feel left out. A soft stroke with your hand will let him know that you’ll be back later to take good care of him.

A versatile guide to nipples

We already mentioned how some of our readers were amazed to learn that men have feelings in their nipples. To some guys, this is a big nothing. But to others, theses petite protrusions are two major points on the playing field. Our polls show a fifty-fifty split: Fifty per cent say “don’t bother” and fifty per cent are nipple queens.

The only way to find out if a guy’s nipples are in the hot zone is to test the waters. Lazy licking is pretty boring, but he might like the sensation of bites, tugs or tweaks. We tell you everything you always wanted to know about nipples but were afraid to ask:

The first thing you’ll want to do is prime pecs. If your gentleman du jour has been working out, he’ll have hight-pecs inward to send the sensation toward the nipple. He’ll also like the fact that you’ve noticed all his hard work at the gym. You want to get the nipples to the point where it’s almost begging for attention, because when you finally touch it, it will be supersensitive.

Once you’ve primed the pecs, use your tongue and try licking and flicking. Then softly blow some air on the nipple. The sensation of cool air on the moist nipple should wow him with waves of pleasure. Stay with this for about twenty seconds – no more. Proceed to nibbling just the nipple with your lips covering your teeth, and then take the entire pink part into your mouth and do the same. Again, another twenty seconds for this is plenty.

Now try the same routine with your teeth. A word of caution here: Start with gentle bites, not chews. If he likes this – and you should just ask him – increase the pressure. Some guys like a really strong grip, and others find that it hurts. Don’t get carried away as if you were munching on macadamia nuts. Use front teeth only, and stop if he says “ouch.” Another approach is to use your tongue and your teeth together. Place your two front teeth over the top of the nipple as you massage it from the underside with your tongue.

Next, try tugging on his nipples, one at the time, and then both together. By this we don’t mean yanking on them like you were trying to grab the ring on a carousel, but rather giving him a series of sensual squeezes. Grasp the nipple tips with the ball of your thumb and the side of your forefinger, and tug slightly away from his body. Alternate back and forth, between your right and left hands, sort of like milking a cow. If he seems to like it, add a little tweak and twisting action to your tug, continuing to pull the nipple tips away from his body. Most guys love it. Men think it’s like opening a safe, milking a cow, and pulling taffy at the same time.

A word on grips: Light as a feather does nothing here. If a guy’s nipples are sensitive, he wants to feel what you’re doing. Start gently, check his face to gauge his reaction, and then try a little harder. Some guys like a death grip on their nipples; for them, you might consider shopping around for nipples clamps, or asking your dentist for a pair of bib clips the next time you get your teeth cleaned. One last nipple tip: An ice cube from your handy glass of water on the nightstand can also make his tips tingle.

A friend in kneads is a friend indeed

Everyone likes a good massage, whether manual or mechanical. After a hard workout at the gym, your buoyant beau will relish a sensual stroking on his neck, chest, arms, back and legs. Mix up your massages with a gentle back scratching. We already told you to be careful not to pinch and pull hair, especially if he looks like Curious George in the buff. You may not know this, but most men really like a vigorous head massage. You’d kill him if he messed up your hot new hairdo, but he probably won’t care – unless he’s on Rogaine. Start at the temples and work your way back above the ears, using a firm pressure with your fingertips.

Assuming he’d facedown, move your hands toward his neck and shoulders; use just your thumbs lightly on his neck, and then a firmer grip on that often-tense area between his neck and shoulders. Use your whole hand to knead the muscles, adding some extra pressure from your thumbs. Don’t do this for too long or he may end up snoring before Mr. Stiffy goes soaring. While massaging his back, concentrate on the muscles that run along the sides of his spine. Never press on the spine itself.

Keep working your way down until you encounter the glorious globes of his gluteus maximus. An Argentine acquaintance tells us that the bottom burnishing is big in Buenos Aires; it may even be more popular than soccer. Start by pressing your thumbs into the epicenter of each buttock. Using a pretty forceful pressure, rotate your thumbs while you squeeze the rest of the buttock with your fingers. Whether your grip is strong from carrying grocery bags or Bergdorf bags, don’t be afraid to show your strength.

Blowjob Basics - Just put your lips together and …

2008-11-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

So what is the one thing that most men seem willing to die for? The thing that can turn the most high-power businessman into a sniveling idiot? The thing that reduces Ph.D. linguists to phrases such as “Oh, yeah!”? We all know the answer – a good blowjob!

First of all, it feels great. Second, guys have the pleasure of watching and experiencing it at the same time. And third, they get to have an orgasm without doing a lot of work. Of course, how much work he does before or after is up to you.

One woman we know summed up her philosophy about oral sex in one blunt statement: “I ain’t putting nothin’ in my mouth unless I can cut it with a knife.” We suggest she gets a better attitude; a number of famous ladies in history have used their oral expertise to archive great success in international politics, high finance and royal society. Madonna even showed a little of her skill on the silver screen. If you can make the most of your mouth motion, you can have just about anything.

Just the suggestion of mouth mastery will make men quiver. Frederica, a friend of ours, found a unique way to distinguish herself at parties. By demonstrating her uncanny ability to tie a cherry stem into a knot using only her tongue, she was always surrounded by hopeful suitors. Sometimes, she didn’t even have to demonstrate, as the mere mention of it was enough to get guys thinking. She’s very popular.

Blowjob Basics

These BJ basics are guaranteed to blow his mind as well as his horn:
The key to a good blowjob exists just as much in your head as in your hands and mouth. He’s allowing you to take control over the most sensitive and precious parts of his body. Deep down he knows that you could knock him off in a nanosecond. Remember, his penis is your friend, and you’ll want to give it as much attention as you would your very, very best friend. You really have to show respect and concentrate big time on what you’re doing. And he’ll know if you’re really being friends with Mr. Stiffy, or just being a phony.

We cannot overemphasize your proper state of mind. He wants to feel that you are enthusiastically devoting your talents to making his penis happy, and that you’re not just doing it because you had too much to drink. BJs under those circumstances are not as memorable for him. This activity requires your full attention.

Although many people would have you to believe that the key to a blowjob is sucking. However, his penis is not a lollipop. The central action is to move the lips in an up and down, or back and fourth, motion. What makes this act so delicious is that you can vary the pressure of your lips, take the penis out of your mouth, lick the sides and the top, and use your tongue and hands in a variety of ways that will deliver a scintillating series of sensations.

The building blocks of BJs consist of mouth only, mouth and tongue, and mouth and hands. Building with these blocks is your quickest route to a Park Avenue penthouse. Don’t take the power of a blowjob lightly. Know what to do, and when and how to do it. Whether it’s the overture, the entr’acte or the grand finale, the BJ rightly deserves a place of honor in your sexual repertoire.

If you’re starting with Mr. Softee, you should have no trouble putting the whole thing in your mouth while you gently suck and lick. Don’t start moving your mouth up and down until he’s at least semi erect. As with your hand job technique, making a ring around the base of the shaft will help make him hard quicker. And Mr. Softee will turn into Mr. Stiffy in no time.

Before you really get into it, take a sip from your handy glass of water. Kneel between his legs so you can show respect for his prized possession. Put both hands into the L position around the base of the shaft. Lick the whole tip, and then use your tongue to lick up and down the side. Now it should be slick enough to slide into your mouth easily. Covering your teeth with your lips, and keeping your mouth taut, glide the head inside and lick the sensitive spot underneath with both the tip and the flat part of your tongue. Amateurs may think they should use a snakelike quickie lick, but your lick should be more like what you would use on your favorite flavor of ice cream cone.

Now comes the essential part: Still covering your teeth, and maintaining your pressure, proceed down the shaft as far as you can go in one feel swoop. Woman usually think it’s better to go up and down, letting a little more into their mouths each time. That’s for amateurs. Let him know right away that you’re going to take good care of him. Relax the muscles in you neck and jaw as much as possible. Try to breathe through your nose. Being in this position allows you to control how far in it goes. Pull your mouth back up the entire length of the shaft, right over the ridge of the tip. Just as in the ring technique of the hand job, he’ll love the sensation of your lips popping over this ridge. Take it out of your mouth for a second, and go right back down again. This will give you a chance to breathe.

Continue the full up-and-down-the –entire-shaft motion at a sensual, slow pace. Once you get bored with this, usually after two to three minutes, it’s time to start using your hand. One hand will always remain at the base of the penis to keep it in place. With the other hand, make a ring with your thumb and forefinger, and follow the movement of your lips up and down. Maintain the slow pace. Remember to breathe when you get to the top.

When you’re ready to make him really moan, switch from the ring to the magic upstroke, twist, over and down technique, combining a hand stroke with a mouth stroke. Coordinating these motions will take some practice, but it will be well worth it. Still keep the pace slow and steady, or it may be over before you know it.

Don’t forget to pay attention to his nipples, if he likes that. This will give you something else to concentrate on so you don’t get bored, and it will feel great for him. Let your hands work their magic on his penis for a bit, while you use your mouth on his inner thighs, balls, lower stomach and that sensitive spot where his legs meet the body. Try licking this area first to soften it up, and then use your lips to lightly squeeze and massage it. Once you get really good at this, you can have your mouth on his shaft while one hand tweaks his nipples and the other holds his balls.

We recommend torturing him a bit to remind him just how good you really are. You can, in fact you should, pause in the middle of a blowjob any old time you feel like it. Stop what you’re doing. Remove your hand and mouth, and move back up his stomach and chest to his face. Planting a couple of kisses on his lips, neck and shoulders about now will let him cool down for a few minutes. Stopping, starting again, stopping and starting again will make for a bigger, better and much more powerful orgasm, he’ll never forget!

After you’ve stopped and started a few times, and you’ve got him just about ready to burst, return to the upstroke, twist, over and down-mouth combo, work in some head rub action, and go into a fast ring technique-mouth combo. Many men say the difference is that woman rarely go hard and fast enough toward the end. We’re not telling you to get sloppy, just build up the crescendo to a rousing climax. When he’s ready to let it rip, move your head out of the way, or prepare to swallow – more on this later. Keep stroking with your hand until it’s over.

Now might be an excellent time to mention an engagement ring, or suggest that trip to Paris you’ve been wanting.

The uncut version

We seem to know a lot of savvy women who get flustered with foreskin. If your partner is uncircumcised, there are a couple of other tricks that will surprise him. Put your hand around the shaft so that the foreskin still covers the head. Keeping your fingers in the same position, as if you were changing a light bulb, gently stroke the foreskin from the ridge of the head out toward the tip. If there’s enough skin left at the end, you tweak it closed, moving your fingers slightly back and forth sideways, while still keeping the whole head covered. Now you can really begin to make him moan by pulling the foreskin back in stages, bit by bit. Uncover just the tip of the head, and using a probing lick, work your tongue in and out around the head while you still hold the foreskin in place. Next, uncover the entire head, but keep the foreskin just under the ridge as you lick the head. When he’s really, really hard, the foreskin should stay put once it’s pulled back completely. But don’t worry if it flops back sometimes; this will just be another interesting sensation for him. A word on uncut orgasms: Not only is it nice to see a straight shooter, but if you keep the foreskin down at the base, he shouldn’t have to jump up and wash immediately afterward.

Advanced techniques

Once you’ve mastered BJ basics, you’ll be ready to move on to some more advanced action. Some of these positions may be a little unfamiliar to him. But remember that your movements will remain pretty much the same no matter what position you’re in. The degree of control you maintain will also vary. When you’re about to go into a major position change, maintain contact by massaging him, kissing him and lightly stroking his penis. This will prevent any awkward lapses in action that could detract from your Oscar-winning performance.

Side by Side

One position that is fairly comfortable for both the blower and the blowee is side by side. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your bodies are opposed to each other. He lies on his side, with his erection facing you. You are also lying on your side, except that your face is level with his penis. The advantage to this position is that you can relax you head and neck because the side of your head is resting on the bed, or on your buckwheat pillow. You won’t have quite as much room to maneuver your hands, but you’ll still be able to incorporate the ring technique and the up, twist, over and down. He’ll like this position, too, because it will allow him to thrust his hips with a little more freedom. Since he’ll be thrusting, remember that your breathing is very important. If Mr. Stiffy is heading all the way in, you’ll need to breathe when he’s on the way out, otherwise you might gag.

Vagina Massage Techniques

2008-11-26T10:39:00.000-08:00

When performing the following, make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across a woman's clitoris or pushed inside. See the sexual lubricants product page for information on useful lubricants. In most cases, proper foreplay stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones will usually avoid the problem of dryness. Nevertheless, it never hurts to keep a "tube of lube" sitting nearby. Under no circumstance should you put pressure or blame on your partner for this if it happens; work with her to get around it. It’s written all over this and every other sexual information site, but in case you have forgotten, communication is key.

Vaginal Massage
Most women masturbate by rubbing a finger or two over their clitoris, sometimes "through" the skin of their inner or outer lips, in a circular or back-and-forth motion. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. Lie down side by side, and put your hand over hers while she shows you what she likes. You can also try having her hand over top of yours guiding.

External
Another technique which women are very receptive of is to have your partner lie on her back, spread her vaginal lips wide apart with your outer fingers, and use your middle finger to rapidly slide up and down her vagina rapidly and lightly grazing her clitoris. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Don’t forget to use your mouth while you are fingering, keep kissing her, her neck, and all her other erogenous zones.

Internal
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one, and later two or more, finger(s) inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. We're talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger should have freedom to move in and out freely while the palm of your hand can add pressure against her vulva and clitoris. Once you get better, you can start moving your palm to add more stimulation.

Another, more intense motion is to position your hand so that you have one or two fingers inside her with your palm facing her body. Now bend your fingers inward and move them in rapid but short movements focusing on her G Spot. This technique can quickly bring your woman to orgasm, especially when combined with cunnilingus.

Female Ejaculation 101

2008-11-26T10:38:00.000-08:00

There is only one mystery greater then that of the female orgasm, it is female ejaculation. We've all heard stories about friends who have been with women who can ejaculate, but how many of us have actually experienced it first hand? When asked to describe the ejaculations, responses are often quite similar, "It's liquid, it's clear, it's wet, and it squirts". Beyond this, the details have always been quite gray.

Let's begin by understanding what the elements of the ejaculate are. The four main ingredients are Glucose, prostatic acid phosphatase (an enzyme which is characteristic of the prostatic component of semen), urea, and creatinine. The last two ingredients are commonly found in urine, but are in lower levels than in urine. So there is some urine in the ejaculate. Some studies conclude that in some women the ejaculate is more like urine, and in other women it more like a prostate fluid. Until this question is answered fully, its safest to assume that it is a bit of both. The quantity of ejaculate can range from a few drops, to a shower of it.

Where does the ejaculate come from? There are several theories here on this, but remaining constant amongst all of them is that female ejaculation comes from G spot stimulation (please read G spot section for more information). When the G spot is stimulated over a period of time, the spongy tissue that creates this area fills with fluid. Women who can ejaculate often hold back, thinking that it is urine. The ejaculate does come out of the urethra, like urine, so that is where the confusion takes place.

So what's left? You might want to learn how to get someone to ejaculate, or how to do it yourself. Like exploring everything else new in your experience of sex, you should work towards it, but not put unnecessary stresses on yourself by making it your goal. Also, it is not known whether all women are able to ejaculate, so if you or your partner is unable to - don't worry, but perhaps keep trying once in a while. As you already know, the ejaculate comes out the urethra, so it feels a lot like urine. Apart from people who love golden showers, how many people do you know who feel comfortable enough to risk urinating on or around their partners? It may be a good idea to allow yourself or your partner some privacy to understand this function of their body; at the very least let your partner now that you are excited about it, not grossed out. That being said, great places to try this out include the shower or bathtub, in or near water, or on top of some old blankets that you don't mind getting wet.

Good luck - and please be sure to write in and share your experiences of this wonderful type of orgasm with others...

Analingus Techniques

2008-11-26T10:32:00.000-08:00

Getting Started

Before you start poking around her backside, make sure that your partner is ok with it. Some women are not, and won’t react gently when they feel an “intruder”. If you want to try, but your partner doesn’t, don’t try to force them to do it. You have a much better chance that she will try to do it if you have her cooperation, rather than arguing with you. Bring the topic up gently on occasion, and help her open up to this experience by getting her comfortable in the area and with the idea.

Without going too close to her anus, explore her inner thighs and bum with your hands and mouth. Some women have had bad experiences with anal play in their history, mostly because their partner moved much faster, or less gently, than they should have. If this is true in your case, getting her to talk about the topic is a great way to start. By learning where they went wrong, you can prevent that experience from happening again.

Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this form of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your finger(s), penis, or sex toy has been inside her anus, don't put it anywhere else until you wash it. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection.

Make sure to use a good lubricant (and plenty of it!), and start as slowly as possible the first few times. Assess her responses to your actions and react accordingly

Analingus

Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different then licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don’t just jump right in; build up to it and allow for your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing cunnilingus. The area is really sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.

Access to her anus is a little tougher then to her vagina, but there are several positions that are ideal; lying on her back with a large pillow to arch her bum up, her sitting on your face, her bent over with legs spread, lying on her back pulling her legs back, and her upside down with her legs spread.

Anal Fingering

Using her natural vaginal lubricant or saliva may work, but we strongly recommend that you use lubricant, especially the first few times. If you are paranoid about what could be on your finger when you pull it out, a regular or finger condom may be a good idea. Apply a fair amount of lubricant on your finger, and start by making little circles around her anus with a finger. If you feel her clenching her bum, you need to find a way to help her relax, as progressing deeper while she is “tight” will only cause another bad experience. Kissing her on the mouth and all over her body, performing cunnilingus, are just a few ways to ease her anxieties. If you get a chance to put on some music and candles ahead of time, it should help her be more comfortable.

Once inside, you can start playing to see what she likes. Start slowly and softly, and make sure to pay attention to her reactions when you speed up and/or add pressure. A few basic techniques to get you started are move your finger in a circular motion exploring the walls of her rectum, moving in circular motions along a specific region, moving in and out, rotating your hand to spin your finger. After learning what you can from these techniques, start mixing two, three or more of them together. Just always remember that it is a very sensitive area; so be gentle and watch her reactions before going further.

Anal Intercourse

Anal sex is quite a different ball game than using your finger. Even if she does enjoy your finger pleasuring her there, she may be apprehensive about putting something so large as your penis in there. The keys to success are; plenty of lubrication, relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle approach. Let her tell you when she wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with her vagina at the same time. For more on this please see the Anal Intercourse article.

Anal Toys

Butt Plugs
A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs bring, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus.

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so the companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long.

Climax Beads
Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which time the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is too intense to handle. We suggest starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.

And like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

Using Sex Toys on Men: Rings, Sleeves, Pumps, Extenders

2008-11-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

Traditionally, the role of the man in the bedroom has been emphasized on pleasing the woman. But, in this day and age, where equality is at the brink of everything that governs, it’s time for us to show our men the same teasing, stimulation, sensations, and erotic pleasures that we’ve enjoyed for centuries.

The Male Erogenous “Spots”

Unfair as it may seem, guys actually have 4 linked erogenous “spots”. They are known as the P spot, F spot and R spot and the prostate gland. The P spot stands for the perineum which is the strip of skin (about one inch long) between the anus and the scrotum. This area is full of nerve endings that can often bring on orgasm when stroked in the heat of passion. The F spot is composed of the loose skin just where the head and the shaft of the penis connect. Gentle stroking of this area at any time is bound to elicit a wonderful response. (Hint: it can be a great way to wake up your man!) The last “spot”, the R spot, is the line that can be seen running up the underside of the penis. Again, this area is full of nerve endings and is bound to make things jump to life when stroked, licked, or tickled.

Besides the “3 spots” on your guy, there are many other highly sensitive erogenous zones. Of particular mention is the prostate gland. It is the little gland that wraps about the urethra at the base of the bladder in the male body. It’s responsible for producing the male hormone testosterone and for making the thick fluid that makes up “pre-cum” and the fluid of ejaculate. Gentle stimulation of the prostate can be incredibly sensual for men.

Other erogenous (sexually sensitive areas) include the inner thighs, which are a great place for soft stroking fingers, curious tongues and warm kisses. The nipples, just like yours and mine, are fun to play with and incredibly stimulating to most men. Try different types of stimulation to see what he likes best; nibbling, soft tickling, pinching, twisting, licking, or a mix of it all. The last erogenous zone that I find most men love is their ass. I have yet to meet a guy who doesn’t like to have his ass grabbed, caressed, stroked, etc. (However, it’s always a good idea to keep communication open around the back end and not to give any anal play unless he is comfortable with it.) Just because those are the major erogenous zones, don’t be afraid to explore, find ticklish areas, stroke his whole body, caress him with kisses, he’ll love every spot you find on him.

Beating Toy Taboos

If your guy seems a little shy when it comes to new things in the bedroom, a great way to bring up the idea of sex toys is to casually bring up the issue in a non sexual environment. This way, it’s conversational and non threatening. It is easy to find articles in all types of magazines that discuss the use of sex toys between couples and may help him to see that this is not a unusual act, but a well accepted one that in no way threatens his masculinity, nor criticizes any of your past experiences together. Sex toys are now widely excepted and available; the world is starting to realize that sex toys offer a unique way to explore our body as well as our partners and can add a great twist to a regular sex routine.

Another tantalizing way to get him involved is to let him watch you use your toys. Many men love to watch women masturbate, especially when he knows he can join in. Touch yourself; bring out your favorite toy. Let him use your toy on you; tell him where you like it, what you like, what you want, how it makes you fell. Then, if he seems open to the idea, ask him if you can give him a turn. If he says yes, great, if not, don’t give up sometimes these things take a little while to get used to. Now it’s finally time to enter the world of boys’ toys.

The Best Toy of All

We’ll start by looking at using our own toys first as this is the way the majority of men are introduced to sex toys; through girlfriends, lovers, or significant others wanting to share the fun. The great thing about starting this way is that it is a toy that you are comfortable and familiar with. He may have already seen it before, or be impressed if he didn’t know about it. The number one toy owned by women is a vibrator; dildo shaped, mini for clitoral stimulation, or the egg. Therefore, let’s focus on how we can please our guys with these fun little (or big as it may be!) gadgets.

The typical vibrator may be a little intimidating to a guy with its length and width. However, they can be great massage tools to start with. Start off with areas that won’t be threatening, tease his nipples, his thighs, and his penis. For many men, a fear of homosexuality may be aroused with anal discussion during sex. If this is a potential in your relationship but it is an area you would like to explore, wait until your man is more comfortable with the concept of sex toys for his pleasure first. The clitoral stimulator (or mini vibrator) can be used in all the same ways as the regular sized vibrator. However, because of its small size, it can be used in several other more convenient situations. If you are into giving oral, try using the mini on his perineum, at the base of his scrotum, or along his shaft while you lick and suck him. You can also take the bottom and lick or suck his testicles while teasing his shaft and the head of his penis with the mini. Mix things up and see what he likes. Finally, the egg, which is a very small egg shaped vibrator (usually with wire coming out of it attaching to a battery pack) is a great way to start, it’s small and unobtrusive. Men seem to enjoy this toy best when held at the base of the penis, between the testicles or on the perineum during foreplay, oral sex and intercourse.

The sometimes taboo area of male stimulation is the prostate. Your guy may or may not be into this. If he’s not sure, sometimes slow progress is a great way to go. Start by just doing a lot of ass play. Then the next time you two are together try some anus stimulation without any probing. After that he may be interested in a small amount of finger insertion. Just take things slow and he’ll soon let you know whether it is an area of pleasure or not.

Here we’ll look at a comfortable technique for giving him extra stimulation if he’s interested. From either in front or behind of him, stimulate his anus to help the muscles relax. Just as with anal sex (if you have ventured into that domain) it is important that the anus be relaxed and only gentle pressure be used to avoid both physical and psychological injury. Make sure you apply plenty of lube before very slowly and gently inserting your index finger up to the second knuckle. Curve your finger slightly towards his penis from inside. This should allow you to touch his prostate. For continued stimulation use a “come here” type motion against his prostate, tap it lightly, or slide your finger or a toy in and out of the rectum, achieving the same type of stimulation. For your own protection or comfort finger cots or disposable gloves can also be used, again with lots of lubrication. Be careful not to use a lubricant that may break down the materials of the glove or the finger cot.

If these tricks do the job to get him interested in sex toys, or if you would like to start with something a little more adventurous, take a look at the next five exciting categories of toys that can pleasure. The five different categories of toys to choose from include pumps, masturbation sleeves, erection rings, ticklers, and extenders. There are endless possibilities from these toys girls! Let’s find out how we can use these toys on our boys…

Penis Pumps

Penis pumps are a long standing joke in the movie world. However, they can be a lot of fun. A penis pump won’t permanently enlarge his penis, and it won’t make it thicker or stronger. However, it will stimulate him and pull the blood into the penis making him incredibly aroused and increasing both the size of his erection and the length of time he maintains it. It’s easiest to apply the pump if he is slightly hard. Some lip and tongue action is always a great idea. Then hold his penis in your hand and slowly slide the penis pump down over his erection. Now, depending on the type of pump it has you can either start pumping by hand, or hook it up to the pump source. Start off low and slow. A slow pumping action, drawing the blood into his penis will start to build a harder longer orgasm for your man! It does take a little practice to get coordinated, but once you have the pumping action down pat, don’t neglect the other erogenous zones.

While you are pumping with one hand you can stroke his inner thighs, run your finger tips over his hips and ass, tease his nipples, whatever turns him on, because this is all about pleasing him for now! It’s recommended that we give the pump a rest every five to fifteen minutes, so depending on how long you can wait to have some pleasure yourself, vary up the activities. You can leave the pump on and explore his body with your tongue or take it off and give his penis some more tongue action. As with any stimulation, it can take some adjusting and you may find your guy can only take the extra sensation for a short time without exploding at first, so let him build to his comfort and take it from there. This is definitely a fun toy for a change in pace of masturbation or hand jobs or for extreme stimulation while he explores your body with his other hand.

Masturbation Sleeves
The next set of toys is the masturbation sleeves. This toy is probably one of the easiest toys to use. Typically owned by single men, there’s no reason why it can’t provide fun for two. Again, this is another inviting option for a guy who likes hand jobs from you and himself. The sleeve is typically a long tube of warm fleshy material (like jelly or silicon) that has a large opening at one end for the penis and a smaller opening at the bottom end. The trick to these toys is finding one the right size. Although most appear quite small, they stretch to accommodate most size stretching up to about 3 extra inches. So although width isn’t usually a problem, length can be.

The smaller opening at the bottom end of the sleeve allows for the penis to slide out with full penetration. This sensation is sensation to some men, yet others prefer to remain within the warmth of the sleeve. It’s a personal choice your man may need to try to figure out through some trial play time. The fun thing with the masturbation sleeves is the variety of looks they come in. Some shaped like the voluptuous thighs of a woman from behind or in front, hard shelled cases with tantalizingly fleshy realms waiting within. You’ll have fun exploring in this category of toys.

Once you’ve chosen the perfect toy for you and your guy, it’s best to get started with some foreplay and teasing before using the sleeve. I am always a big fan of tickling and licking all over. Once he is hard, his penis can be inserted into the sleeve. It might be easier to get him to get it on at first. Don’t forget to lube up to avoid chaffing. Once his penis is inside the sleeve, it is like giving a hand job, slide the sleeve up and down his shaft, you can twist slightly as you pull up to increase the friction, try staying at the tip and sliding the sleeve quickly or slowly over the head of the penis. For another stimulating move, try sliding the sleeve very slowly down his penis giving him a good squeeze as you move. And, to mix things up a little, slide the sleeve quickly down him with just enough force to give his scrotum a stimulating slap. Once again, when you get used to the motion and the actions, get daring! Try new things, watch for his reactions, and don’t neglect his nipples, thighs, ass, and testicles.

Erection (Cock) Rings
Erection rings are another toy that is well known to most. They follow the basic idea of the penis pump; blood in the penis is good. This toy helps to keep most of the blood flowing to his organ in it. It is easiest to put on an already erect penis and can be worn at the base of his shaft or include his scrotum as well. In order to determine the size of the erection ring, measure around the scrotum and penis or just around the shaft. You shouldn’t get a ring that is any smaller than this diameter. If you are unsure of the size needed, then go for an adjustable ring or one that is made of a more flexible material such as jelly.

The cock rings listed here are some of the most popular ones for comfort, feel, and looks. Single strap rings are a single strap (usually leather) that fasten around the penis and scrotum and are adjustable and easy to remove. A perfect starter for the beginner!

The solid ring is the one more stereotypically seen in sexually motivated movies. Made of plastic or metal, and are applied before an erection is achieved. They can be a little trickier to get on as they have no flex to them, and they can only be removed once the erection is lost.

The testicle spreader does just what its name implies; it spreads the testicles through the attachment of straps around each testicle. The straps then click onto the ring. Another similar ring is the testicle stretcher which elongates the scrotum and can be attached to a leash or small weights for extra pleasure or a bit of role playing. Ball stretchers will actually cause your fellows testicles to hang lower if used over a prolonged period.

Finally, the last and favorite of many is the vibrating ring. This one is a great toy for him and her all around. It is the same as the single strap erection ring but made from a firm jelly, and comes with a vibrating bullet that can be placed the tip of the penis, on the clitoris or at the base of the scrotum for added pleasure. No matter what type of ring you choose, it is important to remove the ring every 20 – 30 minutes to allow the blood to circulate through the penis so that the erectile tissues receive enough oxygen to remain healthy. An erection ring shouldn’t be used if you have any type of groin or genital injury. If your guy is on blood thinners, has a clotting disorder, or is diabetic, he should talk to his doctor before playing with erection rings.

The best thing about erection rings is that they can be put on in many tantalizing ways before they even conjure pleasure through their presence. It is easiest to start with a simple ring. You can put it on with your hands or your mouth. This does take some practice, but usually as long as you give him some pleasure in between trying, he won’t mind all of the extra attention. Hold the ring in your mouth between your lips and your teeth then slide your mouth down over his penis and use your tongue to help roll the ring onto his penis. Unless you have abnormally good muscle control in your tongue, it may need to be adjusted at the base with your hands. Once on, enjoy his prolonged erection in any way you want! If you are feeing adventurous, try a ribbed, studded or vibrating ring for some extra stimulation yourself. Whatever you do, have fun, and enjoy.

Ticklers
The next category, ticklers, is as fun as it sounds. They can be thought of more as intercourse accessories. Ticklers are textured sleeves or tips that can fit either over the penis or over a vibrator. The texture of the tickler enhances the stimulation of both partners if worn during intercourse.

Ticklers come in many patterns and textures, two of the most popular being ribbed (which is a sleeve covered with many circular nodules) and the pineapple which has ridges along the body and fronds at the tip for a little extra excitement. These pleasure inducing items can be worn during intercourse (tickler sleeves) or may just cover the tip for “tickling” the opening of the vagina or the anal entry. However, be careful not to lose the tip type in any passage.

Ticklers are mostly used by men, but can also be used on them. Place the tickler on one or several of your fingers. Use it to massage his sensitive areas. Give his ass and anus a stroke. If he is interested, try a little bit of anal stimulation rubbing the tickler around his anus until he is relaxed and the press slightly on the anus, just enough that it is slightly indented and then vibrate the tickler or turn in a small twisting action. The tickler can also be used to stimulate the erogenous areas of his penis. Run the tickler along the underside of his shaft, around his testicles, and if he isn’t too sensitive, try giving the tip of his penis a tickle as well. There is really no limit to the ways in which a tickler can be used.

Extenders
These toys are not only for men who wish to be longer, but also for women who love that sensation deep within. There are two types of extenders: the strap-on, and the strapless. The strap-on is a hollowed out rigid or semi rigid tube that fits over your man’s erect penis. As the name implies, a strap is required to help keep the penis extension in place. The strapless extensions however roll on much like a condom with a few extra fleshy inches at the head. This is another great toy that can be applied with your lips and tongue if the material is flexible and soft enough.

The downfall to these great toys is that they do affect penile sensitivity. (It is like the equivalent of wearing four or five condoms.) Although they do cover the penis and are quite thick, they are not considered an adequate measure of STD and birth control. For the strap-on type of extender a condom should be worn underneath for effective safe sex practices. With the strapless kind, a condom should be worn over the outside of the extender.

Extra care needs to be taken with jelly, rubber or silicon extenders as nicks in them could cause them to tear. Furthermore, oil or petroleum based lubricants (i.e. Vaseline) shouldn’t be used with rubber, latex or cyberskin type products. As well, silicon-based lubes can’t be used on silicon. If incompatible lubes are used on the extenders, deterioration may occur. A little bit of soap and water is all it takes to clean these toys up. These extravagant penis extensions can be fun for role-playing, or just trying a different penis for a day. They do increase both size and width and come in textured variations for your pleasure. If your man finds the decrease in sensitivity a mood killer, try out the vibrating version! Once again I remind you ladies, just because the penis is covered, there are plenty of other erogenous zones that need some attention! It may also be important to remind your guy (not during the heat of the moment of course) that this toy is just fun for role playing and that it has nothing to do with inadequacy of his tools or his ability to use them.

The Verdict
So, ladies, there is a treasure chest of spine tingling, toe curling toys out there for your guy. It’s up to you (or the two or you) to pick and choose your favorites. Don’t be afraid to try new things and surprise him with a special new treat. But remember, no matter what toy you choose, it is always a good idea to invest in lubricant. It spares your lover from the risk of painful blisters or rub spots and feels great with whatever toy you choose first. Because when he feels good, you’re going to feel good too!

Prostate Massage Techniques

2008-11-26T10:04:00.000-08:00

For many couples, the prostate is a largely unexplored region of recreation, and yet it can be an area of pleasure for both partners. Whether this area becomes a staple of your sexual practices is to be determined, but some initial investigation is recommended before making a decisive conclusion.

The prostate gland is centrally located inside the pelvic region of the male; it sits below the bladder and immediately in front of the rectum, wrapping itself around the urethra in order to add to the flow during ejaculation. The area between the anus and the genital ‘zone’ is known as the perineum, which is in close contact with the prostate gland. So not only does this little organ lend itself to hedonistic pleasure, it also actually performs a reproductive function by producing a seminal fluid that allows sperm to survive in the vaginal cavity.

Reaching the gland can be a potentially invasive procedure, involving petroleum jelly, rubber gloves (if desired), and wholehearted arousal in order to stimulate relaxation of the sphincter muscle. The stigma associated with anal penetration may be negative, depending on a person’s particular background. Factors that affect an individual’s readiness to delve into this sphere can range from degrees of homophobia or a fear of appearing homosexual, to simple issues of discomfort. An important point to consider is the man’s willingness to engage in this affair; the more frightened, unsure, or unwilling the recipient is, and the more the incident is going to hurt, lowering the overall chance of success. Perhaps a drink or two might be required to relax inhibitions.

Though it is a voluntary muscle, the anal sphincter is designed to open upon internal pressure ... specifically, the force that is exerted from a full bowel. If gentle stress is placed on the periphery of the (well-lubricated) anus, it will perform the same action in reverse, almost sucking the finger into the rectal area. Once the finger or suitable substitute is inside the rectum about one or two inches, it must be pointed towards the ventral (stomach) region of the male and gently manipulated. In other words, if you are sitting between your partner’s legs and your finger is in his anus, curl it toward yourself to facilitate the stimulation of his prostate to orgasm. Some men may need less or more specific attention to the areas in and around the rectum; for some companions, provoking the perineal surface before and during sex can promote or intensify the climax, and can form an alternative method to penetration.

An inhibiting factor to be aware of is the rectal susceptibility to infections of all kinds, especially those caused from the insertion of unclean instruments or of lubricating agents that contain low quality ingredients. Due to the vulnerability of this and other internal organs to damage, care and consideration is always warranted. Washing of the area with soap before and after the activity is a good plan, as is the use of condoms for organ penetration. Don’t feel discouraged by the apparent elaborateness of preparation; anticipation is half of the enjoyment. Enjoy!

Anal Toys

Butt Plugs

A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs bring, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus.

Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so the companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long.

Climax Beads

Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into anal play.

Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which time the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is too intense to handle. We suggest starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.

And like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.

Male Ejaculation 101

2008-11-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

The formal definition of male ejaculation is “the release of semen from the penis”. During sexual stimulation, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts located where the vas deferentia join seminal vesicles within the prostate gland. When stimulation reaches climax, a spinal reflex causes contractions to the muscles within the penis, urethra, and the prostate gland. These contractions propel the semen through the urethra and out of the tip of the penis. Although male ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously in most cases, they are not the same process. An orgasm, specifically, is the rhythmic muscular contractions that are a release of accumulated sexual tension and result in an intensely pleasurable sensation.

The rhythmic contractions occur initially at 0.8-second intervals, just as in women, and account for the spurting action of the semen during ejaculation. The intervals between contractions become longer and the intensity of the contractions tapers off after the first three or four contractions. Semen usually takes a few seconds to appear … ejaculatory inevitability (the point at which stopping is impossible) … because of the distance the fluid has to travel. During ejaculation, the sphincter of the urinary bladder is tightly sealed to keep urine from mixing with the semen, as well as making sure that the fluid travels forward, or out.

There are a surprising 20 million sperm/ml of seminal fluid, and average ejaculation consists of 1.5-5ml. Semen contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc -- but all in very modest quantities. Some of this is designed to nourish the semen enroute, while other ingredients are designed to neutralize the acidic environment of the vagina (which would normally be inhospitable to sperm). In case you are wondering, most of these ingredients are indeed very healthy, and an average ejaculation contains only about 15 calories.

Since orgasms and ejaculation are separate, it is possible to have either without the other.

In situations where ejaculation occurs on its own, there are two main causes. In the first, involuntary ejaculation occurs during sleep, and is known as nocturnal emission (formally) or a wet dream (in slang). The second main cause is known as premature ejaculation (click here for a more complete explanation), which is a sexual condition in which a man consistently feels he has little or no control over the timing of his build up to ejaculation.

Orgasm can occur without ejaculation. Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where the bladder's sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen flows into the bladder. It is commonly found in men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. Before you get worried, it can also occur occasionally in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it can render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. This condition is also known as a "dry come" because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.

There is also a condition known as retarded ejaculation, ejaculatory incompetence, or delayed ejaculation. It is a sexual condition in which a man is unable to ejaculate even though he is highly sexually aroused.

Male Masturbation Techniques

2008-11-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

Hand jobs are a great way to pleasure your man. They can be used by themselves, or while performing oral sex on your partner. Below is a listing of hand job techniques, mostly gathered from alt.sex.faq. Although not necessary, it is better to perform these using a lubricant.

Pressure

With one hand, pull the shaft's skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.

Fire

Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.

Glans Head Massage

Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the glans head. Reverse directions every once in a while.

Healing Stroke

With the penis resting on the man's stomach, take one hand and cup the testicles. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.

Twist and Shout

Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand, corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.

Anvil Stroke

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top, all the way to the bottom. When you hit the bottom, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat.

Bookends

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down.

Doorknob

Turn the head of his penis like you're trying to open an oily doorknob. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.

Double Whammy

Bring your well lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some penises are so big they require both hands; if your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his testicles, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.

Milking

Start with one hand lightly grasping the bottom of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the bottom all the way to the top. When you hit the top, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the bottom of the penis and repeat.

Perpetual Penetration

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom, letting his penis "penetrate" into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous.

Ring

Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

Shaft

Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his glans head. You will notice his glans head swelling and turning red. When it's bright red, use Doorknob, Glans Head Massage, or Perpetual Penetration.

Shuttle Penis

Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.

Spot Pinch

Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his penis. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch, squeeze, nibble and tease that spot.

The G Spot Techniques

2008-11-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

If the woman is laying on her back, then her G Spot is located roughly 1.5" inside her vagina on the upper wall. The most ultimate orgasms come from a woman having her g-spot stimulated. The area inside the vagina typically has a different texture; ridged (not as smooth) as the rest of her genitilia. A G-Spot orgasm is often associated with female ejaculation and 15-30 mins of a euphoric sensation where the female is in complete bliss... Don't expect much from her during this time, she is in heaven.

Fingering

With your fingers as far "in" as is comfortable for the woman, move your fingers in even circles all around the inside of the vagina. It generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vaginal walls while rotating. You may wish to give a LITTLE extra pressure towards her belly (upwards) as long as you don't break the steady rotational rhythm. Stop rotating your fingers and rest your fingertips on the (usually slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert pressure towards her belly (upwards). This is direct G-spot stimulation, and it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving. You can move your fingers in small, slow circles, or point your fingers more sharply and rock them back and forth.

Intercourse

This topic will be covered in greater detail in the Intercourse section, but keep in mind the angle you position yourself or your toy during intercourse. Being able to stimulate the G-spot during intercourse will usually help you satisfy your partner better.

Cunnilingus Technique 101

2008-11-26T08:44:00.000-08:00

Performing cunnilingus is about the most wonderful thing you can do for a woman. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and it has the tendency to give her an exceptional orgasm. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is the easiest way to orgasm. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious; and that is meant as you enjoy the taste, smell, and feeling of her vaginal juices. Besides, lots of women expect it these days and men who perform great cunnilingus are always appreciated and considered fabulous lovers. What if things don't smell so sweet? Don't suffer or complain, just take a nice hot shower or bath together. See the Bathing and Showering section for more details on how to make that bathroom experience a whole lot of fun for the both of you. Before reading further please read the section on the clitoris (Other Spots) so as you better understand exactly what you are dealing with and how it works. Also, it is an excellent idea to combine cunnilingus with fingering techniques. This generally will make a woman's orgasm more intense and will get her there more rapidly.

Tonguing

Remember, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel great to the woman. Also, you should never stop doing something that is obviously working (unless your purposefully teasing her, but don't take that to far either).

Here are some descriptions of how to get your tongue into certain shapes for performing cunnilingus:

The sharp, wide tongue:
To achieve this position, stick your tongue as far out of your mouth as possible, then try to touch your nose. Once you are in this position, hold the same muscle groups still and begin moving your tongue around. Practice five sets of three, moving the tongue first in circular motions, then up and down.

The sharp, round tongue:
To achieve this position, point your tongue while simultaneously trying to make the top of your tongue touch the roof of your mouth and the bottom of your tongue touch the bottom of your mouth. Once you are in this position, practice moving your tongue in and out of your mouth while keeping the tongue hard and round. For the more advanced student, try keeping your mouth closed and circling your tongue around inside of it, while of course, maintaining position.

Flat, soft, wide tongue:
To achieve this position, flatten your tongue in your mouth. Try to make your tongue rest gently on the bottom teeth. Once you have accomplished this, slowly, while holding the position, move your tongue outside the mouth. Practice curling the wide tip of the tongue upward, downward and side to side. This too, practice for five sets of three, while holding each move for 2 seconds.

Flat, hard, wide tongue:
To achieve this position, flatten your tongue in your mouth. Cover all your bottom teeth with your mouth. Using some force, try to explode your tongue in all the side positions. Using all the muscles in your tongue, try to move your tongue around.

Tonguing Techniques

The Lick
Leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed, try licking her from vaginal entrance up to her clit. This is a really good way to start out.

Labial Hold
Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two parts together with your lips. Now do the other side.

Tongue Intercourse
In and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.

The Clitoris Flick
Spread her outer vaginal lips with your hand(s). Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't handle the feeling. Some women may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.

The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e., very wet). These are very intense actions which may be too much to take for some women, even when nearing orgasm.

The Clitoris Suck
With her clitoris exposed, give it a quick little suck; pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her.

The Clitoris Hold
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.

The Tongue Tube
Roll your tongue into a tube (if you cannot do this, forget about it because it is genetic and you can't learn it). This technique works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around her clitoris. Slide it back-and-forth; in effect, your tongue is doing something similar to a woman's vagina around a man's penis. This is likely to bring any woman over the edge and to an explosive orgasm.

Still Having Trouble?
Try using your tounge to spell the alphabet on her genitals. This works surprisingly well as your tounge is always moving in different directions. Learn her favourite letters and the orders that work the best!

Bathroom Shower Sex: The General Ideas

2008-11-26T08:28:00.000-08:00

The General Ideas

Some general ideas to remember about bathing together. When cum mixes in hot water it general begins to congeal, rather quickly too. This turns the viscous ejaculant into a very sticky substance that if allowed to dry around hair is difficult to remove. Word to the wise is to try and avoid letting this happen. If you are going to make your man ejaculate while bathing, be sure to either have some tissue handy or to take the cum in your mouth and either swallow or spit into a tissue. Secondly, this applies to most women, not all, water tends to absorb vaginal secretions, making it difficult to keep lubricated in the bath. So, if you and your partner wish to practice vaginal intercourse in the bath, try to keep it above water. More over though, this is actually not that bad of a place to practice anal intercourse, due to the cleanliness and the fact soap can be used as a partial lubricant (for the anus only). Too much soap in the anus can become irritating, although the rectum will be spotlessly clean. Do not put soap in the vagina. It will cause major irritation and pain. If your a man and you want to know what it feels like, try to push a bit of soap down the opening of your penis. You won't ever want to do that again.

Bathing Her

Lather up her body and don't miss an inch of that gorgeous skin, from shoulders to toes. Avoid washing her face, she's not a child and most people find little enjoyment from it. Now that she is fully lathered in suds it's time to get down to the main course. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner vaginal lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris (Do not allow soap to go inside her vagina, can cause infection). Run your soapy hand down the crack of her buttocks and rub a finger all around her anus. If you are planning on some anal play, stick one finger in her anus and wash around inside too. To get her thinking in the right direction stimulate her vagina by rinsing your fingers off well and sticking one or two inside her, making a circular motion; like washing the inside of a tall glass. Do not try to push your fingers in and out of her vagina, water has a very nasty ability to make her vagina not so lubricated. Always remember this, water is not a lubricant and it does not.

Bathing Him

Lather up his body and pay extra attention to his genitals. Take his penis in your hand and lather it up and by basically masterbating him. Wash all around the head and down the shaft. If he has foreskin, pull the foreskin back gently and wash around penis head. Run your soapy hand down the crack of his butt and rub a finger all around his anus. If you are planning on some anal play, stick one finger in his anus and wash around inside.

Showering

Think of showering just like bathing except your standing up. The whole issue with water making her less lubricated virtually dissappears. The only thing you really have to remember about the shower is that both of you are in there and it is cold at the back of the shower. Try to be curteous to your partner and share the hot water with them. Other than that it is all about fun.

Waterproof Toys

There are a great number of toys that are waterproof and that can greatly improve your bath time.

Sex Positions: list of some of our favorites

2008-11-01T21:27:00.000-07:00

Getting bored of the same old thing? A creative way to perk up your sex life is to vary your positions. Here are a list of some of our favorites.

1) Missionary - Good Old faithful. The woman lies on her back with the man lying on top of her. This position invites kissing, touching and holding. It is limited though, if there is a great height difference between the partners. It is also not very good for female genital stimulation.

2) Doggy - Good Old faithful's best friend. The woman gets down on her hands and knees. The man kneels behind her and enters her vagina from behind. Not great for touching, but allows the man to stimulate the woman's genitals while penetrating.

3) The Scissors - Great for deep penetration. The woman lies on her side. The man kneels on top of her, lifts her uppermost leg and penetrates.

4) Upright - Good use for furniture. The woman lies on her back on a table that is at the man's groin level. The man picks her legs straight up and penetrates.

5) Cowgirl - Great for female control. The man lies on his back. The woman crouches over his penis and lowers herself on it.

6) Reverse Cowgirl - Gives him a nice view of her ass. The same as the "Cowgirl" but the woman crouches facing the man's feet. Can be turned into a "round the world" where the girl turns around on the guy's penis. (We've only seen this in porn movies, but it certainly looks interesting)

7) The Spread Missionary - A great stretch. The woman lies on her back with her knees bent outwards. The man lies on top of her. Good workout for the woman's thighs, too.

8) The Couch Potato - Hey, you can watch TV at the same time! Similar to the "Cowgirl", the woman sits on top of the man who is sitting on a couch, recliner or loveseat. She can get as acrobatic as she likes.

Men love to see the results of their hard sex work on your body!

2008-11-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

Men love to see their cum on your face. In your mouth. On your tits. On your pubic hairs and on your back. They love to see the results of their hard work on your body. They love it beyond words. And, if we are honest, we love it too.

Do you have your eyes open or closed while you are sucking on his hard penis? The answer is he loves both.

Men love to see you close your eyes in bliss while you are sucking his cock. It makes him feel like a movie star, a king, a real winner. And if he feels like a winner he will be a winner. If that is his process. You can grow out of that one too. But not while he is still in his little cotton socks. It is a process of maturity. Walk before you run. Crawl before you walk. Run before you fly. Fly before you soar. Soar before you leave orbit. Learn to leave orbit before you jump the light speed. Everything in stages.

Men love to see you look adoringly up at them while you are sucking their cocks. And what about your posture? Their favorite one?

MEN LOVE TO SEE YOU KNEEL IN FRONT OF THE ALTAR OF HIS COCK AND SUCK HIM OFF WHILE he is standing up. For some reason they love that. It never fails. If you start there, he will usually have you up and bent over a table and start giving you the ramming of your life from behind, and then they turn you over, push your legs wide apart and finish off missionary style, face to face. They like to watch your face when they cum. Don't try and slow him down whatever you do. But if you are confident enough you can break off his heated pumping by going down on him again. He isn't going to object, but you will have to suck vigorously to give him the continued sensation that he is fucking your vagina. Maybe its the meekness of sucking him off that gets him off Its a mystery, but it works.

Men love to have their cocks sucked while they are still in their trousers. It’s a recurring fantasy. It probably stems from their schoolboy furtive wanking days when they used to have a crush on one of the female members of staff. They all have wanking fantasies of shagging her in the gym or in the stock room while still in their trousers and they don’t really grow up. They are the same when they are at work as grown men. We are still the teachers and they are now old enough t fulfill their fantasies. Same with the little girls we once were. How many of us had a favorite teacher man?

Maybe more than one. And we used to go home and really punish the button about being fucked by our favorite teacher, right there over the table after class on his table. If only w had the nerve. Of course there are all sorts of rules against it and he would get fired on the spot if you were ever caught. But the fantasy still rules us when we are big girls in the office. We shag the boss, or we shag the temps. There is this unwritten rule to fulfill our schoolgirl fantasies and that urge is a strong in him too. Remember that.

The surreptitious sexual act is three times more exciting than the one that is planned within the rules of romance and believe me when I tell you that it goes on. Some of my readers are well in on the act. But those of you who are wanting in on the act can start learning the game and these little booklets are designed to help you get some sexual excitement back in your lives. Those of you who are rocking already can only improve.

Men love those surreptitious sex acts and so I can't stress it enough. Forget being Miss prim and proper. You will end up an old spinster on the shelf if you don't get wise to it.

Men lie back and let you handle the cock ...

2008-11-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Men love to lie back and let you do all the work letting you take over the cock department completely while they just lie back and let you go at it. You will probably need to be in a car or in a bedroom for that one unless his office has a lock on the door and a couch, or your office has one. Many do. If not install one. That couch in you office tells him that you suck cock and that you like to fuck in there too. Especially if it’s a black leather one. Don't ask me why, but a black leather couch in the office is the universal signal to a girl or a man that this couch is for shagging on. If it is there, then you are going to have a shag on it. But you have to stop being coy about it. Ladies, stop being coy about it .. they are as scared as you. Most often more than you! So make the move and get it on!

You might think he thinks you are a slut for it, but really he doesn't think anything of the sort. He thinks you have guts and he is grateful to you. What he says to his friends is one thing ha he really thinks is another. He loves you for it. And love, remember, is a kind of respect. He thinks you are stronger and have more nerve than him. Every man respects courage. Its written in his genes. It’s the hunter-gatherer. It’s the lioness instinct and everyone knows that lionesses are better hunters than the males. So don't be put off by that "slut" propaganda. That is a self-esteem problem. It’s a bigger self esteem problem for us to be masturbating all the time instead of getting laid. Which would you rather do? You would rather get laid than lie in bed alone and masturbate. Your self-esteem goes up ten points after you have conquered. So does his. That is why you buy the lipstick, remember?

Why you buy all the clothes and the cosmetics. For the shag that should be coming at the end of all that expense. So stop cheating yourselves and make the moves that get you. Even if you want marriage at the end of it and want to procreate the race as your main motivation. It is normal. It is what keeps the world turning. All men are born of women.

OFFICE SEX

Once I was in my office and I had this student temp come into the office one Christmas. He told one of my staff hat he fancied me. I let it go for a few days then I had him moved to a small office near mine where all the windows were blocked out and there was a lock o the door. One day, before lunch I just walked into his little office where I had arranged for him to be and made sure that I was wearing a skirt and that my knickers were already ff. I stopped inside the door, locked the door, winked at him and sidled over to the desk. He was embarrassed and a bit shocked. I came round to his side of the table and rubbed my thigh up against his body.

I wasn't wearing knickers - his hand and my leg ...

His hand came up and slipped up the side of my leg and when he felt the fact that wasn't wearing any knickers the bulge in his pants grew very fast. He knew I was up for a good shag and he couldn't believe his luck. He was up and bending me over the table in no time and shafted e from the back. He really fucked me hard and I went down on him and finished him off in my mouth to make sure he didn't get cum all over my working suit. From then on I was in is little office three times a day and that went on for six weeks. I had two of them on the go in different parts of the building. The both got bonuses in their pay packets for "good work". I could arrange that because I was there boss and the had the intelligence to keep their mouths shut. Now, the point of telling you all this is that if you want to get laid you have to make the first move! Sometimes he won't for fear of rejection.

So the Rule is:

IF YOU WANT HIM TO SHAG YOU PUT HIS MIND AT REST ABOUT NOT BEING REJECTED.

If he is shy and he thinks you will reject him, you both lose. If you make it clear - crystal clear, if you have to - that he is not going to get rejected if he touches your tits, then you are going to get fucked and fucked a lot. If you have to actually grab his cock, then just grab it through his trousers but make sure he gets the message. Even the shyest bloke is going to get the message and overcome his fears if you lay that one on him. Women are generally more intuitive than men and can usually tell how to approach the man.

Office sex is easy because you have time to scope out the situation. Most relationships take off in a large office complex because you see each other every day. The amount of shagging that goes on among married and unmarried men and women in offices would shock the world. I may devote a whole booklet for you on the way OFFICE SEX WORKS. It’s the stuff that gets you through the day, alleviates the boredom and can really notch up the numbers on your leather handbag strap. It’s a captive audience girls and men rarely say no to a good shag in the office. But discretion is your best armor. The quieter you keep it especially from the other girls, the more chance that you can keep on fucking. Be bold then, but not stupid. There is a simple fact and we women don't like to look at it. We have got big mouths and we all make the same mistake. We brag about our conquests to the girls and if we fancy a particular man in the office and we brag about it to the wrong girl, it gets out. Women talk about even more than men talk about women. It is a fact of life. Intelligent worldly men know that about us. The young ones don't. They brag.

A Quick Course on Condoms for Women

2008-10-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

Why

Unless you’ve been under a rock for the last ten years, you know that condoms are now DE RIGEUR and have had quite a resurgence in popularity. Not including water-filled window launchings, a favorite pastime of prepubescent and fraternity boys, condoms serve two purposes. They keep you from getting sick and they keep you form getting pregnant. If your situation is such that you don’t needn’t think about such things, you are fortunate indeed. If you plan to stick to some of the safe sex alternatives we offer, no problem. But for those who will be confronting the reality of rubber, we offer these tips. Even if a guy is totally responsible, dealing with condoms poses several possible situations you may have to handle and overcome.

Who

Every situation is different, and you know best about which guys in your bed do or don’t require this equipment. Some men wonder if they’ll be perceived as overly cocky if they just happen to have a condom around. Don’t even give it a second thought. The rule of thumb is that if you’re at his place, he should have condoms handy, and vise versa when you’re on your own turf. Consider it being a well-prepared host or hostess. But since we all know that men can be lousy hosts, you have to be ready for action wherever you may be.

If the situation arises at your place and you don’t hear the rustle of foil, just reach for your bedside condom container. A word of advise here: Even if you purchased a case of condoms in preparation for entertaining the new first-year law class, it’s probably wise to keep only a reasonable number, say two to four, in the container by your bed. Some men don’t want to think that you’re entertaining the troops, so it’s best to appear prepared but not professional.

And, as a matter of fact, it’s a good idea to separate each condom from the perforated strip beforehand, like stamps, so your partner doesn’t feel like he’s taking a number at the bakery on a Sunday morning.

If you end up at his place, a little advance work is necessary. On a first-time visit, he will probably show you around. This is a good time to scope things out. You can hang up your coat, but hold on your handbag. Almost immediately he’ll turn on the stereo and ask you if you want beverages. This would be a good time to ask for a glass of ice water. You can pretty much bet that the action will take place wherever two people can be horizontal and still hear the music. Plop down your handbag somewhere around this area. In the event that he grabs you as soon as he gets to the bedroom part of the tour, your handbag is still with you, and you can fling it somewhere near the bed in a fit of passion. It doesn’t matter if this is your first visit or not. If he doesn’t make the move to get a condom, just do it! You’ll know when the moment is right.

When

It may be that wearing a condom doesn’t feel as great as skin to skin, but in these day and age, riding bareback is definitely not an alternative. Suppose you encounter a guy who whines because he doesn’t want to wear one. You may find it hard to believe that some guys think they’re being totally original when they say, “It’s like taking a shower with a raincoat on.” Besides being really stupid, this negative analogy equates a condom with an article of clothing one wears in nasty weather. You must redirect this fashion thinking immediately, and concentrate on other articles of clothing that bring to mind positive, fun and pleasurable associations. The best argument we’ve heard goes something along these lines: “You wouldn’t go running without your sneakers, skating without skates or diving without a wet suit, would you?” You need to wear the right gear for the activity. And that’s exactly what this is about – getting all dressed up appropriately to go to the party. Even your macho, hot-to-trot Latin lover will understand that he has to wear a party sombrero if he wants to go to the fiesta.

What

While any port will do in a storm, an informal poll says the condom of choice is a brand called Kimono. The Micro Thin Plus type is especially nice for him. Kimono condoms come in all sorts of varieties to suit any preference. Lifestyles brand is also recommended. And, for your purpose, these are a little more ladylike that Trojans, Ramses or some other butch-sounding brand names.

Kimono also makes a product called Aqua-Lube, which is perfect for inside and out expect that is doesn’t come in a pump bottle yet. Never use Vaseline, because it cam break down the latex in the condom. Never use products with fragrance, because they can irritating to both of you. Avoid condoms with extra spermicide, such as nonoxynol 9, if either of you begins to burn or itch. Lambskin condoms are old hat and don’t protect against disease. We don’t recommend them. But … one woman we know was truly creative when his receptive partner said that he had an allergy to latex. She sprang into action and put a lambskin condom over a latex one. This is also known as “double bagger,” but you have to be careful that they don’t rub together and break, or that you’re not so lubed up that they can slide right off.

A while back, there was a big marketing push for condoms with bumps and ridges. One ad in men’s magazines used to promise “a thousand tiny fingers urging a woman to let go.” If speed bumps make you tingle, then go ahead, knock yourself out.

Ditto on the “artistic” varieties, unless these fall in line with a particularly festive theme for the evening. Of course, there are always some guys who like to feel like GI Joe when they wear camouflage condoms that boast “don’t let them see you coming.” Maybe you’ve known a couple of bozos who like the carnival colors? Or the scout troop leader who went wild for the glow-in-the-dark kind? These are novelties and should be treated as such. More important, these things are often of inferior quality. Unless you’re partying with Homer Simpson, forget the costumes and cutesy stuff.

If you are in a tryst where your partner presents you with a flavored condom, that’s your cue for some super-safe oral action. Remember, he’s not the one who’s going to be tasting it. If you’re going to make this part of your regular repertoire, try a brand called Kiss of Mint, which doubles as a light breath freshener.

Where

If you are raveling, and that could mean being on a date across town, keep a couple of condoms handy and accessible in the same way that you would a wallet, passport or camera. You never know when a great photo opportunity will arise. Maybe you’ll end up at his place after a date. If he never has anything but beer in the fridge, don’t expect him to have condoms either. It’s a lot more convenient to make one magically appear from your handbag than have him frantically search a backpack from his last camping trip.

How

Many guys have fantasies about their partner applying the condom with her mouth. As this requires quite experience, practice on an inanimate object before you tackle the real thing. And remember, use your lips and not your teeth.

Once that is out of the way, the next insider’s tip is crucial because this little bit of knowledge will separate you from the rest of the pack. Although we recommend pre lubricated condoms for intercourse, you may also want to put a little dab of your water-based lubricant INSIDE the top of the condom right before you unroll it. This will make the experience more pleasurable for him. Use just a drop; the idea is to get a small glob on the head of his penis without rubbing it all around the shaft, because you don’t want the condom to slip off. You’ll never have a problem getting it on him again, and he’ll wonder why he didn’t think of it before.

So what’s the proper application etiquette? Opening the package, but not removing the condom, before you actually start fooling around will help things run smoothly when it’s time to stick in. Don’t do it more than a few minutes in advance or the condom will dry out. If he wants to put it on himself, just let him. If you want to make him feel that his erection is the most magnificent thing you’ve even seen, kneel down between his legs while you adopt an attitude of solemn worship – sort like saluting the flag. Since condoms are rolled up, it will take a little practice to figure out which side is the top. Put a dab of lubricant inside the unrolled condom or on the head of his twitching member. Place the condom on the penis head and pinch the rubber tip between your thumb and forefinger to allow some space for what’s to come. Then unfurl the rest, climb on board and go to town. He will have wonderful thoughts of you rallying ‘round his mast.

You shouldn’t even have to think about disposal, because he should know well enough to flush the evidence down the toilet. If he leaves it lying on the floor, or stuck to your wastebasket, think about dumping him. Our not-so-scientific studies would indicate that he’s a pig.

Q & A: How do you get a man to perform oral sex?

2008-10-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

Q. Here's what I really need advice for. I've been dating one woman for about five months now, and she really means a lot to me. Our sex life is great, and I normally feel confident when we're together in this manner, all except for one thing. She often gives me oral sex, but as of now I've only gone down on her twice. This is the first relationship in which I've done this, and so I'm very inexperienced and unconfident. I just don't know quite what to do down there, and I don't think it's near as exciting for her as it is for me when she goes down on me. Could you possibly give me some "technical advice?" I really want to please her with this, and I just feel like don't have the knowledge or skills yet. Thanks for your time.
Anxious

Dear Anxious,
Take some time and check her out down there. Be familiar with her genitals and where and what all her parts are. Most importantly, know where her clitoris is. You need to suck and lick on the clitoris (of course, fingering the vagina adds extra stimulation...). And don't be shy!! Ask her what feels good and what doesn't. You'll never master cunnilingus on your girlfriend unless you get her feedback.

Q. How do you get a man to perform oral sex? I really love my boyfriend and enjoy having sex with him. Unfortunately, he's not as experienced as I am and, I think, he may be a little uncomfortable with anything other than the man on top/woman on top positions. He enjoys it when I give him blowjobs (as do I) but he has yet to return the favor. I think he feels a little lost "down there". But I don't mind "playing doctor" and letting him take his time learning his way around. So how do I turn him on to the idea of "eating out" and assure him that what he doesn't know he can learn? Oh, and it's okay to post this for other readers to answer as well.
Signed,
Kiss Me Down There

Dear Kiss Me,
Some men believe or are afraid that a woman will be "dirty" down there. To avoid this, bathe with your boyfriend and have him wash your genitals. Afterwards, lie down and ask him to just look at your genitals. Prior to this, be certain you know your genitals well, so you may answer any questions he may have. You're probably right, though, about him feeling uncomfortable about what he may not know. Hopefully, he'll be more willing to perform cunnilingus on you once he "knows his way around".

Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to perform oral sex on me because of the following problem that I have: My penis leaks white fluid which she says is not normal, because it leaks a great amount. When I even touch her body in a movie theatre, my underwear get wet and it is just uncomfortable with me! What is my problem? Sometimes even when we talk about sex on the phone my penis leaks. Sometimes, when I think about having sex, the white fluid starts going out of the head of my penis. And even, after a shower, I feel sometimes when I think of it, it leaks a bit. Why is my penis leaking like that? Can you please help me? And I am really feeling bad about not getting oral sex. She just doesn't like to do it on me because it leaks! HELP ME PLEASE!
Leaky

Dear Leaky,
Sounds like you've just got a large amount of pre-ejaculatory fluid. Use a non-lubricated condom for oral sex. If you're still really bothered by this, talk to your doctor or a urologist.

Q. I've been dating a girl for about five months now and we have a great relationship. We get along well, and rarely have any serious disagreements. We sleep in the same bed every night and have a physical relationship and she has told me that she plans to see a doctor soon so that she can get on the pill and we'll start having sex, but in the meantime I'm not pressuring her into it and I'm making sure she knows it's her decision and that I'm with her for other reasons. We're both virgins and we're fine with staying that way until everything's right. She's given me oral sex and she said she liked it, and I've brought her to orgasm many times, but here's the problem - she won't let me perform oral sex on her. I've only been in one serious relationship before and that girl let me perform oral sex on her and we both loved it. I'd love to try it on my current girlfriend because I think it's something I'm good at and I think she'll enjoy it. I've dropped some hints that I'd like to try it, but she hasn't let me yet. By all indications from our conversations, she hasn't ever had it, so it's not like she has had bad experiences with it. Since she has given me oral sex, I can't imagine it's because she thinks it's disgusting. I'm confused about why she won't let me, and I really want to try it, how do you think I should approach the situation?
Signed,
Willing to please my woman...

Dear Willing,
Your girlfriend may be self-conscious about how clean she is down there. Start out with a bath or shower together. Help her wash her genitals. Afterward, have her lie on the bed while you open her labia (lips) and explore her. Tell her it looks very clean and smells good (compliments will help her feel better about it). While you're doing this, touch her in a way that you know feels good for her. When you sense that she is relaxed, try licking her clitoris. If she doesn't stop you, start sucking on her clitoris. By this time, you shouldn't have a problem. If this whole "routine" doesn't work the first time, keep trying it, over and over. She'll "come" around soon enough..

Q. I'm a 17 year old male, dating a 16 year old female... A couple of weeks ago, we were home alone at her house, and I went down on her. She said she loved it, and more or less craves it now... However, she still hasn't gone down on me. I'm dying for her to, but she just hasn't. How can I get her to do this?
chris

Dear Chris,
Have you asked her yet? If you have, and she still hasn't done it, she may be afraid of doing it "wrong". Let her know that whatever she does will feel great. If she's worried about catching a disease, or she just plain thinks it's gross, she can use a non-lubricated condom. You could also try the 69 position. She may feel more comfortable with both of you performing oral sex at the same time.

Q. I have tried going down on my girlfriend, but have not made her have an orgasm I would like some advice without all the technical terms, please.
r.l.

Dear r.l.,
Suck on her clitoris and finger her vagina at the same time. And don't stare at her while you're doing it. If you don't know what these terms are, you need to look them up and find out where they are located on your girlfriend.

Q. My wife enjoys oral sex but will not let me perform it on her. One of her girlfriends keeps hinting that she would like me to eat her pussy. What should I do?

If you can't get your wife to let you perform cunnilingus on her, don't do it. To anyone.

Q. How do i give my girlfriend a perfect session of oral sex?

You communicate with her and ask her if she likes what you are doing. You won't do it perfectly the first few times... you see, you have to evolve to that.